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Published by Jubilee Dawn
Welcome to Healed-ish! A podcast about the messy, beautiful, and sometimes insane process of healing. Each week, host Jubilee Dawn (@jubileedawns) sits down with survivors of betrayal, religious trauma, catfishing, toxic relationships, and more to unpack the chaos and growth that comes with starting over. These are the stories people don’t always tell — honest, raw, a little funny, and fully human.
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Cringe Book Club has officially arrived to Healed-ish! If you’ve seen the series on my TikTok, you know where this is going: we’re revisiting the Christian books that shaped how many of us thought about faith, relationships, gender, sex, and ourselves, and asking... what exactly were we reading?! Abigail & I are kicking things off with Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge, the bestselling Christian book that taught a generation of women that our deepest desires are to be romanced, play an irreplaceable role in a great adventure, and unveil our beauty. From gender roles and purity culture to beauty, marriage, trauma, and what it supposedly means to be a woman, we’re going back through it all with fresh eyes. - Abigail’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/fabigailinsta/ Abigail’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@fabigail11 Readirect Podcast: https://www.readirectpodcast.com - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Melissa Duge Spiers grew up Seventh-day Adventist in a world shaped by strict rules, purity culture, and expectations of what it meant to be a good Christian woman. We talk about Ellen G. White and the beginnings of the Seventh-day Adventist Church, Melissa’s rebellion and eventual separation from her upbringing, and the devastating truth she later learned about her father. Melissa is the author of Holy Disobedience , a memoir about breaking free from harmful religious expectations and finding healing on the other side. - Melissa’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/the.glory.whole/ Holy Disobedience: https://www.lakedrivebooks.com/books/holy-disobedience Melissa’s Substack: https://substack.com/@melissadugespiers - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Youth camp was Ellie’s happy place. She made memories with friends, had powerful emotional experiences, and led worship. But after getting involved in a megachurch, she began seeing what happened behind the scenes and what happened when she started asking honest questions. Ellie shares her journey from church camps and megachurch culture to leaving, deconstructing, finding freedom, and healing out loud online. @Ellieunbound-Ellie’s Tiktok: / ellieunbound Ellie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/ellieunboun... Ellie’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/ellieunbound -Patreon: / healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: / jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: / jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: / healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: / healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
CW: Domestic Violence, Sexual Abuse, and Discussion of Suicide After many requests to talk about Mica Miller's story and Netflix's Death of the Pastor's Wife , Rihanna (@thediaryofrihanna) joins me to unpack the case and the troubling dynamics surrounding Mica's marriage to pastor JP Miller. With a significant age gap, domestic violence and religious abuse, and the fact that JP was once Mica's youth pastor, there are parts of her story that hit incredibly close to home for me. We talk about the power dynamics in their relationship, the ways scripture and evangelical teachings can be weaponized against women, and the systems that can make it harder to recognize abuse or leave it. We also discuss why stories like Mica's deserve to be talked about, and what needs to change within religious communities to better protect vulnerable people. - Rihanna’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thediaryofrihanna Rihanna’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thediaryofrihanna/?hl=en Rihanna’s Book: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GYFK8HMH - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez had a passion for ministry, but after a trusted youth pastor discovered his internet search history, he was shamed and forced to leave his church. Desperate to change his sexuality, Timothy dove headfirst into conversion therapy through Exodus International, learning how to “act straight” and searching for the supposed wound that made him gay. He also shares what it was like working with major ministries like Hillsong, where his talents were welcomed as long as his sexuality stayed hidden. Now, Timothy is out, happy, and the author of Conversion Therapy Dropout . We talk about conversion therapy, working with major ministries, coming out, and finding freedom on the other side. - Timothy’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/timothy.s.rodriguez/ Timothy’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/timothy.s.rodriguez - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
What happens when you've been taught not to trust your own body? Somatic therapist Samantha (@spiritualembodiment) joins me to explore how purity culture, charismatic Christianity, and harmful messages about our bodies can disconnect us from ourselves. We discuss body shame, eating disorders, spiritual performance, and practical steps toward healing and learning to trust your body again. - Samantha's website: https://www.samantharedondotherapy.com/ Free discovery call: https://samantharedondotherapy.clientsecure.me Social:IG: @spiritualembodiment Youtube: @SamanthaRedondoTherapy
