GAYDHD with EMMA WILLMANN

Emergency solo recording, because I had too much to report and no intention of letting my brain flit it into the ether. Last time I was high on my supply of mantras — turns out "I'm not someone who scrolls" lasted about seven days, and I'm ready to admit I'd medal at the Scrolling Olympics. Then a head cold, a Kansas City real estate gig, and a full health-anxiety spiral led to me buying a Life Alert bracelet at 40. And finally, the payoff I'd been saving: the sphincter specialist, the exam, the diagnosis, and the $6 Amazon fiber pills that may have quietly fixed everything. Plus whether I was, in fact, flirting with the sphincter doctor.

Comedian and science nerd Sarah Adelman joins Emma to talk sperm banks, big dick energy, anxiety, gossip, the placebo effect, and all the bizarre ways our brains shape reality. Sarah shares what it was actually like working at a sperm bank, why she thinks she found scientific evidence for “big dick energy,” and how seeing that much sperm changes a person. They also get into why gossip helps us bond, why embarrassing memories stick with us, whether being cringe is actually the key to getting good at something, and why Emma uses the placebo effect to convince herself a bad stand-up set is going great. Plus: failed cheating schemes, accidental doula meet-and-greets, emotional incest, space travel, butthole fingerprints, and much more.

Sex therapist Shavon Gaddy joins Emma for a very funny, very frank conversation that starts exactly where you'd expect — Emma's newly diagnosed weak inner sphincter and the fiber-supplement redemption arc that came with it — and somehow gets genuinely useful from there. They break down the actual difference between anxiety and depression, and between "being depressed" and a depressive disorder, plus why they don't hand out major diagnoses to 12-year-olds. They also get into the Madonna/whore issue in a long-term relationship (you can be a sweet pea AND a whore), the real difference between a kink and a fetish, why you should never yuck someone's yum, and a deep and committed exploration of the piggyback fetish.

Comedian Alex Kumin joins Emma for a conversation that goes 0 to 100 in the best way — funny, tender, and ultimately inspiring. Alex tells the story of finally meeting her longtime therapist in person, sobbing in her arms, and then falling into a three-week breakdown that turned out to be exactly the release she needed — decades of pushed-down feelings finally moving through her. (Content heads-up: they discuss surviving childhood sexual trauma, cancer, and survival in general.) They also get into the difference between CBT and DBT and holding two opposing truths at once, the fantasy of a "flatlined" middle-of-the-road existence vs. real equanimity, crying as release rather than something to medicate away, and learning to sit with feelings and say "I'm safe" now in a way you couldn't at 6, 21, or 35.

Elle Orlando is back — and this time she and I are doing a book club. Two dyslexic comedians who hadn't cracked a book in years both tore through Lena Dunham's memoir, and they get into everything it stirred up: feeling compassion for their 24-year-old selves, the wild Klonopin doses in the book, and how getting off Klonopin made Emma feel like she hadn't known herself in years. They also dig into where the "school system got my ass," being alternative thinkers displaced from the Midwest, being lifelong people-pleasers (and why this book felt like exposure therapy), the terror of asking for what you need before you've "made it," and learning guitar as healthy dopamine. Plus the mortifying gift of a mom who relates a little too personally to everything. Plus the usual Am I the Asshole to close it out.

Solo one this week. I get into the week that gave me a little breakdown, the mantra that pulled me out of it, my favorite neuroscientist who identifies as a dolphin, and why I spike my matcha with Celsius.

Comedian Onika McLean joins for a hilarious conversation that opens with a full-blown rant about trying to "ground" in a New York City park that's been overrun by transplants and their so-called emotional support animals. Onika breaks down the real service these dogs provide, the rescue dogs dragging their new Minnesota owners around Bed-Stuy, and why she's been reduced to standing in a basin of Epsom salt at home just to relax. From there, we get into everything we try because TikTok told us to, chasing morning sunlight while fighting the urge to grab our phones, nervous systems and stomach issues, and the theory that a forehead kiss is just someone trying to steal your brain power.

Comedian Oscar Aydin joins for an unhinged, very gay, very funny conversation between two friends with zero filter — capped off by a gay-slang lightning round where they rank each other with words like slay, shade, chosen family, and butch queen. Along the way: Emma announcing she got "rear-ended" and Oscar needing to know which kind, the fantasy always beating the reality (see: dressing up for the cable technician), and the amateur porn couple Emma followed so long she felt genuinely happy when they moved into a nicer house. They also get into the comedy of porn comment sections, reclaiming the word "queer" and Emma's mom's total confusion about it, and whether Larry David would survive as a gay man.

Comedian and actress Brittany Schmitt joins Emma for a raw, funny conversation that starts with the eerie feeling that your phone knows your love life better than you do. Mid-breakup, Brittany's feed filled up with reels describing her exact situation — and she breaks down the meme that finally got her off the wrong train. They get into self-righteous anger as a drug, the interior designers who stole $25K, why saying "I'll never" paints a target on your back, and rerouting your brain the way athletes do.

