Meeting the Inconceivable | Zen Koans, Dreams & the Creative Life

In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill tells an old story in which a man dreams that he is a butterfly. Upon waking, he begins to wonder if he is, in fact, a butterfly dreaming of being a man. Atwill invites us into the true wonder that appears when our fixed views start to give way. We already know how to discover our own awakening. It is happening without our needing to try. Listen in to learn about endless transformation and how to align with the natural flow of things. "Another word for awakening is intimacy with the whole of my situation." — Allison Atwill. What You'll Learn: How to feel into the moment What is the transformation of things How to align with the transformation of things What are the impediments to a freer state of being How to be more comfortable with change — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Through exploring the classic Roadrunner and Wiley Coyote screenwriting rules, Roshi John Tarrant interrogates the constraints we so often place on life in hopes of it all making more sense. In meditation, our rules often begin to loosen, and the true absurdity and delight of our situation becomes clearer. What will we do with what we are given? Just taking it all in is a start. "One of the fundamental things in Zen would be being adaptive and conforming to circumstances rather than finding circumstances." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What happens after awakening How to stop fighting our mind Why don't we own our joy How to cultivate a generous attitude Ways to find what is true for us How to teach a culture What are koans for — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this lively summer sesshin talk, Roshi John Tarrant engages students in reflecting on what actually happens as practice deepens during a long retreat. Like front foot and back foot walking, we get a taste of the light and then are lost again in the darkness. We reach for a new koan or practice that will open the "right" door. Seeing our true nature encompasses both the light and the dark. Let the koan carry you. "There is not a matter or right or wrong. There is a matter of being here and respecting the quality of being here." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How does meditation change the mind What is front foot walking How to harness the natural movement of the mind Why we should lean into difficulties How perception is linked to thought — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Meditation is not something you do; it is something you surrender to. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant speaks from deep inside Summer sesshin about how, with practice, the gap between ourselves and the universe begins to close and we start to trust the deeper currents at work, even in our difficulties. What happens when you surrender to the moment? "The thing about koan meditation is you don't have to be good at it because it is before being good or bad at things." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What to do in meditation How to trust life What to learn from the koan about flying birds How to interact meaningfully with koans What happens when you surrender to the moment — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Today, Roshi John Tarrant takes up an infamous koan about a woman raising a goose in a bottle. There are many bottles that we may feel trapped in throughout our lives. Awakening is never about solving our problems but rather about dissolving the constraints of the mind. In this episode, we discuss the don't-know quality of Zen and koans in general. We also consider koans as a gateway. "Reject what is not true, and the real naturally appears." — John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: What does the koan about the goose in the bottle teach us How to care for life What is awakening How to get the goods out of the bottle — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

This episode features several stories of awakening to what was always already here and on our side. To end the project of suffering that many of us take on, we need first to identify the types of suffering. Only then can we begin to look past the suffering to the root causes. In Buddhism, we can learn to make use of our suffering by reaching for the light. What does reaching for the light look like, and why does the mind manufacture misery? "There is a place inside of you where you can rest. Even when you are reaching, you are resting inside of your life." — Allison Atwill. What You'll Learn: How to look beyond frustration What suffering does Buddhism speak to How does the mind manufacture misery What are the two kinds of suffering Why does the mind manufacture misery What is inward radiance — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley begins with an old Seamus Heaney poem about how the universe appears in all its splendor in the places we least expect. What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world, and let it unfold against our fingertips? What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen, meaning to be empty of ideas and preconceived notions? Listen to this episode to learn how to feel your way along the wall, no matter how dark. "It doesn't matter how it comes to you, that you begin to dissolve your usual borders and feel a part of things." - Tess Beasley. What You'll Learn: What does koan Zen say about intimacy What does it mean to stay intimate with the being of the world How can we make sense of the feeling that our borders are not as certain as we thought they were What does it mean to give way to poverty in Zen How to let the world in How to feel your way along the wall — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

Roshi John Tarrant explores the intersection of the art of haiku and silence. In this episode, he shows how the vastness of the universe is always ready to emerge out of our very own heart-mind. How do we convey this? Listen to this episode as we grapple with the marvel of being alive and the sense of vastness of things. We muse on what comes out of the silence and consider how to teach and learn from the Dharma. "Darkness is a stillness, too." - John Tarrant. What You'll Learn: How to convey silence What are koans How to explain the dharma of haiku How to interact with koans What is precious about darkness How to fulfill your life purpose Ways to convey the Dharma — Links Mentioned: Learn more about this episode Learn more about koans Learn more about Zen John Tarrant's books: Bring Me the Rhinoceros The Story of the Buddha

