WTF is AuDHD?

Trigger warning: this episode talks about self harm, as well as somber chats with regard to loss and grief that could be upsetting for some. In this episode, Ellie and Paige chat about grief and loss after a listener wrote in currently navigating grief as an AuDHDer. We speak about our own experiences with grief, "unhealthy" ways we dealt with it, and whether we think ADHD and autistic people have a harder time with grief compared to the general population. Ellie also brings a study that explores grief in different neurotypes ( Understanding the Neurodiversity of Grief, Mair et.al ). Join our Reddit to be part of the conversation Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our Mum Karen joins us again to share her experiences bringing on bringing us up as undiagnosed kids - and managing our Dad who was also undiagnosed - leading to an absolute mad-house! Mum opens up about what she'd do differently, how Dad's ADHD diagnosis kicked off a domino effect through the whole family, and what it's meant for her to watch us finally understand ourselves. She shares how tough it was trying to get help for Paige, getting no answers and Paige reflects on how those experiences impacted her and her self esteem. We get a little emotional in this one, and we hope it helps other families feel less alone. LINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Our beautiful Mum, Karen, joins Ellie and Paige for this week’s episode! We get to know her a little better, from what she was like growing up to her memories of raising two very different kids. We talk about what we were like at home vs. at school, just how different we were (literally chalk and cheese!), the things Mum noticed (and the things she didn’t) and why Ellie in particular managed to fly so far under the radar. And this is only part one! Next week, Mum joins us again to dive deeper into what, if anything, she would have done differently, how her perspective has changed since our diagnoses, and her experiences trying to support Paige and being dismissed by the medical system. Also, there's one week left to order your WTF Journal and be part of our Founding Member launch. Get yours here - wtfjournals.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, we continue our conversation with Kate Manihera (aka DJ "Sexy Kate") - a late-diagnosed autistic/ADHD content creator, model, and DJ based in Aotearoa, New Zealand. After years of high-masking and high-achieving - from beauty influencing to a corporate career in Māori cultural strategy and organisational development - Kate's diagnoses in her late 20s sparked a full life reset: leaving her job, working through burnout, and rebuilding her career around what actually lights her up. Kate talks about navigating previous romantic relationships and what she's learnt about herself since. She also discusses the Māori concepts of aroreretini (ADHD) and takiwātanga (autism), which reframe neurodivergence as difference rather than deficit. Follow her at @katemanihera on Instagram, or check out her DJ sets on SoundCloud . The pre-order window is still open to purchase one of our WTF Journals as well! https://wtfjournals.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On today's episode, Ellie and Paige speak with Kate Manihera - a New Zealand-based content creator, DJ, model, and former makeup artist/beauty YouTuber who was diagnosed with ADHD at 26 and autism at 27. Since her late diagnosis, she's brought awareness and education around late-diagnosed ADHD and autism through content creation, alongside her modelling and an emerging DJ career! Kate chats about how she came to diagnosis, misdiagnoses she received, socially struggling (but appearing capable), masking and bullying, and Kate also shares helpful insight into her medication journey. Kate is Māori (an indigenous person of Aotearoa/New Zealand), and therefore brings a perspective the podcast hasn't featured before. We chat about masking, burnout, being "too much" and misunderstood, and learning to unmask and trust her authentic self. Next week, Kate joins us again to chat about relationships, managing her life and career and gives more insight into the Māori definitions of Autism and ADHD. We're so grateful for Kate's time and kōrero (conversation) - if you want to follow Kate, follow her HERE . Also, WTF Journals are now live ! Well, the pre-order window anyway. Order now from wtfjournals.com - the pre-order window is open for three weeks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, Ellie and Paige answer a listener question about medication and their experience with Fluoxetine, we discuss an upcoming ADHD documentary and Paige highlights one of her fave journal inserts coming out next week. Some more context on the upcoming documentary - a couple of weeks ago Channel 4 announced a new ADHD documentary is in production and our first instincts solely based on the title were... uncomfortable? It's called The Great ADHD Myth?' and we thought it was important to have a nuanced discussion about this, based on what we know so far. The Great ADHD Myth? asks whether ADHD is actually a neurodevelopmental condition - or whether modern life is creating the behaviours we call ADHD. We chat about the questions the NHS Psychiatrist will be investigating in the documentary, whether we think, these will be helpful or harmful and discuss missed opportunities we think the content might be issing. Full disclosure; the documentary isn't out yet, so we're only able to base our chats on what we know from the above article, but we feel that even the article is purposely inflammatory and could be harmful, which is frustrating when we've spent years trying to remove so much stigma. Also, we're one week out from launching our journals - sign up before Tuesday 18th to become a Founding Member if you choose to purchase! https://wtfjournals.com/signup