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Published by Hexpress Hotline
Hexpress Hotline is not your average 9-5. Between providing curses to unhappy couples and dealing with complaints, Circe has to deal with rival witches, the HR department, and cats predicting the end of the world... wait, what?
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The team dodges an unwanted caller. Circe helps someone grow up. Printers for sale! Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. Credits: CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Ella Harding as Brendan Morgan Greensmith as The Baron Tia Vincent as Merlin Scott Shier as Caller 18 Will Noakes as Caller 19 Will Kennett as Caller 19's Partner Joe Mayo as The Answerphone This episode was written by Tia Vincent with additional material by the creators. It was edited by Tia Vincent with sound design by Tia Vincent and CS Smith. You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: existentialism. TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
Circe messes with memory. Brendan messes with baking tips. Rose makes a mess. Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. Credits: CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Amy Howlett as Rose Ella Harding as Brendan Morgan Greensmith as The Baron Madi Opincaru as Caller 15 Emily Hayhoe as Caller 16 Eleanor Holder as Caller 16's Partner Michael Blunder as Caller 17 Paul Warren as Caller 17's Partner Joe Mayo as The Answerphone This episode was written by Ella Harding with additional material by the creators. It was edited by Tia Vincent and CS Smith, with sound design by CS Smith. You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: memory loss, mild violence, existentialism. TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
The hotline struggles with prank callers. Merlin has some complaints. Poetry will occur (threat). Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. Credits: CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Morgan Greensmith as The Baron Tia Vincent as Merlin Lewis Vincent as Caller 13 Sei as Caller 14 Vicky Broomhead as Caller 14's Partner This episode was written by Tia Vincent, with additional material by the creators. It was edited by Tia Vincent, with sound design by Caitlin Smith. You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: implied harm of children TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
Rose experiences the breakroom. Delilah has lunch. The floor is lava. Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. Credits: CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Amy Howlett as Rose Ella Harding as Brendan Tia Vincent as Merlin Jen Austen as Caller 11 Eden Sinclair as Caller 12 Joe Mayo as The Answerphone This episode was written and edited by Tia Vincent, with additional material by the creators. You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: destruction of property and housing, fire, descriptions of hoarding, mentions of eviction. TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
A new hire joins the Call Centre. Circe rocks some socks. Crimes against salt lamps are committed. Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. Amy Howlett as Rose Ella Harding as Brendan Crumble CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Morgan Greensmith as The Baron ZuZu LeFou as Caller 4 Eirrin Slattery as Caller 8 Will Noakes as Caller 9 Joe Mayo as The Answerphone This episode was written by Ella Harding, with additional material by the creators. It was edited by CS Smith You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: sex references, existentialism TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
Circe struggles with an unsatisfied customer. Delilah takes a break. The Baron chases a mouse. Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. CS Smith as Circe LM Clohessy as Delilah Morgan Greensmith as The Baron Will Noakes as Caller 5 Stanley Holder as Caller 6 Flossy Hardy as Caller 6’s Girlfriend And Andrew Gorman as Caller 7 The episode was edited by CS Smith You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains: reference to parent death and murder, therapy, existential dread, depiction of body horror, and a cat hunting mice. SFX: Screams, mice, chewing. TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
Circe tackles a successful day of cursing, from cheating partners to rude exes. Brendan delivers a package. The Baron contemplates life. Hexpress Hotline is a podcast created by Morgan Greensmith, Ella Harding, CS Smith, and Tia Vincent. In this episode you heard: CS Smith as Circe Ella Harding as Brendan Crumble Morgan Greensmith as The Baron Andrew Gorman as Caller 1 Amber Jones as Caller 2 Pietro Spicer as Caller 3 Michelle Goff as Caller 3’s Partner ZuZu LeFou as Caller 4 Joe Mayo as the Answerphone The episode was edited by Tia Vincent, with sound design by CS Smith You can find us on wherever you get your doomscrolling @HexpressHotline or email us at HexpressHotline@gmail.com CONTENT WARNINGS: Hexpress Hotline often contains elements of horror in a lighthearted or comedic context. This episode contains descriptions of mild body horror, breaking and entering, leeches, mentions of missing parent, existentialism, screaming, cheating, vomit. SFX: Breaking glass, leeches, screaming, vomiting. TRANSCRIPT Happy Hexing!
"HexpressHotlineAdCampaign_final_final_2.mp4" Transcript here Credits: Circe - CS Smith Brendan - Ella Harding Delilah - LM Clohessy Voiceover - Blythe White Written by Ella Harding and edited by Ella Harding and CS Smith @HexpressHotline wherever you get your doomscrolling
[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.] DELILAH: Yello, this is Delilah, putting the "hot" in Hexpress Hotline. I'm a very busy person, with lots of interesting hobbies, and a life outside of work, so there's a pretty good chance I'm not at the phone right now. [BREATH.] Maybe try Circe instead? I am the better hexer, though, so if you're really insistent on a spell from yours truly, leave a message after the tone, and if it's interesting , I'll- get back to you? Maybe. Don't bet on it. [PHONE BEEP.] *** Voiced by L. M. Clohessy Created by C. S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding
[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.] [BREATH.] BRENDAN: Uh... hello...? This is Brendan Crumble with Hexpress Hotline. I am HR. If- you're calling about Delilah, we've- we're very sorry. Uh, I'm afraid we're no longer accepting job applications, so please do not forward us your CV. (We have so many, they're all piling up.) Uh, and also, we- we make it very clear in our terms and conditions that all spells are non-returnable, non-refundable and non-negotiable. If you're really insistent on talking about Delilah, press one. Oh, oh no, I think- uh, I think Circe's coming, uh, I've got to get off the phone before she sees me, thank you for calling us, uh, we're always here- [PHONE BEEP.] *** Voiced by Ella Harding Created by C. S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding
[PHONE RINGING. VOICEMAIL BEEP.] CIRCE: Hi, this is Circe with Hexpress Hotline. Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. I am always at my desk, so something must be really wrong for me to miss your call. Perhaps Brendan dropped the leeches again. It happens more often than you'd think. Uh, unless this is a government official phoning, uh, in which case that has never happened. [BREATH.] Anyway. Please leave your message after the tone and I will get back to you as soon as I can. [VOICEMAIL BEEP.] *** Voiced by C. S. Smith Created by C.S. Smith, Tia Vincent, Morgan Greensmith & Ella Harding
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