Healing Childhood Trauma

A lot of people assume not being ready for therapy means being in denial or lacking self-awareness. That’s usually not the case. In this episode, I’m talking about something I see all the time in early conversations with potential clients. The moment where I can tell someone isn’t quite ready for therapy yet. And it has nothing to do with how much they’ve reflected or how well they understand their past. You can be insightful, emotionally aware, and still feel stuck in the same patterns. Because the real shift in therapy isn’t just about understanding what’s happened to you. It’s about being willing to look at your role in what’s continuing. Inside this episode, I talk about: Why self-awareness alone doesn’t create change The difference between focusing on other people and focusing on yourself Why it can feel safer to stay focused on what others are doing wrong The part of therapy that people don’t always expect Why validation on its own isn’t enough to move things forward The shift that tells me someone is actually ready for therapy This isn’t about blame or taking responsibility for things that weren’t your fault. But if your focus stays on other people needing to change, you’ll likely stay stuck. Even if you’re right. If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing “all the work” but nothing is really shifting, this episode will help you understand why. Lizandra is a UK- based relational psychotherapist who works with attachment, anxiety and relationships in St Albans and online. Learn more about her private practice New Frame Therapy and how you can work with her here . Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Support the show

Many millennials are waking up to something previous generations rarely had language for. Childhood trauma. Emotional neglect. Attachment wounds. In this episode, I talk about what it means to be part of the first generation in many families actively trying to understand and heal these patterns. For a lot of people, this realisation comes with mixed emotions. Greater awareness can bring clarity. But it can also bring grief, anger, and confusion about how to hold compassion for our parents while still acknowledging the impact of what we experienced growing up. I explore why so many millennials are looking back at their childhood with new understanding. And why being the person who questions family patterns can sometimes feel lonely. In this episode we talk about: • Why previous generations often survived trauma rather than processed it • How conversations around mental health, therapy, and attachment became more visible for millennials • The grief that can come with recognising emotional neglect or unmet needs in childhood • What happens when you start seeing family dynamics differently • The reality of being the one who begins breaking generational patterns This work isn’t easy. But every time someone understands their childhood trauma, heals attachment wounds, or learns how to build safer relationships, the cycle starts to shift. And often, that shift begins with one person. If you’re exploring your own attachment patterns or the impact of childhood trauma on your adult relationships, you can find more resources and ways to work with me in the links below. Lizandra is a UK-based BACP registered psychotherapist who works with childhood trauma, anxiety and attachment. Based in St Albans, Hertfordshire and online across the UK and EU. Book an intro call here. Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Psychology Today Profile Support the show

Burnout isn’t just feeling tired—it shows up in ways that quietly sabotage work, relationships, and daily life. In this episode, I sit down with clinical psychologist and friend Dr Claire Plumbly to explore how burnout presents in real life, share stories from clients, and reflect on our own experiences. We cover: • Common signs of burnout you might be missing • How burnout impacts relationships, work, and wellbeing • Practical ways we work with clients to prevent and recover from burnout • Personal reflections from both of us on managing high expectations and overdoing it Dr Claire Plumbly who is a Clinical Psychologist, author of Amazon bestseller ‘Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You’, and founder of Plum Psychology - a boutique psychology service for overcoming trauma, burnout, anxiety and low self-esteem - based online and in Taunton, Somerset. Resources Claire's Guide: Switching off after work http://www.plum-psychology.com/ Lizandra is a psychotherapist in St. Albans, Hertfordshire who works online and in-person with high-achieving women. She specialises in anxiety, childhood trauma, and attachment challenges, guiding clients toward clarity and self-trust. Discover more about her private practice New Frame Therapy Support the show

If you’ve ever been told you have an anxious attachment style this episode is going to make you pause. In this conversation, I explore whether what we call anxious attachment is sometimes a nervous system responding to emotional inconsistency, unpredictability, or lack of safety in a relationship. We talk about: What anxious attachment actually is Why women are often labelled “anxious” too quickly The difference between attachment wounds and ongoing unsafe dynamics How emotional unavailability keeps anxiety alive Why your reactions might make sense This isn’t dismissing attachment theory. It’s adding nuance. Before you try to regulate yourself into being less reactive, it might be worth asking whether your nervous system is responding to something real. If this resonates and you’re ready to explore your attachment patterns more deeply, you can find details about working with me 1:1 (UK and EU only) This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered the following: How do I fix my anxious attachment style in a relationship? How do anxious attachment styles act in a relationship? How to overcome an anxious attachment style in a relationship Support the show

