Office White Noise

Just another makeup Monday

The data never lies – The data never lies, but your colleagues will be annoyed if you say this to them.

It is what it is – Much too flippant to say in a business meeting. Only say this around your friends.

Failure is not an option – You’ll feel like you’re starring with Ed Harris in Apollo 13 if you hear this line.

Teamwork makes the dream work – At least this one is funny. But it would be hard to hear in a meeting without laughing out loud.

Earning your chops – I’ve seen far too many resumes with this phrase lately. Better to leave off the cliches when attempting to land a job in a creative field.

Burning the candle at both ends – How about just say that you’re working hard?

Pick your brain – This one has a rather zombie-like appeal.

Am I the only one picturing Super Mario Bros?

“You can’t separate peace from freedom, because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom." - Malcom X

My door is always open – Anyone who says this usually means anything but.

* Put your ducks in a row – Those who are easily distracted can’t hear this without picturing momma ducks and their ducklings. Sitting in a row next to the grains of salt by the Alaskan pipeline.

Run it up the flagpole – Proof that some phrases never die. How was your Flag Day! Did you follow flag code?

Get granular – Oh, just stop saying this. I picture grains of sugar and salt.

Put it in the pipeline – Would that be the Alaskan version?

Going forward – This means next. Say next.

Paradigm shift – This one quickly became overused after several books were published with the phrase in the title.

This one is popular in government. Those silos. Are they full of grain?

Oh, the sports metaphors. They’ll never die.

Stop using it. Please. Instead, say that you’ll do it later.