Unstoppable Athlete - Mental Resilience for Teen Athletes

What if making more mistakes is actually the fastest way to become a better athlete? Fresh off a week of volleyball camp, Sarah and Michelle reflect on what they saw in the gym—from young athletes learning new skills and navigating frustration to older players stepping into leadership roles. They explore why adaptability, coachability, intentional practice, and the ability to recover quickly from mistakes matter just as much as technical skill. They also challenge parents to resist fixing every uncomfortable experience and instead help their athletes problem-solve, take risks, accept feedback, and keep showing up when something feels hard. Because the goal isn’t to raise athletes who never struggle—it’s to raise young people who know what to do when they do. Top 3 Takeaways Do hard things! Those who recover from mistakes quickest will experience more success Being focused on you is normal and your feelings are real - the lesson is to help your athlete redirect those feelings into things they can control.

Tryouts aren’t just about how well you play—they’re about how you show up. In this quick episode, Sara and Michelle break down what athletes can do in the weeks leading up to tryouts to arrive physically and mentally prepared. From building volleyball-specific fitness, improving recovery, addressing lingering injuries, and getting sleep, nutrition, and hydration back on track, to setting goals and preparing for nerves, they share the things coaches actually notice. Most importantly, they remind athletes that coaches aren’t looking for perfection—they’re watching how you respond to mistakes, interact with teammates, take responsibility, and bring consistent effort. When tryouts arrive, focus on what you can control: your attitude, your effort, and your serve. Top 3 Takeaways Get your body ready - sleep, nutrition, movement Attitude and Effort - the things you can control Self talk - I’m here to make this team

When your athlete is frustrated about playing time, confidence, or a coach’s decisions, it’s tempting to step in and fix the problem—but that may not be what they need. In this episode, Sara and Michelle tackle five things parents should think twice about saying to coaches and explore a more productive approach to navigating the parent–coach–athlete relationship. From taking an honest look at attitude and effort to avoiding sideline criticism, encouraging athletes to advocate for themselves, and focusing on solutions instead of blame, they discuss how parents can turn difficult sports moments into opportunities for resilience, accountability, independence, and character. Because sometimes the most powerful thing a parent can do isn’t fix the situation—it’s show up, support their athlete, and help them learn how to handle it. Top 3 Takeaways Is your athlete sharing an accurate reflection of their attitude and effort with you? And with themselves? Be a great example! And cautious about how you talk about the coach, team, teachers, etc. around your child. Solution focused. Not excuses, not blame. Bring to your coach your concerns in a way that seeks a solution to help meet their athlete and use the challenge as an opportunity to teach some life skills.

What happens when the person driving you to practice is also the one running it? In this special roundtable discussion, Michelle sits down with three athletes—Callie, Emmy, and Jena—to explore the unique experience of being coached by their mothers. The athletes share honest insights about receiving feedback from a parent, navigating the blurred lines between coach and family, dealing with teammates’ perceptions, and learning to separate volleyball conversations from everyday life. While they acknowledge the challenges of heightened expectations and constant proximity, they also reveal the deep gratitude they feel for the time, commitment, and opportunities their moms have provided. Ultimately, the conversation highlights how parent-coach relationships, when built on communication, patience, and mutual respect, can strengthen both athletic development and family bonds. Top 3 Takeaways The hardest part isn't the coaching—it's separating "Mom" from "Coach." Parent-coaches often push their own children the hardest. Communication and boundaries make all the difference. "If you wouldn't say it to another player, don't say it to your kid." — a powerful lesson that emerged from the discussion and a reminder for parent-coaches striving to balance accountability with empathy.

Fresh off a weekend of graduations, Sara and Michelle reflect on the relationships, life lessons, and lasting impact that sports can have on young athletes. What begins as an emotional conversation about watching their athletes step into adulthood evolves into a powerful discussion about what truly makes a great coach. From caring about athletes beyond their performance and teaching accountability, to developing every player—not just the stars—and helping young people build confidence, resilience, and character, this episode explores why the best coaches shape lives far beyond the court. Whether you're a coach, parent, or athlete, this conversation is a reminder that the scoreboard fades, but the lessons, relationships, and personal growth remain. Top 3 Takeaways Not about the volleyball - relationships, teaching life skills through sport Accountability Matching commitment - is your athlete meeting the opportunities the coach is providing