Rebecca grew up afraid of hell, the rapture, and stepping outside of God’s plan. From the pressure to remain pure to a pastor refusing to marry her after she “fell into sin,” shame shaped some of her biggest life decisions. Years later, she discovered the Christian man she trusted had been living a double life that put her and her children in an unsafe situation. We talk about purity, charismatic Christianity, deconstruction, and Rebecca’s journey to untangle what she was taught from what she actually believes. Today, she serves on the board of The New Evangelicals , working to help create healthier spaces for people navigating faith and deconstruction. -
Part 2 of 2 CW: sexual assault Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a burlesque dancer, Katie also found herself caught in a coercive relationship with an older, powerful man. Katie joins me to talk about charismatic Christianity, her connection to Shawn Bolz’s church, leaving purity behind, surviving abuse, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. - Katie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiejstone91 Katie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/katiejstone91/ Why I Dance -- The documentary short film showing pole dance as reclamation: https://vimeo.com/119494981 - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 1 of 2 CW: sexual assault Katie Stone spent her teenage years trying to be the perfect Christian girl, learning to cover herself up, follow the rules, and trust spiritual authority over her own intuition. After leaving the church and pursuing her dreams in Hollywood, she found that the two worlds weren’t always as different as they seemed. As she explored her sexuality and eventually became a burlesque dancer, Katie also found herself caught in a coercive relationship with an older, powerful man. Katie joins me to talk about charismatic Christianity, her connection to Shawn Bolz’s church, leaving purity behind, surviving abuse, and the long process of learning to trust herself again. - Katie’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@katiejstone91 Katie’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/katiejstone91/ Why I Dance -- The documentary short film showing pole dance as reclamation: https://vimeo.com/119494981 - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Welcome to the first Friday Drop! Every other Friday, I'll be bringing you conversations, behind-the-scenes stories, and bonus episodes. To kick things off, I'm joined by Jeremy (@skeptic.pastor), a former youth pastor, to swap stories about the absolutely unhinged things that happened in evangelical youth groups. From bizarre games to awkward church culture moments, we revisit the insanity. - Jeremy’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@skeptic.pastor Jeremy’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/skeptic.pastor/ Jeremy’s Podcast: https://unbeliefpodcast.com/ - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 2 of 2 This week, I'm joined by Ciarra, also known as The Gardening Theologian. Raised in a conservative Christian environment, Ciarra learned early to suppress her queer identity and accept the version of God she had been given. But after attending Berkeley, Harvard Divinity School, studying theology, and wrestling with difficult questions, everything changed. In this episode, we talk about liberation theology, queer identity, white supremacy in the church, and what it looks like to rebuild your spirituality after realizing the image of God you inherited wasn't the only one available. - Ciarra’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegardeningtheologian Ciarra’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thegardeningtheologian/ Ciarra Jones Consulting: https://ciarrajonesconsulting.com/ Ciarra’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/thegardeningtheologian - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Part 1 of 2 This week, I'm joined by Ciarra, also known as The Gardening Theologian. Raised in a conservative Christian environment, Ciarra learned early to suppress her queer identity and accept the version of God she had been given. But after attending Berkeley, Harvard Divinity School, studying theology, and wrestling with difficult questions, everything changed.In this episode, we talk about liberation theology, queer identity, white supremacy in the church, and what it looks like to rebuild your spirituality after realizing the image of God you inherited wasn't the only one available. - Ciarra’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thegardeningtheologian Ciarra’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thegardeningtheologian/ Ciarra Jones Consulting: https://ciarrajonesconsulting.com/ Ciarra’s Linktree: https://linktr.ee/thegardeningtheologian - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
After taking a break from college, Hannah joined Youth With A Mission (YWAM), where she immersed herself in charismatic Christianity. In this episode, she shares what that environment was actually like. Speaking in tongues, faith healing, evangelism, and pressure to prove your faith through increasingly bizarre acts ... .including the time someone spit in her eyes in an attempt to heal her eyesight. Later, Hannah joined Shawn Bolz's church, Expression58. l Looking back, she reflects on prophetic culture, unmet expectations, and the slow process of deconstructing her faith while building a life rooted in authenticity instead of performance. - Hannah’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/hannahhigerd/ - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Jeff was raised in an Amish household before his family joined the Mennonite church. Years later, he found himself at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, hoping for a different kind of faith. Instead, his time there became the beginning of his deconstruction and his journey toward accepting himself. We talk about purity culture, being gay in conservative Christianity, Bethel, and the unexpected path that led him to healing - Jeffrey’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jeffreygingerich Jeffrey’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jeffreygingerich_/ - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Jordan Rainer ( The Voice , Team Reba) joins me to share her journey from Southern Baptist purity culture to deconstruction. We talk about suppressing feelings, navigating a difficult marriage shaped by church advice, choosing divorce, coming out, and rebuilding relationships after leaving her faith. She also shares how she is telling her story through her newest music. - Jordan’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thejordanrainer Jordan’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thejordanrainer Jordan Rainer’s Newest Album: https://jordanrainer.bandcamp.com/album/the-outlaw-revival - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
