Diary of an accompanying partner

This week Emma and Jo dig into the stories we tell ourselves, sparked by a very relatable accompanying partner moment: saying yes to one too many volunteer commitments and watching the boundaries you swore you'd keep quietly disappear. From there they unpack a big week at ellora., including Lab. with author Thammika Songkaeo that surfaced some unexpectedly raw insights, and a book club discussion of Brené Brown's Braving the Wilderness that turned into a conversation about identity, home, and what it means to keep one foot in two countries. This episode covers: Overcommitting and boundary creep Inside ellora.'s Writing your story Lab. with author Thammika Songkaeo Takeaways from Brené Brown's Braving the Wilderness Building an identity in a new country while staying tied to home Telling different stories to different people about how long you'll stay Why "no end date" can feel destabilising #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

A volcano erupting in Indonesia strands Jo’s husband in Bangkok and Emma's husband disappeared on a flight that never made it into the shared calendar. This episode is about what happens at home when the working partner is suddenly, or constantly, away: the logistics that land on one person by default, the martyr mindset that creeps in, and the acknowledgement both Emma and Jo quietly want for picking it all up. This episode covers: A volcano eruption, a missed calendar invite, and the chaos of a partner travelling Falling into martyr mode, and learning to ask for (and give) acknowledgement Comparing notes with military spouses and fly-in fly-out families Whether kids really notice when a parent is away "How long are you here for?" and the different shelf lives of expat life Falling hard and fast: making friends at speed abroad To join our global network, head to www.elloracollective.com #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Season 3 is officially back, with a new format that puts Emma and Jo's own accompanying partner lives front and centre. This episode is a debrief of the first in-person ellora. member meetups, held the same day in Bangkok and Singapore, from a mother who never framed her own interstate move as an accompanying partner experience, to a woman whose job back home is being held for her for up to twelve years. What comes through is just how differently this journey can look, whether you've moved across a border or across your own country, whether you're six weeks in or sixteen years in. This episode covers: Why season 3 is changing format ellora.'s first in-person meetups in Bangkok and Singapore Reframing a domestic move as an accompanying partner experience Career compromise and the pressure to avoid a resume gap Networking without kids, and without the local language Life at home when one partner's career takes over Closing theme: hope and patience To join our global network, head to www.elloracollective.com #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Three months into Bangkok life, Jo and Emma close out Season 2 with an honest stocktake: what's settled, what hasn't and a look ahead at what's changing in Season 3. The financial frustrations are still real: Jo still doesn't have access to a Thai bank account, and what starts as a practical gripe opens into a bigger conversation about dependency, financial oversight, and why accompanying partners need to stay across the money at every stage. But the mood is largely positive; Bangkok is starting to feel like home and three weeks alone is something Jo is looking forward to. The episode ends with Emma and Jo hosts flagging the shift ahead: Season 3 moves away from Jo's solo diary format into a shared peer conversation, with Emma and Jo both bringing their perspectives to the themes that define the accompanying partner experience. This Episode Covers: The ongoing reality of financial dependency and why it matters beyond relationship strain The importance of both partners maintaining oversight of key life decisions and documents How small unresolved frustrations compound into broader relocation dissatisfaction Jo's reflection on how quickly she has found community and belonging in Bangkok A preview of the Season 3 format shift toward a peer conversation model

