The Cabrera Lab Podcast

Get 20% off any STSI course with code BURNOUT20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera think through the difference between stress and burnout—and why treating them as the same thing can lead us to solve the wrong problem. They explore stress as something that can sometimes be functional, while burnout emerges as a longer-term pattern of depletion without enough recovery. Rather than blaming the individual, they show how burnout can be understood as a systems problem involving workload, recovery, motivation, sleep, monotony, expectations, and the larger environment a person is operating within. The conversation also examines agency versus causality: you may not control the system you are in, but you can still identify places where your choices can change its structure. Sometimes that means improving efficiency, setting boundaries, changing expectations, creating recovery, or finding ways to make monotonous work more meaningful. If you feel constantly depleted, stuck, or unsure whether you are simply stressed or moving toward burnout, this episode offers a systems thinking framework for understanding the pattern—and finding the places where change is actually possible.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code UNIVERSE20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera explore why the most powerful thinking tools are often the simplest. They unpack the ideas of universality and elementalism: the importance of learning the fundamental patterns that show up across cooking, sports, business, medicine, education, and everyday problem solving. Instead of memorizing thousands of recipes, frameworks, or facts, Derek and Laura explain why mastering a small set of universal thinking structures can help you adapt to almost any situation. The conversation also explores M = IO, the difference between information and meaning, why more information does not automatically create better understanding, and how DSRP helps us organize information into useful mental models. If you want to think more clearly, solve problems more flexibly, and stop drowning in information, this episode offers a systems thinking case for returning to the fundamentals.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code LRL20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University answer a practical question from a listener: how do we help kids run the Love Reality Loop for themselves? They explore how adults can move from solving conflict for kids to coaching kids through the process of testing their own mental models against reality. The conversation breaks down how children can learn to pause, regulate emotions, separate thoughts from feelings, ask better questions, observe what is actually happening, and become more curious about whether their story matches reality. Derek and Laura also connect the Love Reality Loop to science, feedback, emotional regulation, adaptive thinking, and everyday life. They explain why kids do not just need adults to adjudicate reality for them—they need repeated practice learning how to notice when their thinking is out of sync and how to bring it back into alignment. If you work with kids, parent kids, teach kids, or simply want to become better at testing your own assumptions, this episode offers a systems thinking framework for developing self-awareness, emotional regulation, and reality-based thinking from the earliest stages of life.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code MORALS20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera explore how to build and test your own moral compass. They discuss what happens when a pre-made moral structure—such as religion, family norms, or inherited beliefs—no longer fully guides you, and how systems thinking can help you develop a more conscious ethical framework. Using DSRP, they unpack the moral implications of identity and other, part-whole systems, relationships, perspectives, consequences, and the balance between self and others. The conversation also explores values, beliefs, ethics, morality, rationalization, integrity, the Golden Rule, perspective taking, and the Love Reality Loop. Derek and Laura explain why moral development is not a one-time decision, but an ongoing process of testing your mental models against reality and asking whether your actions work not just for you, but for the larger systems you are part of. If you’ve ever questioned your values, struggled with inherited beliefs, or wondered how to know whether you are doing the right thing, this episode offers a systems thinking framework for building a moral compass with clarity, humility, and agency.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code IDENTITY20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera explore why everyday disagreements can escalate so quickly. They explain how identity works as a boundary—and why people often feel threatened when their beliefs, opinions, roles, politics, or preferences are challenged. The problem is not disagreement itself, but identity conflation: mistaking what you think, believe, or do for who you are. When that happens, even a simple difference of opinion can feel like an attack on the self. The conversation explores DSRP, identity-other dynamics, emotional reactions, echo chambers, agency, self-awareness, and the difference between reacting automatically and choosing your actions intentionally. They also offer a practical way to notice when your “buttons” are being pushed, separate your reaction from reality, and metabolize conflict into a more thoughtful response. If you want to stop taking things so personally, handle disagreement with more clarity, and protect your sense of self without becoming defensive, this episode offers a systems thinking framework for understanding identity, conflict, and emotional regulation.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code GOOP20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera expand the idea of “goop” beyond food and into the systems all around us. They explore how heavily processed food, social media, education, news, consumer products, and even AI can become forms of goop: things that appear useful, nutritious, or informative, but are often stripped of real value and repackaged in ways that manipulate us. From chicken nuggets and plug-in air fresheners to social media echo chambers and memorization-based schooling, they show how goop replaces real nourishment with convenience, consumption, and passive acceptance. The conversation also explores how parents, teachers, and individuals can build “goop radar” through thinking, metacognition, media literacy, and systems awareness. Instead of simply consuming more information, Derek and Laura argue that we need to help people—especially kids—learn how to organize information, question what they are being fed, and develop character, agency, and adaptive thinking. If you’ve ever wondered why modern life feels overloaded, artificial, or manipulative, this episode gives you a systems thinking lens for seeing the goop—and choosing something better.