Many well-meaning parents and coaches believe confidence comes from praise, but confidence is actually built through effort, growth, and overcoming challenges. In this episode, Sara and Michelle explore the difference between empty praise and meaningful feedback, and why constantly telling athletes they’re amazing can sometimes undermine their development. Instead, they discuss how to recognize and reward the behaviors that truly matter—showing up consistently, embracing hard work, learning from mistakes, and responding to setbacks with resilience. By shifting the focus from outcomes and natural talent to effort and growth, parents and coaches can help athletes develop authentic confidence, stronger self-talk, and the belief that success is something they can create through their actions rather than something they either have or don't have. Inspired by lessons from successful athletes and teams, this conversation offers practical ways to foster a growth mindset that supports both performance and personal development. Top 3 Takeaways Praise attitude and effort to create growth mindset Inquire with your athletes to guide them how to excel in the role they have Let go of bad days and keep out of the perfectionist mindset

Fresh off what may be her final Nationals as a youth volleyball coach, Sara reflects with Michelle on the lessons that mattered most—not the wins and losses, but the growth, resilience, and relationships built along the way. They discuss how controlling attitude and energy as coaches shaped their athletes’ experience, why fun and team culture matter more than the scoreboard, and how sport continues to teach life skills that extend far beyond the court. From overcoming adversity and embracing growth to finding your people and developing a lifelong love of sport, this episode is a heartfelt reflection on what success really looks like when the season comes to an end. Top 3 Takeaways As coaches we have to control our attitude and energy while holding the vision of what the team and the players can be Life skills from sport! Find your people and do hard things Lifelong love of sport is the real goal. While school is 3-6yr of playing, Michelle has had over 20+ years of adult sport BONUS - its all about the relationships

In this episode, Sara and Michelle explore the tender and tricky stage of adolescence, when teen girls naturally begin pulling away from their mothers while forming their own identities. Through the lens of coaching 12- to 16-year-old athletes, they discuss why girls need strong adult women outside their family, how sport provides healthy role models and peer examples, and why parents need to guide—not “lawnmow”—their kids through discomfort. For parents, this conversation is a reassuring reminder that the push-pull of the teen years is normal, and that teams, coaches, captains, and trusted adults can help girls build independence, confidence, communication skills, and resilience. Top 3 Takeaways Pulling away is developmentally appropriate, as a mom we can hold space to allow this process Healthy role models, like your athletes female coach, team mom and older team mates can be very valuable Supporting our children through the challenging times when things may not be going their way, acknowledging the emotion but allowing them to find their own ways through

In this episode, Sara and Michelle unpack a provincial silver medal weekend that became a powerful lesson in team culture, resilience, and competitive maturity. Sara reflects on a group of athletes who had the team “rolling” together—competing hard, recovering quickly from mistakes, encouraging each other, and staying composed under pressure. The heart of the episode is a bench player’s reminder to her coach: “We want to win, and if us sitting on the bench is how that happens, don’t feel bad.” For parents, this is a valuable reframe around playing time, showing how athletes can understand roles, buy into a team plan, and still contribute through energy, readiness, and support. Top 3 Takeaways Three steps of reflection for provincials Who do I choose to be out there? What does my best look like today? How do I bounce back? Players want to win - even if it means sitting on the bench (in high stakes games) Execution (physical) vs mental errors

In this episode, Sara and Michelle start with a conversation about travel, discomfort, and the value of being open to unplanned experiences, using Sara’s upcoming trip to Vietnam with her daughter as a metaphor for growth. That reflection leads naturally into a bigger conversation about coachability: the willingness to stay open, adaptable, and teachable even when things feel uncomfortable. They explain that coachable athletes are the ones who listen fully, respond without defensiveness, try new techniques even when it feels awkward, and show they are eager to improve. Through tryout stories, team examples, and practical advice, they show that coachability is not something you either have or do not have—it is a skill that can be learned, and it matters not just in volleyball, but in school, work, and life. Top 3 Takeaways Coachability is a skill you can learn Take it personally. You are valued and your coach is willing to invest in you. Confidence comes from being willing to be uncomfortable.