Join our Reddit community to get involved in our conversations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ellie loves an infodump and today she's gone on a deep dive about the history of ADHD. Ever wondered when it was first mentioned in literature? Or why it became a 'disorder' in modern day society? Did ADHD always exist, or has it just become a 'thing' in the last 100 years? ADHD might feel like a modern diagnosis, but the traits we associate with it have been described for centuries - from early descriptions of attention and hyperactivity, to the diagnosis entering the DSM, and the question of what ADHD might have looked like before modern society. We explore theories that some ADHD traits may have been advantageous in certain environments, and discuss that perhaps the manifestation of ADHD is heavily influenced by a mismatch between brains and the world we're living in. Check out Dr. Russell Barkley's YouTube Channel Citation #1: Dan TA Eisenberg, Benjamin Campbell, Peter B Gray, Michael D Sorenson - An exploration of nutrition indices among nomadic and recently settled Ariaal men of northern Kenya Citation #2: David L. Barack et. al - Attention deficits linked with proclivity to explore while foraging Sign up to become a Founding Member for WTF Journals LINKTREE Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why is it that we can be incredibly capable, creative and motivated, but somehow struggle to organise our own lives? We've spent our whole lives trying to create routines, stick to planners, build systems and pretty much everytime, we abandon them, forget about them, or decide we've failed the moment we miss a day. This has led to years of shame, low self esteem, burnout - you name it! In this episode, we talk about our experiences with executive dysfunction, and reveal why sometimes we're just lacking the flint to our fire - once the fire is going, we can find momentum, but the systems in today's world aren't kind to our brains. We unpack why traditional systems can be so difficult for AuDHD brains - and why sometimes, we don't need more discipline - w just need the right flint to get the fire started. After years of struggling, we've created our own customisable journal system and we're hoping it helps you too! Sign up to become a WTF Journal Founding Member - (includes $10 off your first order) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stress affects everyone, but sometimes we don't always become aware of it until it's too late. In this episode, Ellie and Paige talk about their experiences with stress and how they've learnt to look for physical signs early. The body and mind are super connected, but Westernised medicine generally doesn't approach this holistic ideology, leading to a disconnect between your thoughts and feelings, and what your body is trying to say. After Ellie's body recently burnt out, she's trying to learn how to identify it earlier and encourage others to listen to their bodies too. We ask our listeners how stress manifests physically in them, and there are a lot of clear themes that come up. Hopefully this episode will help you identify early signs of stress, be kinder to yourself and not always feel you have to "push through". Join the conversation by joining our Reddit! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This week, we've swapped places and now Paige has been sick! So in the spirit of accommodating ourselves, but still providing you with some fun, we're continuing to answer your questions. We chat about light-hearted subjects like our star signs, to giving our opinions on disclosing your diagnosis to healthcare professionals and potential employers. We discuss how we balance our lives to avoid burnout (spoiler alert: we're still workjing on it) we finally reveal "the hill we will die on". Thanks for your patience as we both get back to full health - we'll be back with a proper episode next week! Sign up to h ear more about our journals wtfjournals.com/signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Full disclosure - Ellie is super sick this week and because we self-produce this, we needed an accessible, low-effort topic, that would still be interesting to you - so we opened up your questions! Did we used to fight as kids? What are we watching at the moment? Our go-to meals? What is our fave part of being AuDHD? And more! Join our Reddit to participate in future conversations with us. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We have both struggled with clothing for our entire life - it's a double-prong of sensory icks and societal expectations that really drive us up the wall. For many neurodivergent people, clothes can be a daily sensory battle, so in this episode, we chat about our favourite "safe clothes", why certain fabrics make us want to crawl out of our skin, the emotional side of getting dressed, the societal expectations of gender-based dressing and general social decorum, and why comfort should always win over fashion! SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