As the Summer Break creeps up, Jo is planning a full household boot camp, think: daily maths, Duolingo, and treadmill time before anyone touches the TV. With her parents comfortably settled in for a month-long stay and playing an active role in daily life, Jo also navigates a change of plans around sending her girls home unaccompanied, ultimately booking herself on the flight after reading the emotional undercurrents. This Episode Covers: The emotional load of being the family anchor through relocation How extended family visits create deeper connection than short holidays The value of saying yes to unexpected opportunities Why making introductions for others often benefits you too Lowering the barrier for people to respond (voice memos, anyone?) If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Nine weeks into Bangkok life, Jo discovers that some "easy" Australian classics don't travel well. A simple request to bring Lamingtons to her daughter's school cultural day spirals into a three-day saga involving four supermarkets, eye-watering coconut prices, and a very specific recipe debate with her husband. This Episode Covers: The hidden complexity behind "simple" tasks when you’re new to a place Redefining what counts as a "win" or achievement when you're not in paid work Using hobbies as a way to find purpose in career breaks The value of paying it forward: connecting newcomers with locals How perspective and attitude shape the experience of relocating If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Eight weeks into life in Bangkok, Jo reflects on how quickly a new city can become normal. From taking work calls in the back of a tuk tuk to ordering groceries, batteries and even a borrowed portacot through an app, this episode explores the small moments that signal a relocation is starting to feel like home. Alongside the convenience and community, Jo also shares a sobering experience with a corporate spouse support service and what it reveals about the gaps that still exist in relocation support. This Episode Covers: The surprising things that become routine when living in Bangkok How convenience, technology and delivery culture change everyday life The power of community, WhatsApp groups and asking for help Different approaches to building a network in a new country The benefits and challenges of online communities A firsthand experience with corporate spouse support programs and where they can miss the mark Why poorly designed support can sometimes do more harm than good The ongoing impact of career restrictions and work rights for accompanying partners Playing tourist in your new city and discovering local experiences close to home The reality of hosting visitors while trying to maintain routines and family life after relocation If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

After eighteen weeks of diaries, relocations, chaos and constant change, Jo finally admits something surprising: she’s starting to feel…calm. For the first time since arriving in Bangkok, life is beginning to feel less reactive and more settled, even if routines (especially exercise!) are still a work in progress. This episode covers: The moment relocation starts to feel less like survival mode and more like real life Why routines for yourself are often the hardest thing to rebuild after a move How values, priorities and identity shifts show up in everyday decisions The joy of sharing your new city with visitors and becoming the “local” Bangkok adventures involving tuk tuks, flower markets, furniture shopping and apples…so many apples The fantasy vs reality of the accompanying partner lifestyle How differently people approach relocation depending on life stage, career and priorities If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Jo’s shipping container has arrived, the beds are assembled and Bangkok is truly feeling like home, which means the “settling in” phase is slowly turning into real life. This episode covers: Unexpected surprises while unpacking Approaching visitors when you live away from “home” How friendships evolve when everyone is constantly moving The strange feeling that six weeks can feel both incredibly short and forever at the same time The shift from relocation mode into everyday life and routine If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Jo is back in Singapore for the first time in 18 months and recording a diary episode in person with Emma for the first time. What unfolds is a really honest reflection on what “home” actually means when you’ve lived in multiple places, how quickly familiarity can come flooding back, and the strange mix of comfort and dislocation that comes with it. This episode covers: What “home” means to different people and how to create it (if needed) The reality of relocation logistics (missing passports, delayed furniture, chaos) Why small, familiar details (like artwork or routines) can ground you The role of openness in building new connections quickly The difference between expat communities vs smaller/local relocations Letting go of obligation in relationships that don’t feel aligned If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

A month in, and the early momentum has shifted. Last week felt like clarity and energy were returning. This week brought a different reality: the emotional comedown that comes when the move stops feeling new and starts feeling permanent. This episode captures that swing: the highs, the heaviness, and the complexity of holding both at once; for yourself, and for everyone else in your world. This episode covers: The emotional whiplash of relocation: from “we’ve got this” to unexpected overwhelm Carrying the family load: managing different experiences across partners and children, and being the central point holding it all together The invisible weight of financial and logistical stress Parenting through transition: supporting a struggling child while questioning how much to show and how much to hold A powerful moment of vulnerability: what happens when you let your kids see that you’re not coping perfectly The internal conflict of privilege vs. struggle, and why both can exist at the same time The importance (and difficulty) of naming how you’re really feeling, especially when you “chose” this life Reaching out vs. holding it in: the role of friendships and shared experience in releasing pressure The ongoing mental load of relocation: the unseen, unpaid work required just to make life function If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Three weeks in, and something has shifted. Not everything is sorted (there’s still a house to deal with and real life creeping back in), but the fog is lifting. Routine is starting to form, energy is returning, and with it, a version of Jo that feels a little more like herself again. Jo is at that point where capacity is coming back online, ideas are starting to flow again and she is realising how much the last few months has taken out of her. This episode covers: Feeling “semi-human” again and what it says about the mental load of relocation The return of ideas, energy and creative thinking once capacity frees up Two very different networking experiences and what they show about introvert vs extrovert energy Why confidence doesn’t have to look the same to be effective in new environments Practical ways connection actually happens: school communities, saying yes, and sometimes inviting yourself in The hidden social load of relocation and how often one partner carries it Rethinking the working partner’s experience and why they’re not always building connection either Finding your way in a new place through small, everyday moments (walks, markets, routines, new friendships) If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