This conversation unpacks the tension between confidence and performance in youth sports, highlighting how many athletes wait for success to feel confident, when in reality confidence must come first to enable strong play. Through reflections on volleyball and hockey experiences, the coaches explore how mindset, team culture, and coaching decisions (especially around playing time and competition) shape both individual development and team outcomes. They also surface a deeper truth: sport is a microcosm of life—where confidence, resilience, and self-belief are learned through experience, reinforced by environment, and tested under pressure. Top 3 Takeaways It depends. Experience as a role player or playing all the time. Team belonging matters. Embrace what we are good at and accept the compliment. Parent perspectives on playing time. For every player at the bottom worried about not playing, how is it for the players at the top. If my kid plays will it hurt the team? And is this a year as a parent I can help them learn to manage the disappointment in not always playing to develop for when they get their turn to shine?

In this episode, Sara and Michelle unpack one of the toughest parts of youth girls volleyball: balancing playing time, confidence, fairness, and team success. Drawing on real tournament experiences, they explore why coaching decisions are rarely simple, how athletes earn roles through practice, and why coming off the bench can feel so emotionally difficult for girls. The conversation also highlights the value of consistency, adaptability, and team-first thinking, reminding both parents and players that growth does not always look flashy. This is a thoughtful, honest episode for volleyball families trying to better understand the dynamics behind court time, confidence, and what it really means to support player development. Top 3 Takeaways Take a moment to reflect how far a player has come Playing time is a dynamic thing, understanding this can go a long way to answer the question - what do I need to do to get on the court? Do the best by most - as a team sport there are a lot of lessons that can be learned by expanding in your role even if its on the bench

The drive home after a game is one of the most powerful moments in your athlete’s week. Emotions are high. Identity feels fragile. And what you say — even casually — can either build resilience or quietly chip away at confidence. When parents criticize coaches, compare teammates, or overanalyze performance, girls often internalize it as pressure or inadequacy. But when we shift the conversation toward ownership, team celebration, and personal growth, the car ride becomes a confidence-building ritual. The goal isn’t to ignore mistakes. It’s to create a culture where athletes can celebrate others without feeling diminished, acknowledge their own strengths without shame, and take responsibility without spiraling. Top 3 Takeaways 1. Focus on the good in others - service mindset Build a mindset where someone else’s success expands the team and let them know! 2. Be a great role model Learn to accept compliments. 3. Work with what we’ve got - own your role and excel Appreciate the skills you have.

Sara’s long time friend, and former teammate, Kim is the mom of Sadie and shares about the experience of allowing her daughter to figure it out through her challenges. Key learnings of doing your due diligence, but also to allow them to figure it out while continuing an ongoing conversation of what is in your childs control. The family moto of maintaining - PMA -positive mental attitude was essential. As a former college volleyball player herself, Kim also reminded Sadie she could control her attitude and her serve. Mom’s pride was evident as Kim shared that Sadies work ethic was the key for creating the opportunity to play beyond high school and that she was a “Swiss Army Knife”, able to fill any role the team needed. Finally, parents can support their athletes by creating ongoing conversation and safety at home when athletes need to fall apart a little in order to put themselves back together and show up for their team as a leader.

Sara has a chat with Sadie about a pretty bumpy first two years playing US college volleyball. When a coach turns “bad” how to do you stick it out or decide to change plans. Learning who you are without volleyball. And staying optimistic to move schools and bring your lessons from the challenge to your teammates as this new team struggles to find a few wins. Sadie maintained grateful for the struggle as she knew she could keep a positive outlook and reinforced that she can handle hard things. Her mindset was the big deal as focused on what she could control - her Attitude and Effort!