CONTENT DISCLAIMER: This episode contains discussions about sex, intimacy, masking, consent, and unwanted sexual experiences. Please listen with caution. It also contains some EXPLICIT language, so be mindful of younger ears. This week we're discussing a topic that many people experience but rarely talk about: masking during sex and intimacy. After receiving a vulnerable email from a listener who described feeling like they were performing through every sexual experience, we wanted to explore the complicated relationship between masking, people-pleasing, sensory experiences, expectations, and intimacy. We talk about our own experiences growing up as women, the messages we received about sex and relationships, and how being neurodivergent can sometimes make it difficult to identify, communicate, and prioritise our own needs. We also discuss the difference between wanting something and feeling like you should want it, as well as the exhaustion that can come from constantly performing for others. As always, we're sharing personal experiences and listener stories rather than diagnostic criteria, and we recognise that everyone's relationship with sex and intimacy is different. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before we were diagnosed, Paige and Ellie dismissed the possibility that we could be autistic because we didn't match the stereotypes we'd been exposed to. Even though Paige suspected she was autistic at 15, the environmental voices were so loud she gave up. In this episode, we're unpacking some of the reasons we didn't think we could be autistic and the experiences we later realised were showing up differently than we expected. As always, we're sharing our personal stories and experiences, not providing diagnostic advice. These traits don't automatically mean someone is autistic, but they may help explain why so many late-diagnosed and AuDHD people overlooked autism in themselves for years. Sign up to be a founding journal holder https://wtfjournals.com/signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Before we jump into this week's episode - we have a new Reddit! The other one will be going to the graveyard, so join our new one here: https://www.reddit.com/r/wtfisaudhd In this episode we chat about the hobbies, journals, activities we swore we'd stick to... only to abandon then a few weeks later. From the feelings of "this is it!" "this is my new thing" to the shame and embarrassment that comes after you've forgotten it even exists. We explore why ADHD brains become so intensely focused on new interests, why that motivation can disappear seemingly overnight, and the guilt, shame and financial "ADHD tax" that often follows. We also discuss your contributions around hobbies and dusty journals from the new Reddit community. Plus, we received a message from our local psychologist Mike Cochrane about scam diagnoses and how to keep an eye out for illiegitimate 'experts'. And speaking of things we've abandoned in the past... Paige brings her latest journal updates - and how she's trying her best to ensure this is a journal that stays with you forever! More info at wtfjournals.com/signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Modern life can sometimes feel like actual torture for an ADHD brain - and it really can be! In this episode, we chat about dopamine, procrastination, novelty-seeking, and why so many apps, algorithms, and endless notifications are designed to hijack everyone's brains. Then when you add in the ADHD, we become the perfect target. We look at the ways modern life may be making life harder for ADHDers, and we share some personal examples minor tasks we've avoided, even though it would help us in the long run. If you're struggling in this modern day, overstimulating world - you are not alone. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast ellieonthetelly.com wtfjournals.com/signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why do so many autistic, ADHD and AuDHD people experience a constant feeling that something is “wrong” or about to go wrong? In this episode of WTF is AuDHD? , we explore our experiences with the feeling of impending doom. We theorise why it might be experienced more in our community - from anxiety and sensory overload to nervous system activation, interoception, uncertainty intolerance and emotional dysregulation. We also share a few funny stories from the week that was, that include a lost cellphone and a tea kettle #adhdthings SOCIAL @wtfisaudpodcast https://wtfjournals.com/signup https://ellieonthetelly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Ellie and Paige reflect on Ellie's recent overseas trip and why Amsterdam in particular was kind to her neurodivergent mind. We go on a few side quests along the way, chatting about Ellie's recent engagement, Paige tells a story about having Tourette's in public and we accidentally end up analysing marriage. In the second half of the episode, we chat all about movies and why we both find it hard to commit to them. Ellie brings some research on why some autistic/ADHD people struggle with movies and we bring our own lived experience. We're curious to know - do you also struggle to commit to movies? Sign up for WTF Journal presales - wtfjournals.com/signup Chat with Ellie - ellieonthetelly.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Why does being seen feel so uncomfortable… even when nothing’s actually wrong? In this episode, we unpack the fear of being perceived - something that shows up in many people from the neurodivergent community. From overthinking how we’re coming across, to feeling exposed just existing in public (and private!), to avoiding being watched altogether (lockdown was an interesting time) - we share what this experience feels like for us. Maybe you'll recognise this in yourself too? We talk about masking, perfectionism, shame, and the weird contradiction of wanting to be understood but not wanting to be perceived. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast @wtf.journals Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What completely dysregulates you that might seem a bit unusual to someone else? This episode is basically a collection of “why does THIS send me over the edge?” moments. We’re sharing the things that dysregulate us as AuDHDers - from noises, to sounds, to textures, to general demands - we share our own experiences plus read out the ones you sent us on Instagram. SOCIAL @wtfisaudhdpodcast @wtf.journals Book a mentoring session with Ellie ellieonthetelly.com Sign up for early access to our journals - wtfjournals.com/signup Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.