Relationships the Good and the Messy!

Beautiful people please listen to me .. I do not want you in this perpetual cycle of crazy and trust me when I say that when they reach out whether they do in a week month years even, do not take the bait. If they ever cared an ounce you would not have experienced the extreme heartache pain and abuse that you did. The good parts of them come with so much deception and lies and you are not being loved, you are being used. Ask me anything and if you would like a 1.1 hour call or 6 week / 13 week program please message me on IG .. you are not alone. Let me guide you out and through 💜

In this episode, Sally reminds listeners that they are not alone in the struggles they face within relationships. Healing from toxic dynamics is a journey, and understanding what happened is often the first step toward reclaiming your strength and self-worth. Sally also shares insights from her book Confessions of a Relationship Junkie: Healing Narcissist Chains, where she openly reflects on how a relationship that once felt like love slowly became toxic — and why it was so difficult to leave. Through her story and the lessons she shares, this conversation offers encouragement, perspective, and a reminder that healing and transformation are always possible.

Sometimes the hardest relationship truth isn’t “Do they love me?” It’s “Can I actually breathe inside the way this relationship works?” You can have real love, chemistry, connection and history with someone — and still realise that the relationship requires too much adjusting, carrying, decoding or waiting. In this episode, I’m talking about the difference between being loved and being loved well , why healing can change what you’re willing to tolerate, and the question that might clarify everything: Can you be fully yourself inside this love or are you exhausted trying to make it work? With love . Sally .. 1.1 coaching available

WORK WITH ME PRIVATELY ❤️ I work privately with a small number of people who want clarity and a fresh perspective on their relationship or personal situation. If you’d like to work with me one-to-one, message me PRIVATE on Instagram or Facebook and I’ll send you the details HOW DO YOU KNOW YOU’VE FOUND THE RIGHT PERSON? How do you actually know? Because chemistry isn’t enough. Attraction isn’t enough. And even loving somebody deeply doesn’t necessarily mean they’re the right person to build your life with. In this episode, I’m giving you three things to look for including the question I think matters most: Can you relax inside the way this person loves you? Short, clear and straight to the point. If you’re questioning someone in your life right now, this one’s for you. Relationships: The Good and the Messy Sally Kalan ❤️

We don’t always need to be in a high vibe state ! Sharing a quick podcast on accepting that some days we don’t feel good and to honor that and not push it away .It’s ok to do nothing & feel tired and fed up!! just breathe through it as t will pass, we want to feel our feelings but not wallow in them. SHaring a bit of my own feelings on this as i am going through my own big changes atm!! This too shall pass ❤️

Here is a quick guided meditation to help remove stress at the end of the day ! Please message me at salbella3@gmail.com if you would like longer more intimate ones let me know Love feedback ❤️thank you for listening

In this episode, Sally shares a personal reflection on growing up without an emotionally available father and how that experience influenced the choices she made in relationships. Early emotional wounds can shape how we see love, connection, and ourselves, often leading us into patterns we don’t fully understand at the time. Sally speaks openly about how these experiences affected her life and how awareness is the first step toward change. While healing these patterns isn’t an overnight process, taking small, intentional steps each day can create powerful transformation over time. If this resonates with you and you’d like support understanding your own relationship patterns, you can connect with Sally on Instagram @sallykalan to learn more about working together through a one-off coaching session. 💛

After a narcissistic relationship ends, it can be incredibly easy to stay focused on the other person analyzing their behaviour, trying to understand what happened, and consuming endless information about narcissism and toxic relationships. But eventually, recovery has to become about you. In this episode, I talk about what happens after the relationship ends and why there comes a point when we need to turn our attention away from understanding them and back towards ourselves. Because understanding what happened matters but so does processing it, releasing it, learning what it showed you about yourself, and ultimately allowing yourself to move forward. You don’t have to spend the rest of your life studying the person who hurt you. At some point, your own life deserves your attention again. That last line is very Sally and gives an older episode a really strong contemporary description without pretending the recording itself is new. ❤️

Episode starts 2 minutes in .... Hey my loves, this is why you can’t leave a toxic relationship, in todays episode I spell it out clearly The good news is you are not stuck & I'm here to guide you. let me know how you found my podcast today and please contact me if you wish to book a call . You deserve a real love where you are safe loved and supported. ! With love, always here for you, Sally❤️

Welcome my loves🌈iI get asked all the time will I ever find great love? I’ve only had crappy relationships so I wonder if I will ?.. well Today I share with you what the answer is to this question & what you must do🌸Sit back with a note pad and listen up closely ok? This is a must listen if you want to stop the toxic cycles ❤️ ps! Grab your FREE meditation on my Instagram bio at Sallykalan ! You will love it 😍 and book a Free call so we can talk about how I can help you

Sometimes clarity comes from asking ourselves better questions. In this episode, Sally shares five powerful questions that helped her gain perspective in her own relationships and make clearer decisions. These questions can help you reflect, find your own answers, and move forward with greater self-trust. If you’ve been feeling stuck in relationship patterns or unsure about what to do next, this conversation is designed to help you see things more clearly.