As a parent we can rush to protective mode, but can we get curious first? Asking our athletes questions to help them self-reflect. What is the coaching looking for from you? Skill or effort wise? Are you clear where you might not be meeting expectations? Are there things the coach has communicated that you are working on? And if not can you approach the coach to ask? Where did you show up in support of your teammate? What was the play that you did that allowed your teammate to be successful? Michelle and Sara also discuss how coaches can have a bias? Sometimes positive and sometimes in ways that don’t support the athlete. When athletes take responsibility for their growth, it can help address these and help the coach become aware where they may be unintentionally missing in how to create a supportive environment that fits this athletes needs. Confidence is a skill that comes from within. Having courage to try and make mistakes in order to learn while feeling support. What happens when a player is feeling that “the coach doesn’t like me!” Girls often look for the support externally first instead of internally and dwell on mistakes. Michelle recommends this book on confidence - The Confidence Code by Katty Kay Be willing to make mistakes and grow from there. It is okay to be a beginner! And not everyone is the best player on the team, every role is important. Be the best you that you can be. Understand that there is strategy that you not playing may not be about you at all, more about team flow or someone else having a great game. Socializing that failure as the place you need to go if you want to improve. Staying safe and not making mistakes will not lead you to grow. Also “saying I’m no good” is an excuse to not be vulnerable, or to be willing to try and maybe get it wrong. Be a problem solved instead of attention seeker. Top 3 Take Aways Athletes - be solution focused! Approach your coach with curiosity and ask “What do I need to work on?” Watch game tape and find wins to celebrate but also something specific you can work on. If you don’t know - ASK! Have self-compassion. Be kind and forgiving (like you would be with a friend). Having courage to develop confidence requires that you give yourself a chance. Use the tool of Self- reflection. Review game tape with a mission to find your successes and also pick one thing to work on from a positive light. Not "I wasn't good at that” but what was I missing to allow me to succeed? Before believing that you aren’t good enough, ask is that true? (From Byron Katie https://thework.com/2017/10/four-liberating-questions/) Is it true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? How do you react when you believe that thought? Who would you be without the thought? Visit ⁠www.skool.com/unstoppable2026⁠ to join our community, watch the Parent Intro Video, join a workshop or have your athlete on our waitlist for upcoming Unstoppable Athlete Program offerings.

Sara and Michelle turn their camera on while they debrief from the past weekend. A few themes came up around team dynamics and the potential appearance of mean girl behaviour. What can parents and coaches do about it and what can an athlete recognize as her own responsibility in team relationships? Attitude and Energy are what you are in control of. Connecting with teammates doesn’t mean you need to be besties with everyone but it does mean leading with kindness and respect. Team culture of playing for each other and making the people around you better, vs playing for yourself will payoff on and off the court. Giving shout outs! Parents - be aware if it might be your daughter engaging in mean girl behaviour. - Ask the coach how to help with bonding; mixing up who drives with who, team dinners, crafting clips or bag tags - ask questions and be curious if they are complaining about another Help them reflect and look deeper, how is it for the other person What part can they own? Top 3 Take Aways Team culture - a focus on kindness and respect on and OFF the court Parents - recognize your role and ask questions. Also create situations for all to mingle. Players - self reflection, how are you showing up? Visit ⁠www.skool.com/unstoppable2026⁠ to join our community, watch the Parent Intro Video, join a workshop or have your athlete on our waitlist for upcoming Unstoppable Athlete Program offerings.

Sara has a question for Michelle about when players choose to quit playing. What can we do as coaches, and what part can the athletes take responsibility for? Top 3 Take Aways Coaches care a lot but we can’t be everything to everyone. Parents are biased in their expectations and coaches can have a strong boundary to not take on coaching advice from these parents. Find your support with others who are on the field (or the court). Mastermind with coaches support - coming soon to our Skool community! Communicate our plans and expectations to the athletes often. And athletes if you are uncertain about your role - ASK! Visit ⁠www.skool.com/unstoppable2026⁠ to join our community, watch the Parent Intro Video, join a workshop or have your athlete on our waitlist for upcoming Unstoppable Athlete Program offerings.

Michelle shares her key takeaways from the Empower Her Sport Summit she attended in Calgary, Canada this past weekend. https://www.empowerhersportsummit.com/ Visit www.skool.com/unstoppable2026 to join our community, watch the Parent Intro Video, join a workshop or have your athlete on our waitlist for upcoming Unstoppable Athlete Program offerings.

Develop the habit of goal setting. Start by writing them down. This will give you a map of where you want to go and also helps you keep your intention and motivations clear. You will build confidence as your stick to your plan, and can also notice when you might need some problem solving to get you back on track. Start with performance goals - This is what you want to achieve, include both sport, school, relationships… Then move to process goals - there are the efforts, habits and behaviours you can control and need to engage in on a daily basis to move you towards you goals. Make them measurable. Find an accountability buddy who can support you. And each night do a quick reflection of how today went, maybe a score from 1-10, or a celebration of something you did, or an area you can dial up tomorrow. Top 3 Take Aways Process AND performance goals Reflection - follow up each day with how things went Accountability - enroll someone in the version of yourself that you want to be Visit skool.com/unstoppable2026 to join our community, watch the Parent Intro Video, join a workshop or have your athlete on our waitlist for upcoming Unstoppable Athlete Program offerings.