A week on from landing, things are starting to shift. The kids are in school (and thriving), the house back home situation is still uncertain (and being mentally parked), and Jo is doing what Jo does best: getting out into the world and building connection from scratch. This episode is a mix of momentum and reality: the highs of seeing your kids settle, the effort it takes to create a life beyond them, and the emotional undercurrent that still sits just below the surface. This episode covers: The instant reset that school brings and why international schools can be a game changer for relocating families (and the unexpected emotional relief that comes with it) “Future Jo’s problem” - how to mentally park the things you can’t control (like housing limbo) Building structure fast: co-working spaces, clubs and creating places to go (even without a job) Reframing “life admin” as real work and the mindset shift to treating it like a job (or even a COO/CEO role) Creating your own rhythm: learning days, dedicated work time and separating “everything” into something more manageable The reality of putting yourself out there: book clubs, Facebook groups, Meetup, and leaning on existing connections The balance between going all in socially and holding space for your family to settle The emotional release (i.e. tears, overwhelm, relief) that still comes, even when things are going well If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

We join Jo one week into life in Bangkok, where she is experiencing the highs and lows of the relocation. There is a sense of relief in being able to land straight into their new home, alongside the fun of exploring and settling in as a family. But, there’s still an undercurrent of stress, particularly with the house sale falling through back in Australia. It’s a reminder that even when you “arrive,” relocation rarely wraps up neatly, and the mental load doesn’t switch off overnight. Overall, Jo sums it up as “net positive,” but with plenty still to process as they properly find their feet. This episode covers: The emotional shift from build-up to arrival: relief, routine, and finally being “in” the move Landing straight into a home vs. temporary accommodation (and why that matters more than expected) The reality of “day one logistics”: supermarkets, setting up a home, and decision overwhelm A major curveball: the house sale falling through and the ongoing mental load from afar The ripple effect of stress on family dynamics, patience, and capacity Adjusting to Bangkok: heat, air quality, noise, and the intensity of a much bigger city Kids in transition: one thriving in the change, one still resisting, and holding both Early signs of connection: neighbours, local spots, and small moments that make it feel like home Practical lessons from week one: what to pack (and what you forget), air freight realities, and early-stage setup gaps If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ⁠ ellora.⁠ #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner Episode 11: Bogged down The chaos of the move continues to deliver, from moving trucks getting stuck (twice), to last-minute logistics and life admin. There’s a lot of “I’m done” energy. Amidst this, Jo and her family have managed some meaningful goodbyes, people close to Jo are sharing big news before she leaves. It’s a week that captures the messy overlap of logistics, relationships, and the reality of closing one chapter while not quite being in the next yet. To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: Delays and frustrations with contracts, lawyers, and the lack of closure The reality of rural logistics and “if I don’t laugh, I’ll cry” moments The physical and mental fatigue of prolonged decision-making and transition Staying connected across distance If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner Episode 10: Boxed in We join Jo quite literally surrounded by boxes as her home is being packed up around her. After the emotional rollercoaster of the auction, there’s finally movement: a buyer secured through a chance network connection, bringing cautious optimism. While the logistics are intense, there’s also a noticeable shift in Jo’s mindset. The stress of uncertainty is easing, replaced with a readiness to close this chapter and move forward. At the same time, the physical toll of the past few weeks shows up in small ways (not eating, not sleeping), offering a real reminder of how much these transitions take. To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: A last-minute house sale secured through unexpected network connections The reality of packing: culling, decision fatigue, and letting go of “stuff” The emotional (and physical) impact of prolonged uncertainty and stress Easing a family through transition with staged goodbyes and familiar routines Different reactions to change within a family, especially kids Letting go of place vs holding onto people and what actually matters The tension between pushing forward and pausing to acknowledge a big life chapter Early signs of relief as things begin to resolve and momentum builds toward the move If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner Episode 9: The auction room Episode 9 is a real-time snapshot of transition at its messiest, as Jo joins straight after a disappointing house