In this episode, I’m breaking down 5 types of emotionally immature behaviour that high-functioning women often tolerate, excuse or overcompensate for. We cover: • What emotional immaturity actually looks like in adult relationships • The defensive partner who turns every conversation into an attack • Gaslighting and why it slowly erodes your self-trust • The minimiser who makes your feelings feel “too much” • The avoidant who disappears when things get real • The victim performer who collapses when you ask for accountability • Why capable, high-achieving women are especially vulnerable to these dynamics • The nervous system cost of staying in emotionally immature relationships If this episode resonates and you’re ready to stop carrying the emotional weight in your relationships, I work with high-functioning women in 1:1 therapy to: • Strengthen boundaries without guilt • Rebuild trust in your own perception • Break attachment patterns rooted in childhood • Stop confusing emotional chaos with chemistry Lizandra is a BACP registered psychotherapist who works 1:1 with relational trauma in the UK. Book an intro call here. Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Previous Relevant Episodes 4 Attachment Styles in Relationships [Ep 2] How to Heal from Anxious Attachment [Ep 4] Is it Narcissism or Avoidant Attachment? [Ep 28] This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered: What are the signs of someone who is emotionally immature? How does an emotionally immature person act? What are the red flags of emotional immaturity? What are the signs of low emotional intelligence? Signs of an emotionally immature partner Support the show

In this episode, I talk about the subtle, everyday ways attachment patterns show up in high functioning women. We explore: • Why replying quickly can be about regulation, not politeness • Why resting can feel uncomfortable, even when you’re exhausted • Why asking for help feels harder than just doing it yourself Attachment isn’t only romantic love. It shows up in how you move through your day, how safe you feel slowing down, and how much you carry on your own. 📱 Book an initial consultation with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Lizandra is a UK-based psychotherapist who works with high achieving women to break unhealthy relationship patterns and to overcome anxiety and burnout. Support the show

In this episode, we dive into high-functioning anxiety —what it really looks like, why it’s so common among high-achieving women, and how childhood experiences can secretly shape the way your nervous system responds to stress. We talk about: . How high-functioning anxiety shows up in day-to-day life . The hidden costs of always “being fine” . Why your nervous system can keep you in overdrive even when life seems calm . Small, practical steps to start calming your mind without giving up ambition If you’ve ever felt exhausted by your own brain, struggled to ask for help, or worried that slowing down means failing, this episode is for you. 📱 Book an initial consultation with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Support the show

If you've ever wondered what avoidant attachment looks like in women, this episode answers that and more. This looks at the root cause of avoidant attachment, starting with childhood and how it can impact relationships, parenting, friendships and work. Avoidant attachment doesn't always come with self awareness, but this episode looks at what happens when you pair self awareness in high functioning women and avoidant attachment. Listen until the end if you want insight on how to shift your relationships from feeling superficial and disconnected to connected and meaningful. Relevant Episodes 4 Attachment Styles in Relationships [Ep 2] Developing Secure Attachment When You’ve Experienced Childhood Trauma [Ep 7] Recognising the Signs of Dismissive Avoidant Attachment: Key Traits and Behaviours [Ep 11] How to not Lose Yourself in Relationships when you have an Anxious Attachment [Ep 14] Connect 📱 Book an initial consultation with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Resources Get your free attachment healing guide and join the mailing list Lizandra is a psychotherapist based in the UK working with high achieving women to heal from the past so they can have healthy relationships. Support the show

And we're back after a mini break with a brand new episode. In this episode, I’m speaking to high-functioning women who look fine on the outside but feel tense, switched on, and disconnected inside. You might be self-aware and insightful, yet still struggle to feel settled in your body or safe in your nervous system. We explore why understanding your patterns isn’t always enough, and how many women stay stuck in their heads instead of moving into embodiment and integration. I talk about how perfectionism and imposter syndrome link to self-worth, and why high achievement often comes with quiet emotional disconnection. Now Accepting clients for 1:1 Therapy Book Your Consultation Here (UK & EU Residents Only) Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the website Support the show