Get 25% off any STSI course with code FIGHT25 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera answer a personal question from Training Camp: how do they handle conflict as a couple? They explain how understanding mental models changes the way people disagree. Instead of seeing conflict as “you versus me,” they show how many disagreements are really differences between two mental models—two ways of organizing information and interpreting reality. That shift makes conflict less personal, less emotionally charged, and much easier to work through. The conversation explores emotional regulation, the Love Reality Loop, assumptions, intention, action-reaction dynamics, perspective taking, and the importance of slowing down before reacting. They also show how tools like Is/Is Not Lists, Perspective Circles, and mental model checking can help couples, families, teams, and leaders communicate more clearly. If you want to fight less, understand more, and stop turning assumptions into emotional reactions, this episode offers a practical systems thinking framework for handling conflict with more clarity, honesty, and agency.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code STUDIO20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cabrera Research Lab explore what really happens when we go through change. Using their move to Montana and the new podcast studio as a starting point, they unpack the difference between change itself and the transition into a new reality. They explain why change often feels stressful—not because the change is “bad,” but because our old mental models no longer match the new situation we are living in. The conversation explores expectations, adaptation, identity, perspective shifts, parenting, major life transitions, and the Love Reality Loop. They also discuss why humans often cling to old mental models, how expectations can distance us from reality, and why identity can feel unstable when our roles, environments, or relationships change. If you are starting a new job, moving, sending a child to college, becoming a parent, entering a new life stage, or simply trying to adapt to a changing reality, this episode gives you a systems thinking framework for navigating transition with more clarity, agency, and self-awareness.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code PATTERN20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore why the same problems keep showing up in organizations, relationships, and teams—even when they look different on the surface. They break down the difference between an instantiation and a pattern, showing how people often get stuck solving individual conflicts, communication breakdowns, or “fires” without seeing the deeper structural issue that keeps producing them. Using systems thinking, metaphors, analogies, fractals, and shared mental models, they explain why repeated problems are usually not separate problems at all—they are manifestations of the same underlying system. The conversation also explores why culture is the real unit of analysis in many organizational issues, how shared mental models help people coordinate even when they are not directly interacting, and why being “too busy” is often a sign that you are stuck at the symptom level. If you’ve ever felt like you’re dealing with the same issue over and over again, this episode gives you a systems thinking lens for finding the pattern—and changing the structure that keeps recreating it.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code NEURO20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore neurodivergence through a systems thinking lens. Derek reflects on what it means to understand your own mind, why neurodivergence itself is not the problem, and how friction often comes from living inside systems designed around the neurotypical norm. They discuss structure, self-knowledge, masking, passive aggression, focus, hyperfocus, and why learning how your brain works can be a powerful “cheat code” for navigating school, work, relationships, and life. The conversation also explores what neurodivergent kids need to hear early: that they are different, not defective—and that the goal is not to become “normal,” but to understand themselves, play their own hand, and build a life around who they actually are. If you’ve ever felt like your brain works differently, or you care about someone who does, this episode offers a grounded and empowering systems thinking framework for understanding neurodivergence, self-awareness, and human difference.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code OOT20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explain the power of OOTing: object-oriented thinking. They explore why getting ideas out of your head and into visible, movable objects—whether blocks, drawings, sticky notes, whiteboards, or even visual objects in your mind—can dramatically improve thinking, communication, and understanding. By making mental models visible, OOTing helps people stop conflating parts with wholes, see relationships more clearly, and build shared meaning with others. The conversation also breaks down why ordinary meetings often fail: people share information, but not the structure of their thinking. OOTing changes that by helping teams build a shared mental model in real time, reducing confusion and improving execution. If you want to think more clearly, communicate better, and get people truly on the same page, this episode gives you a practical systems thinking tool for making invisible ideas visible.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code ISISNOT20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University break down one of the simplest and most powerful systems thinking tools: the Is/Is Not List. They explain why this move is not just about making a list, but about building a strong distinction—one that clarifies what something fundamentally is, what it is not, and where the boundary really belongs. From leadership and management to safety, AI, systems thinking, and even the classic “is a hot dog a sandwich?” debate, they show how unclear distinctions create confusion, misalignment, and downstream problems. The conversation also explores the difference between an Is/Is Not List and a Zoom In, how to test a distinction using the “always/never” rule, and why shared definitions are essential for teams, organizations, and everyday life. If you want to think more clearly, communicate more precisely, and prevent costly misunderstandings before they happen, this episode gives you a practical tool for doing exactly that.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code LIST20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore one of the simplest but most powerful thinking tools we use every day: lists. They break down why lists are more than just a way to remember tasks—they are a systems thinking tool that helps us distinguish what matters, break overwhelming wholes into manageable parts, and create perspective on what actually needs to get done. From moving, parenting, schoolwork, and sleepless nights to shared family lists and the dopamine hit of checking things off, they show how lists help turn mental chaos into structure. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed trying to keep everything in your head, this episode explains why getting it out of your mind and into a list can reduce stress, create clarity, and help you take action.