auction. What was meant to be a clear “line in the sand” moment, closing one chapter before moving countries, instead becomes another layer to navigate. Despite weeks of preparation and scenario planning, the reality of a low offer, misaligned expectations, and decisions being made across time zones brings up frustration, uncertainty, and the weight of what this house still represents. It’s an honest look at how even the most practical decisions during relocation are rarely just practical. To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: The challenge of not being able to cleanly close a chapter Differing priorities within a couple during big decisions Weighing up financial and emotional impacts How emotions can override even the best planning A reminder of strong community through a joyful farewell party The tension of being “in-between” with no clear resolution yet If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner Episode 8: Running on three hours Jo joins us after three hours of sleep and a 4am run to the airport. This is as close as we’re going to get to Emma’s goal of making Jo cry on camera as the count down to last nights in the house, handing over the dog, and hosting a farewell party are truly in play now. Jo also reports back on the “homework” from last week. She’s leaned into self-care (walks, a haircut, a facial), accepted practical help from friends, and been honest with her community about how she’s feeling. That honesty pays off in a very Jo-style form of support: friends stepping in to cook for the party and her Singapore book club already planning visits to Bangkok. To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: The sleepless nights that come with the final weeks before a relocation How scenario planning can take over when big decisions (like selling a house) are looming Recognising the early warning signs of overwhelm: anxiety, poor sleep, lethargy and losing routines The role of community support, from practical help to emotional check-ins Why distance doesn’t always weaken friendships when you’re used to building community across places The mix of grief and excitement that comes as the move becomes real A reflection on the privilege that shapes some relocation experiences, including passport mobility and supportive partnerships If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner ep7: Scenario planning isn’t self-care Jo’s in the last-month “twilight zone” where the biggest dominoes (house, cars, packing) are yet to fall, while at the same time she’s starting to say goodbye to people and places that might be “the last time.” Instead of leaning into her usual management tools - to-do lists and tidy action plans - she’s defaulting to scenario planning and spiralling into Plan B logistics. Underneath it all sits a sharper question: when you’re the organiser, the counsellor, the logistics coordinator… who’s actually looking after you? The episode lands with some very practical “self-care homework” (walks, booking the therapist, and waving the support flag), plus a forward-looking promise of Thailand’s ultimate coping strategy: regular massages. To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: The “twilight zone” before a move: close to leaving, but stuck waiting on things you can’t control Starting the goodbyes early and the weird emotional weight of “maybe I won’t see them again” The discomfort of feeling unproductive when your personality wants momentum now Self-care avoidance, the “me” dropping off the radar and physical stress signs showing up Practical “homework” for the week: go for walks, book the psych, and activate the friend network If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere

Diary of an Accompanying Partner Episode 6: Dog dental drama Jo checks in from a slightly calmer week post-Bangkok: still busy, but with fewer dramatic curveballs (depending on your stance on dog dental bills). She talks through the slow-but-fast pace of relocation admin, the weird reality of being “the point of contact” while still being ignored, and the constant drip of costs as they finalise house, cars and logistics. The episode also veers (in the best way) into book chat and bigger reflections on whose career takes precedence during a move, plus the very real question: how do you “take a back seat for now” without letting it become forever? To watch the recording on YouTube, head to the playlist ⁠⁠here.⁠⁠ This episode covers: Deciding not to go back to Bangkok again with the kids Relocation admin chaos Pre-packing momentum The pet relocation dilemma The relentless expense curve of moving and where to spend vs where to refuse A mini plug for the ellora. book club If this episode resonated with you, you’re not alone. ellora. is a global membership community for accompanying partners navigating the realities of international relocation — from career disruption and identity shifts to rebuilding connection, confidence, and community abroad. As a member, you’ll gain access to: Live expert conversations Global networking opportunities Member-only events Practical relocation and career resources A trusted community that truly understands this experience Join the community at ellora. #DiaryOfAnAccompanyingPartner #elloracollective #elloralab #GloballyMobileTalent #AccompanyingTalent #GrowAnywhere