*CW* emotional abuse, suicidal ideation, parentification Shelly grew up believing that every hardship had a spiritual explanation. After her parents' dramatic conversion to Christianity, they were convinced that her health problems were punishment for her mother's past, and later blamed Shelly's own suffering on her sin. As she navigated parentification, the loss of her brother after he was kicked out, and eventually a high-control ministry she had to secretly flee, Shelly spent years trying to earn love that always seemed conditional. In this episode, we talk about religious trauma, deconstruction, chronic illness, high control ministries, setting boundaries with family, and why going no contact ultimately became the healthiest decision she ever made. - Shelly’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/thetangledandtrue/ Shelly’s Substack: https://thetangledandtrue.substack.com/ - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Promise, known as Eve Was Framed, was raised in charismatic Christianity where speaking in tongues, prophecy, mission trips, and supernatural experiences were a normal part of life. She eventually attended Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry (BSSM) and expected her faith to continue growing. But when Promise began studying the Bible more deeply in hopes of answering questions from her atheist friends, she instead found herself wrestling with passages and beliefs that no longer made sense to her. In this episode, we discuss charismatic Christianity, BSSM, deconstruction, becoming an atheist, and her new book, Gospel of Lies. We also talk about what it looks like to walk away from toxic beliefs while helping others navigate their own deconstruction journeys. - Promise’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@eve_wasframed Promise’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/eve_wasframed Gospel of Lies: https://medialabbooks.com/products/9781964487557_gospel-of-lies - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Carley grew up as the daughter of a youth pastor and has many fond memories of church, faith, and family. But when she was young, her parents sat her down and told her that her father had an emotional affair and would be leaving the church. Little else was said, and life moved on. Years later, Carley discovered that the truth was far more complicated. In this episode, she shares what it was like to uncover that her father had groomed and been inappropriate with a minor for years, the difficult conversations that followed, and how speaking with the victim changed her understanding of her family's story. - Carley’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@carleyymae Carley’s Photography: https://www.instagram.com/carleymaephotography/?hl=en - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Did purity culture leave you with more questions than answers about your body? In this episode, I sit down with Azriél Patricia and Dr. Ashley Jeanius for an honest conversation about women's health, anatomy, and all the things many of us were never taught. We discuss purity culture's obsession with hymens, debunk myths about virginity, explore birth control options, break down the menstrual cycle and hormones, and talk about how painful a period should actually be. Whether you grew up in purity culture or simply missed out on comprehensive sex education, this episode is full of practical information and healing. - Azriél ’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/azrielpatricia/ Azriél ’s Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@azrielpatricia Dr. Ashley Jeanius’ IG: https://www.instagram.com/drjeanius/ Dr. Ashley Jeanius’ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drjeanius - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
Bailee was raised as a pastor's kid in the Pentecostal church, where speaking in tongues, prophecies, and miraculous healing were part of everyday life. She was taught that God always wants to heal, so when her father was diagnosed with cancer, her family fully expected a miracle. After he passed away, she began to question some of the beliefs she had been taught. In this episode, we talk about growing up in the Word of Faith movement, the lasting impact of teachings on hell, her time at IHOP and Oral Roberts University, and what it looks like to embrace curiosity after years of having all the answers. Today, Bailee is the co-host of Praise Be To Pod, where she continues exploring religion, doubt, and deconstruction. - Resources for embodiment - Cole Arthur Riley: https://www.instagram.com/colearthurriley/?hl=en - My Grandmother’s Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies by Resmaa Menakem - Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates Resource for progressive christianity / deconstruction - Kristian Smith: https://www.instagram.com/thekristianasmith/?hl=en - Bailee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/paynebailee/ Praise Be To Pod: https://open.spotify.com/show/3XkmQGWnGRq7SalxjjtOmD Praise Be To Pod IG: https://www.instagram.com/praisebetopod/ Praise Be To Pod Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@praisebetopod - Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/Healedish Follow for more: Jubilee’s TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jubileedawns Jubilee’s IG: https://www.instagram.com/jubileedawns Healed-ish TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@healedishpodcast Healed-ish IG: https://www.instagram.com/healedishpodcast Apply To Share Your Story: https://forms.gle/23f8SPBX1VntsqUU8
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