Christmas has a way of bringing old family dynamics straight back to the surface. Even if you’ve done the work. Even if you’re self-aware. Even if you usually cope well. In this replay of one of my most listened-to episodes, I talk through practical, realistic ways to think about boundaries with family at Christmas. Especially when the dynamics are emotionally immature, critical, or draining. This episode is for you if: • You feel activated around family, even when you wish you wouldn’t • You struggle to hold boundaries without guilt or over-explaining • You end Christmas feeling exhausted, resentful, or like you’ve lost yourself • You’re high-functioning, capable, and tired of just “pushing through” This isn’t about cutting people off or becoming emotionally cold. It’s about understanding why family triggers land so deeply. And how to protect your emotional energy without abandoning yourself. If Christmas is already feeling like a lot, this episode is here to support you. 🔗 Links & Resources: 👉 Work with Lizandra 1:1 👉 Visit the Website 👉 Follow Lizandra on Instagram Support the show

You like to follow wellness practices but you’re not sure which ones are helpful for nervous system regulation and which ones to leave behind. There are so many choices that often tap into your deepest fears and insecurities and even with the best of intentions, can make you feel worse. This episode explores how you can tell the difference between what’s working and what isn’t and how to listen to yourself more so you can make empowered and informed choices. If you’ve been wondering how to heal from emotional trauma What supports nervous system regulation The practices that focus more on capitalism and productivity instead of healing This episode is for you. Lizandra is a practicing psychotherapist based in the UK who works with high achieving and high functioning women who want to heal from the past and break unhealthy patterns through deeper self awareness and nervous system regulation healing. If you are based in the UK and EU, you can book a consultation for 1 to 1 therapy. 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Support the show

Have you ever wondered what it means to regulate your nervous system? In this episode you'll learn more about how nervous system regulation doesn't need to be complicated and a starting a simple exercise can help you to feel calmer and relieve anxiety. This is a supportive practice but it’s not a substitute for therapy. Lizandra is a MBACP Registered Psychotherapist based in the UK who works online and in St.Albans Hertfordshire. Specialising in relational trauma, attachment and anxiety stemming from childhood trauma. Visit the Website Book a 15 minute consultation with Lizandra Support the show

In this episode, I talk about Seasonal Affective Disorder and the subtle ways it can creep into your mood, motivation and day-to-day energy. You'll hear me cover: - What to do when you feel yourself withdrawing or shutting off -Simple daily habits that help -When to reach out for extra support If winter always feels harder and you're tired of pushing through on your own. this is the kind of work we do in therapy. I've got current availability for women who want support with anxiety, burnout and the deeper stuff underneath it. 📱** Book a free intro call with Lizandra here ** Visit the website Support the show

Have you ever wondered if you’re the toxic one? Want to know the four toxic behaviours that happen in relationships that stem from an insecure attachment? In this episode, psychotherapist Lizandra explores the patterns that most people get stuck in when dealing with conflict. It’s the everyday behaviours that cause disconnection in the relationships that matter most. Ready to break your unhealthy relationship patterns and heal from the past? 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Visit the Website Previous Episode: Therapist Tips on Having Hard Conversations and Dealing with Conflict [Ep 9] Support the show

Therapy is changing. 2026 is going to look very different for anyone who’s already on a healing journey. This episode breaks down what those changes actually mean for you. We talk about the rise of real connection in therapy. More relational work. More collective healing. Less of the “fix yourself alone” mindset that kept so many women stuck in burnout. We also get honest about AI. It’s growing fast. It can be useful. It’s not therapy. I explain why big tech is pushing into the mental health world. The impact it’s having on clients and therapists. And what to look out for so your healing doesn’t get reduced to another tech product. You’ll also hear why therapy is becoming more normal, more accessible. And why that shift matters if you grew up holding everything together and trying not to take up space. If you’re navigating high-functioning anxiety, attachment wounds or childhood trauma. This episode will help you understand what’s coming. And how to stay grounded in support that’s actually human. 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Support the show

The internet is talking about Is having a boyfriend embarrassing now? Read the Article In this episode, Lizandra, a psychotherapist in private practice at New Frame Therapy talks about the decision to stop working with couples. It relates to the changes happening in relationships and why it's so hard to heal from attachment trauma and form trusting secure attachments in relationships. Connect on TikTok Connect on Instagram Book a free 15 minute consultation with Lizandra Support the show