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code FEEDBACK20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore what happens when someone gives you difficult feedback—and why your first reaction may not be the most useful one. Starting with a question about being perceived as “argumentative,” they unpack the difference between reacting and understanding, how our internal voice can interfere with genuine listening, and why self-awareness is one of the most powerful skills we can develop. The conversation dives into metacognition, emotional reactions, feedback, defensive thinking, and the importance of separating reality from the stories we tell ourselves about it. They also explore how many of our thoughts, judgments, and habits originate from voices we've adopted over time, and why curiosity—not self-criticism—is the key to understanding ourselves more clearly. If you want to communicate better, receive feedback more effectively, and develop greater agency over your thoughts, feelings, and actions, this episode offers a powerful systems thinking framework for doing exactly that.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code TEAM20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University answer a common leadership question: why do talented people often struggle to work together as a team? They explore the difference between a group and a true team, showing how friction, duplicate effort, competing priorities, and communication breakdowns often stem from one root cause: misaligned mental models. Using systems thinking and DSRP, they break down how people can use the same words, work on the same problem, and still be operating from completely different understandings of reality. The conversation explores shared mental models, perspective taking, priorities, communication, and why the strongest teams are not built through harder work, but through better understanding. If you lead a team, work on a team, or want to improve collaboration in any area of life, this episode offers a powerful systems thinking framework for getting everyone moving in the same direction.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code CULTURE20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore a powerful idea: culture may be the single greatest advantage an organization can create—and most leaders fundamentally misunderstand how it works. Starting with an unexpected question about marketing, they unpack why changing minds—not promoting products—is the real work behind both marketing and leadership. They explore how organizational culture emerges whether you shape it or not, why shared mental models matter more than policies or processes, and how leaders can intentionally build cultures that create alignment, adaptability, and better decision-making. They also dive into vision, mission, incentives, culture campaigns, and why organizations with the same people and same resources can produce radically different outcomes simply because of culture. If you’ve ever wondered why some organizations thrive while others struggle despite having similar resources, this episode offers a systems thinking lens for understanding what’s really happening.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code YODA20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore the difference between “trying” and “doing”—and why that distinction matters more than most people think. They unpack how words like “trying” or “I didn’t mean to” can function as subtle ways of avoiding reality, ownership, and feedback. Through examples from parenting, communication, goals, and relationships, they show how systems thinking helps us see the mental models underneath our language and behavior. The conversation also dives into listening, integrity, and the difference between reacting automatically and choosing your actions with awareness. If you want better communication, stronger ownership, and more alignment between what you say and what you do, this episode gives you a sharper way to think about it.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code SYSTHINK20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University tackle three common misconceptions that stop people from becoming systems thinkers. They explore the difference between unconsciously using DSRP patterns and purposefully applying them with awareness, why more information does not automatically lead to better understanding, and how hidden “externalities” distort the way we make decisions. Through examples ranging from neuromarketing and AI to education, relationships, and organizational leadership, they show how people often miss the underlying structure and patterns driving outcomes. The conversation also dives into the Love Reality Loop, the limits of the “5 Ws,” and why failing to think structurally creates enormous hidden costs in time, energy, relationships, and decision-making. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by information, trapped in repeating patterns, or skeptical about whether systems thinking is worth the effort, this episode explains why learning to see structure may be one of the highest-leverage skills you can develop.

In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore one of the most difficult systems thinking challenges in relationships: understanding responsibility for our emotions. They unpack the dynamic between action and reaction, why emotional regulation creates agency and empowerment, and how faulty mental models can lead people to either take responsibility for everyone else’s feelings—or none of their own. Through ideas like “buttons,” emotional wounds, constructive vs. destructive conflict, and the Love Reality Loop, they show how awareness, communication, and metacognition transform the way we navigate relationships. They also explore why feedback from reality matters more than protecting your ego, how hubris blocks growth, and why the healthiest relationships are built on constructive conflict, honesty, and openness to changing your mental models. If you’ve ever struggled with conflict, emotional triggers, or feeling misunderstood in relationships, this episode offers a systems-level framework for understanding yourself—and others—more clearly.

Get 20% off any STSI course with code CRISIS20 — become a systems thinker today! In this episode, Drs. Derek and Laura Cabrera of Cornell University explore how to think through moments of crisis using systems thinking. They break down a critical first step—questioning whether something is truly a crisis or a product of inflated thinking—and show how unchecked mental models and worst-case assumptions can create unnecessary stress. Using the DSRP framework, they walk through how to set boundaries, break a crisis into parts, examine relationships, and take multiple perspectives to regain clarity and control. They also explore why slowing down is essential in complex and turbulent situations, how misjudging your level of agency can make things worse, and why aligning with reality—rather than reacting to imagined outcomes—is the key to navigating difficult moments effectively. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by a situation spiraling out of control, this episode gives you a practical, systems-level way to see it clearly and take action.