As the year comes to a close, "the Guanyins" -- Roshis Allison Atwill, Tess Beasley, Michelle Riddle, and Sarah Bender -- team up to tell a wintery Christmas tale of wonder. Holidays often come with difficulties, but also have the potential of opening the heart into unexpected moments of healing. Listen to a story of reconciliation, surprise, and the blessing that emptiness can bring to any season. Happy New Year! "Zen sees awakening as a kind of miracle." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/30

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares a wondrous and humorous rendition of an old fairytale about the Golden Bird and Buddha Nature. Explore how it is never our most treasured or heroic attitudes that lead us through the gates of awakening; it is far simpler than that. Tarrant reminds us that, with just one sitting, all our crimes are wiped away. Listen to this episode to learn about the benefits of generosity and discipline, and how we can best manage our expectations of desire and fulfillment. "Everybody wants to be the best horse, but the worst horse is interesting." - John Tarrant Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/29

Thanksgiving and the whole notion of gratitude can bring along complicated feelings. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old story about a miserable student convinced that he is beyond help. The teacher he finds tells him she'll offer him a practice but only if he promises to take it up for a whole year, no questions asked. It goes terribly, but even that turns out perfectly in the end. Gratitude is far more mysterious than we give it credit for, and impossible to fabricate. Like awakening itself, it arises by itself as we move deeper on the path. "We don't oppose anything that rises in the heart or mind." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/28

In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant shares an old Zen story about navigating impossible times and realizing how life carries us even when it's tough. "For thirty years, I've been just getting by," says the teacher in question, "but I've never lacked for salt or sauce." What makes the salt and sauce of our lives? Listen to this moving and joyful exploration of how, no matter our circumstances, it is a good life, and that we, too, never lack for salt or sauce. "Slowly the dharma just soaks into you." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/27

Being lost has a transformative beauty to it. Being lost is a gateway to the extraordinary, as it brings about the possibility of not knowing who we are. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant discusses the importance of being tossed out of our certainties and discovering something far more strange and true. The final evening of sesshin in the bath. "We can't object to the path or ourselves." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/26

During our journey of existence, we lose and find our true nature. It's amazing what we know once we allow ourselves to know it. What magic happens when koans start talking to each other? In this episode, Roshi Tess Beasley discusses the game of hide-and-seek we are constantly playing with ourselves, others, and everything. "There is some idea that things belong to us, but they certainly don't. That goes for our inner lives as well." - Tess Beasley. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/25

What does it mean to be in the bath of awakening? We somehow always have a reluctance to immerse ourselves completely, which is the very thing that holds it at bay. In this episode, Roshi Jess Cardin talks listeners through another water koan from The Blue Cliff Record in which the teacher recounts the "subtle touch reveals the light in everything." What do you hold in reserve? What keeps you feeling outside of things or difficult to reach? Listen from deep in sesshin. "Once I am in the bath, I can look back and see that I was always in the bath." - Jesse Cardin. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/24

The stone drenched with rain points the way. In this episode, Roshi Allison Atwill speaks on a koan born of a haiku by Japanese poet Santoka Taneda. What does it mean to be drenched in our own lives and experiences? This episode invites listeners into the constant downpour that is the universe itself. "It is a promising moment when we give up trying to control our situation; not to get our of the rain, but to let it soak through us." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/23

We are all walking through the valley holding our lanterns. What is the Way? What do the valley and the lantern represent? Koans allow us to stop chasing. When we are not chasing things, we can experience freedom and delight. When you relate to something outside of yourself, you can be free. Listen to this episode as Roshi John Tarrant muses on having the mind of a dead log. "The whole of your life has a nobility and truth to it." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/22

With realization, all things are one family. Without realization, all things are separate and disconnected. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant talks about the empathy of meditation and its lack of opposition. Meditation assists in undoing the structures the mind makes. We can let go of control and let the koans carry us. Listen in to learn about the hidden allies we have in our lives and why the small self is always trying to be something. "The tradition teaches itself and teaches people to teach it." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/21

Today, Roshi Allison Atwill shares a poem about our intrinsic ability to always carry light and silence. In this episode, she explains how the original silence is always with us and within us. What are the elemental termas of Tibetan Buddhism? How can we apply these termas to meditation practice? We can learn and teach from the silence and the light that we each have within. "Awakening always appears in our actual life." - Allison Atwill. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/20

There is always a certain amount of mystery to who we are and where we are. In this episode, Roshi John Tarrant takes up a poetic case entitled Jiashan's Beautiful State of Mind. What is your state of mind? What is it like to be you? "The universe is holding all of us and is all of us." - John Tarrant. Learn more about this episode of Meeting the Inconceivable at https://www.pacificzen.org/19