Abandonment doesn’t always look like what we think it does. It isn’t just about someone leaving or not choosing you. In this episode, I talk about the less obvious ways abandonment shows up. The ones that start in childhood and shape how we connect (or disconnect) as adults. You’ll hear about: The hidden forms of abandonment that often go unnoticed — like over-functioning or caretaking. How emotional abandonment in childhood can happen even in loving homes. The link between fear of being left and the ways we’ve learned to leave ourselves. Listen if you want to: Understand why independence can sometimes be a trauma response. Recognise the moments you abandon your own needs to feel safe. Begin reconnecting with the parts of you that never got the care they needed. Get your free attachment healing guide and join the mailing list 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Previous Episodes Self Boundaries, Attachment and Burnout [Ep 30] Adverse Childhood Experiences Explained: The Link Between Trauma and Your Health [Ep 25] How to not Lose Yourself in Relationships when you have an Anxious Attachment [Ep 14] Lizandra is a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor in St Albans, Hertfordshire, UK offering therapy for high-achieving women online and in-person. She helps clients navigate high functioning anxiety, relationships, and childhood patterns with practical, honest insight. Learn more about her therapy practice in St Albans, New Frame Therapy. Support the show

Being called “needy” in a relationship can feel shaming but what if being needy isn’t the problem? In this episode, I unpack why we end up feeling anxious, clingy, or desperate for reassurance in relationships. We’ll explore how childhood experiences and attachment patterns shape our needs and why trying to suppress them only backfires. You’ll learn: Why needing connection is human — and when it gets labeled as “too much” The hidden cost of ignoring your needs or shutting down Practical steps to feel secure in yourself while communicating clearly with your partner If you’ve ever felt “too much” or worried that asking for what you need will push someone away, this episode is for you. It’s about shifting from shame to curiosity, and learning how to meet your needs in a healthy, confident way. Resources Why Self-Soothing Feels So Hard When You Have Anxious Attachment [Ep 32] Now Accepting clients for 1:1 Therapy Book Your Consultation Here Get your free secure attachment guide and join the mailing list Visit the Website Support the show

Lizandra is a BACP Registered Psychotherapist and Relationship Therapist based in the UK who works with adults healing from childhood trauma and high functioning anxiety. When most people think about healing, they focus on what they should be doing — journaling, setting boundaries, or practicing self-care. But just as important is what you need to stop doing. In this episode, I’m breaking down five common habits that can quietly hold you back from feeling secure in yourself and your relationships. These patterns often come from trauma, and you might not even realise how much they’re shaping your everyday life. We’ll talk about: Why you might feel the need to over-explain yourself. How constant apologising keeps you stuck in shame. The subtle ways people-pleasing turns into self-abandonment. What happens when you dismiss your own emotions. And the one habit that can make you feel like you’re always “behind” in your healing. If you’ve ever wondered why you’re working so hard on yourself but still feel stuck, this episode will help you see what needs to shift — and it’s probably not what you expect. Resources Five Steps to Setting Boundaries Free Guide Adverse Childhood Experiences Explained: The Link Between Trauma and Your Health [Ep 25] Here’s why you’re getting stuck in your healing journey [Ep 22] What to do when you feel Emotionally Overwhelmed [Ep 17] 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Support the show

If you’ve ever wondered why you’re working so hard on yourself but still feel stuck, this episode will help you see what needs to shift — and it’s probably not what you expect. Many people who identify as empaths are actually carrying codependent patterns that started in childhood. In this episode, we explore how to tell the difference between being codependent and being an empath and why that distinction matters for your healing. You’ll learn: The key differences between codependency and empathy How childhood trauma and family dynamics shape both What happens when you keep identifying with codependency as empathy Simple ways to start reconnecting to your own needs and emotions This episode is for anyone who’s ever thought: “Am I an empath or just codependent?” or “Why do I always attract people who drain my energy?” Resources Journal prompts start at 18:36 A Trauma Informed Approach to a Realistic Morning Routine [Ep 27] 5 Things People With Secure Attachment Do [Ep 35] 8 Types of Boundaries You Were Never Taught But Definitely Need [Ep 34] Developing Secure Attachment when you've Experienced Childhood Trauma [Ep 7] Get your free attachment guide and join the mailing list 📱 Book your free 15 minute intro call with Lizandra Connect with Lizandra on TikTok Connect with Lizandra on Instagram Support the show