How do you actually know when you’re over a narcissistic relationship? Sometimes you don’t even fully understand what you were living through until you’re finally out of it. And healing doesn’t always look the way we expect it to. In this episode, I’m talking about what happens as you begin to come out the other side — when the fog starts clearing, you begin seeing the relationship differently, and slowly, you start finding yourself again. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re truly healing, whether you’ve really let go, or why parts of the relationship can still affect you long after it’s ended, this episode is for you. ❤️ 1.1 coaching available with me @sallykalan

Breakups are never easy, and the way we move through them can make a real difference to how quickly we heal and regain our strength. In this episode, Sally shares three practical suggestions to help you begin moving forward after a relationship ends. While every situation is different, these steps can offer a helpful starting point for rebuilding your sense of stability and self. She also notes that recovery from narcissistic relationships can be more complex, and future episodes will explore that journey more deeply.

Morning lovelies ! I have lived the path and I know how much time I wasted in my life trying to figure things out on my own, that was until I invested in my own healing ‘ with what I know now I want to save you years of your life and give you what you need, to go from unhealthy to healthy love ! Book a FREE call to discuss with me how I can help you on your life journey, booking at my bio on Instagram @sallykalan or via website . I see you❤️

Lovelies I'm keeping this short and succinct .. ❤️ here's the thing they often come back, in fact nearly always, and how do you know if it's a Hoover back or a real change? well have a listen and please be aware . I know we want to believe they have changed but rarely they do !!! So let me know if this has happened to you ... ? I'm here for you ... let me know if you have managed to break free and how you are doing . 1.1 coaching available ..sending you long

What do you do when you’ve prayed for love, you’ve done the healing, you’ve asked God for guidance… and you’re still waiting? In this episode, I’m talking about what it really means to trust God when you don’t know the outcome yet especially when it comes to love. Because maybe trusting God isn’t about sitting still and waiting for Him to hand you the answer. Maybe it’s about living your life fully, listening to yourself, staying open, and trusting that what is meant for you doesn’t require you to force it into existence. Sometimes God changes the circumstances. And sometimes, before anything around you changes, He changes you. If you’re in a season of waiting, wondering, praying or asking God “When is it going to be my turn?” this one is for you. ❤️

Listen in to what I know love really is ..... Have you ever wondered whether you genuinely love someone… or whether you’re attached to the connection, the chemistry, the uncertainty, or the future you imagined with them? Because attachment can feel a lot like love. It can be intense, consuming and incredibly difficult to let go of. But I’ve come to believe there’s a difference. Attachment is noisy. It asks: Where are they? Why haven’t they called? Are they choosing me? What does this mean? Love can be much quieter. Sometimes it’s simply a peaceful hum underneath everything: I love this person. I don’t even know why. I just do. In this episode, I’m exploring the difference between love, attachment, chemistry and intensity — and why genuinely loving someone doesn’t necessarily mean you’re meant to build a life with them. Maybe the question isn’t only, “Do I love them?” Maybe it’s also: “What happens to me when I love them?” 1.1 coaching available world wi d e.. I'm here for you ~ ❤️

Why can’t I stop missing them… even when I know they’re not right for me? If you’ve ever asked yourself that question, you’re not alone. In this episode, I talk about why it’s so hard to let go after a breakup, why your heart and your mind don’t always heal at the same pace, and why missing someone doesn’t automatically mean they’re meant to be in your life. We explore the difference between the emotional brain and the logical brain, why we often grieve the future we imagined as much as the person themselves, and why healing isn’t a straight line. Most importantly, I share how to keep moving forward, even on the days when you still miss them. Remember… You can miss someone and still know they’re not right for you. If you’d like support on your own healing journey, I’d love to walk alongside you. You can book a one-to-one coaching session using the links in the description.

Have you ever found yourself wondering… “Is this really the person God has for me?” In this episode, I share the three questions that have completely changed the way I look at relationships. Instead of focusing on chemistry, potential or mixed signals, I talk about something much deeper… The fruit your relationship is producing. Does it bring peace or anxiety? Freedom or bondage? Is it moving your life forward? If you’re healing from heartbreak, trying to let go, or praying for clarity, I hope this episode encourages you to step back, look honestly at the fruit, and trust that God wants more for your life than confusion and uncertainty. 🎙️ If you’d like to work with me one-to-one, I’d love to walk alongside you. Coaching details are in the description.

In this episode, I share five things you’ll never get from a dismissive avoidant not to criticise or label anyone, but to help you stop waiting for someone who is consistently showing you what they’re capable of giving. This isn’t about understanding them even more. It’s about understanding you. Because healing doesn’t come from convincing someone to love you differently. It comes from recognising what healthy love actually looks like, and having the courage to stop settling for inconsistency. If you’ve been overthinking the mixed signals, making excuses for someone’s behaviour, or wondering why you still can’t let go, this episode is for you. 🎙️ Relationships, the Good and the Messy is the podcast where we have honest conversations about love, heartbreak, attachment, healing, faith, and becoming the healthiest version of yourself. I’m Sally Kalan, relationship coach, author, and host of the podcast. I help women understand unhealthy relationship patterns, let go of emotionally unavailable partners, and build the kind of life and relationships they truly deserve. ❤️ If you’re ready to stop waiting and start healing, I also offer