Comedian Eva Evans joins for a sharp, funny conversation about saying the wrong thing online and the people waiting to punish you for it. Eva breaks down what happened when a follower told her a word she'd grown up hearing as a compliment in Jamaica was actually rooted in an ethnic slur — and how posting the apology publicly, hoping to help other people learn, turned into the thing she regrets most. They get into the self-righteousness of "how did you not know that," the impossibility of code-switching without getting dragged for it (see: calling a Jamaican TRN a "social security number"), why outrage outperforms everything else in the algorithm, and how to protect your peace when the comments never stop. Plus: Eva's three-year process writing a joke about dating a trans guy that would actually land, leaving Christianity, getting into crystals, stress that shows up in your body, Jamaican beauty standards vs. American self-doubt, and the Bob Marley mix-up that turned Emma bright red on stage. Plus an Am I the Asshole about a friend who sold a concert ticket after the buyer wouldn't pay up.

Comedian, actress, and TED talker Jaye McBride joins Emma for a funny and surprisingly tender conversation about growing up trans before there was even a word for it. Jaye opens with the childhood moment of seeing a trans person on TV — that flash of "that's me" — followed by her father's worst-possible reaction. They get into coming out as trans in 2007, how Pride has changed over two decades, the theory that the most rigidly conservative people are hiding the most, losing religion, neurodivergence, celebrity crushes, and the racism baked into how the NFL treated Black quarterbacks.

Comedian, actor, and writer Ali Kolbert joins Emma for a long-overdue catch-up that goes deep on the brutal mechanics of dating, breakups, and queer identity. They open on the gaslighting breakup Ali's still recovering from — the ex who insisted "I'm gay, he's just my friend" and is now a year-plus into dating that man — and the universal agony of not trusting your own gut until it's too late. From there: what it's like being single-single for the first time in years, why being a messy partner makes you "a guy, but a shitty guy," whether every long-term couple is secretly up to something, and the art of breaking a rule inside an open relationship. They get into passing, masculine vs. feminine energy, "sneaky man ones," why neither of them can stand lesbian porn, and the strange new phenomenon of straight people being obsessed with gay people on stage. Plus two listener dilemmas: a cuddle-not-sex bar encounter that somehow ended in a marriage, and the person who realized their breakup felt less like heartbreak and more like losing the one assistant who knew the context of all their enemies. ✅ Stay Connected With Me:👉 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmawillmann👉 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamemmawillmann👉 Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamemmawillmann #EmmaWillmann #AliKolbert #GAYDHD #QueerComedy #ComedyPodcast #LGBTQComedy #LesbianComedy #StandUpComedy #Breakups #QueerPodcast #FunnyPodcast

A solo deep-dive bonus episode where Emma gets back from a mini comedy tour and can't stop thinking about perception — what it feels like to walk on stage and feel a room "register" you in real time. That spirals into the legendary tale of the Texas wedding where she set out to win over the most conservative guy there (sleeveless cowboy tuxedo and all) and ended up more popular than the bride. Then comes the main event: a full investigative deep dive into Willa Ford, the early-2000s "bad girl" pop star behind "I Want to Be Bad," whose entire second-album rollout got buried when her single dropped on September 11th. Emma traces what actually happened to her (spoiler: interior design), connects it to her own show getting derailed by COVID and George Floyd, and lands somewhere unexpectedly philosophical about media, Marshall McLuhan, and the meaning we project onto the things we put into the world. Plus: who lives rent-free in your brain (Chingy? Trillville?), and an Am I the Asshole about a vegetarian husband, a steakhouse anniversary, and a wife who went to Outback alone to prove a point.

Comedian, actress, star of Kevin Hart's Funny AF, and aspiring empire-builder Caitlin Peluffo joins Emma for an unhinged, very funny, very gay conversation about dating, desire, and the absolute state of modern courtship. They get into the frozen-peas-on-the-TV trick for sneaking past strict parents, getting caught by mom mid-hookup in high school, and Caitlin's quest to get back out there after seven months off the market. The two break down what actually makes a DM work (public account, good photo, don't be creepy — the bar is in hell), the worst messages they've ever received, and the guy who fumbled a sure thing in the most baffling way possible. Plus: why having a man plan the date is the ultimate green flag, flirting getting harder the longer you do comedy, body image and the shame that lingers, and Caitlin's new YouTube special Prosciutto Rose (and what that title actually means). Plus an Am I the Asshole about phone-location sharing in relationships.

omedian, actress, and podcaster Elle Orlando joins Emma for an episode that goes everywhere. They start with the anxiety symptom no one talks about — excessive yawning — and somehow end up explaining the double-slit experiment. Elle breaks down the four-day healing retreat led by her dad's girlfriend (a self-taught spiritual healer who studied with Tibetan monks), the finger muscle-testing technique that supposedly makes your body answer questions honestly, and her theory that every possible version of your life is happening in a parallel dimension right now. They also get into aging parents who quietly start depending on their kids, the ick of dating a guy with major Long Island "hey girl" energy, and how Elle cured her anger problem by replacing it with world-class pettiness. Plus: ADHD and Vyvanse shame, growing up dyslexic and getting shuffled into special ed, and an Am I the Asshole deep dive about a mom who hid her daughter's childhood ADHD diagnosis for over a decade.

Comedian Akeem Woods joins Emma Willmann for a hilarious and surprisingly deep conversation about gay hookup culture, getting catfished, and what it really means to code switch as a queer person of color. Akeem opens up about growing up closeted in Florida, fabricating a fake girlfriend named Kiana on Facebook, and the moment he finally came out at 25. Emma shares her own unforgettable Craigslist catfish story involving a "supermodel" and a 7-Eleven in Queens — and yes, it ends exactly how you'd expect. They also dig into the heated rivalry around the show 'Rivals' (yes, they watched it), the manosphere documentary and whether those guys are just deeply closeted, bottom-shaming inside the gay community, and why straight women at gay bars is a whole conversation we still need to have. This episode gets real about the exhaustion of never fully belonging in any one space — whether you're the only Black person in a queer room or the only queer person at the family cookout. Plus: top, bottom, or versatile? The discourse is alive and well. Funny, honest, and genuinely moving in places — this one's a must-watch.

Emma Willmann sits down with comedian Ashley Austin Morris for an honest, hilarious deep-dive into life with ADHD — from shame spirals over undone dishes to hyperfocus mysteries, lost wallets, and thriving in total chaos. Ashley opens up about growing up in Texas housing projects, being pulled in and out of school, and never having ADHD formally explained to her — yet somehow always knowing her brain worked differently. Emma and Ashley bond over the peculiar ADHD gift of shining in a crisis (even one you personally created), the complicated feelings around medication, and why the early days of the pandemic felt like a bizarre relief. They also get into postpartum life, emergency C-sections, fighting with nurses on morphine, the surprisingly slow arrival of that "instant bond" with a newborn, and how having a baby can finally snap ADHD priorities into focus. Plus: a Reddit 'Am I the Asshole?' segment about an ADHD husband who is, in his wife's words, "a golden retriever with direct deposit." Check out Ashley Austin Morris at @AshAustinMorris on all platforms! If you relate to any of this — the lost wallets, the cabinet doors you need open, the hamsters you definitely did not mean to lose — drop a comment below. Subscribe so you never miss an episode of GAYDHD.

Molly Carney joins Emma Willmann on GAYDHD for one of the most relatable conversations we've had yet. From phone addiction and TikTok rabbit holes to ADHD cabinet doors left open forever — if you've ever spent 18 hours on your phone on a random Tuesday, this episode is for you. Molly opens up about growing up queer at a Catholic all-girls school, the stomach anxiety that came with being in the closet, and how therapy helped her build real tools to cope. She also shares her experience getting top surgery, dealing with unexpected health setbacks, and why every shirt she puts on now feels like a gift. Emma and Molly also get into the chaos of being neurodivergent performers — the social media pressure, the auditions that just don't feel right, and what it's like to be hyper-aware of how audiences perceive you. Plus, a wild Reddit 'Am I the Asshole' deep dive about a girlfriend who talks to her car like it's a person named Angie. This episode goes everywhere: Vyvanse vs. Adderall, sex robots that just say 'good job,' Justin Bieber, Seinfeld's gay subtext, and why Molly wants to be a stagehand for JB more than a backup dancer.

Small talk is harder than it looks — and a cruise ship is the worst place to figure that out. Emma Willmann just got back from performing comedy on a cruise and came home with one big realization: she's lost the ability to have a normal short-form interaction with another human being. From blurting "I'm not a prostitute" to a stranger at the breakfast buffet, to derailing elevator conversations with true crime documentaries about people going feral on ships, Emma breaks down exactly how and why small talk goes wrong — and why it actually matters that we get it right. This episode covers the real reason small talk exists (spoiler: it's about making people feel safe), what it means to vibe-match, why jumping straight to existential dread is not the move, and how a deceased friend's rigorous honesty in early sobriety helped Emma finally understand the concept of "giving people somewhere to go" in a conversation.

Welcome to GAYDHD with Emma Willmann! This week I sit down with Jordan Jensen and we go deep on the real experience of intrusive thoughts (yes, including the ones that terrify you), what it's actually like managing OCD with exposure therapy and Prozac, and why sleeping 10 hours still feels like a hangover. We also get into under-eye fillers, tummy tucks, and what happened when a cosmetic clinic basically told me to go home because I didn't need anything done. If you've ever punched a car, said the wrong thing at the worst possible moment, or convinced yourself you're allergic to pineapple — this one's for you. See me live: https://www.bandsintown.com/a/10807299-emma-willmann ✅ Stay Connected With Me. 👉Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EmmaWillmannComedy/ 👉Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/emmawillmann 👉Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamemmawillmann 👉Twitter: https://twitter.com/iamemmawillmann