GIRLBLOGGER: THE PODCAST

Mother is mothering!!! Yes, not one, but TWO mothers to the gay community have become mothers themselves! Both Lady Gaga and Lena Dunham have welcomed children to planet E. Yay, mamas! After I congratulate them and comment on my personal disdain for children, I then of course have to talk about yet another icon's passing. We unfortunately lost Bob Mackie. He was the ultimate costume designer whom invented the word "iconic" with his artistry. Sad!!! Next up, I discuss the Emmys - or more so, the mind-bending ensemble that Shailene Woodley wore to the Emmys... WOAH. After that, I talk about why Practical Magic 2 (2026) wasn't a good movie, but I make sure to clarify that it is not NEARLY as bad as The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026). Thank god! Then I declare that everyone should be aware that Rebecca Black is BACK, baby. Her new single "Hot Wet Delirious" is all I listen to now. Lastly, I give my hot take on Sydney Sweeney's new "sports" ad. Will this girl ever put her tits away? Listen now! <3

Guess what?! More death. Yes, sadly this week we lost the feminist icon, Gloria Steinem. Believe it or not, she did WAY MORE than have a guest appearance on season 2, episode 4 of And Just Like That... As Che Diaz would say, she was always "stepping her pu$$y up". After that, I get to talking about the scandalous cancellation of John Galliano's Met museum exhibit. Will this man ever be able to redeem himself?! It appears not. However, he will always have a legacy of great gowns... beautiful gowns. Next, I talk about everyone's latest true crime obsession, Lindsay Clancy. This woman's life story is even worse than the story of Precious based on the novel Push by Sapphire! Also, the verdict of her case is yet to be unanimously decided. To lighten the mood, I then switch topics and talk about Miley Cyrus's new music video. She looks very good! Lastly, I talk about the new, unsettling film Buddy (2026) which brings any nightmares you had about Barney the dinosaur to life in horrifying detail. Listen now! <3

It's a sick, cruel, and unfair world... Dolly Parton has died. I spend a large portion of this episode paying my respects to the blonde, busty artist that she was, while also sharing all of her greatest and most generous accomplishments. Oh, but guess what?! More people died! I also discuss the loss of the beloved actor, Tim Curry. Be sure to pour SEVERAL drinks out for these cultural icons. Next, I switch things up by discussing how Addison Rae might in fact be God based on her recent Instagram caption. After that, I touch on AnnaLynne McCord's wedding and how she and her husband LITERALLY encouraged people to fund the ceremony through a website called "Honeyfund". How sick! Listen now <3

Hi! My name is Chanty Beluga! Did you know Gwyneth Paltrow is throwing a dinner in my honor at her Hamptons home? L-O-L ... Before I get into the lore of the new internet star named *Chanty Beluga*, we first must pay our respects to the late and great, Hayden Panettiere. Hayden is unfortunately one of several great child stars that has recently left us way too soon. After I share all of the details and theories surrounding Hayden's death, I get into the new vocal stim that is sweeping the nation... Chanty Beluga. Sometimes the world's greatest stars are just the kooky-named girl next door. Next, I talk about Lindsay Lohan's new beauty/skincare line while reminiscing about her past self-tanner, Sevin Nyne. Was I the only person that loved that sh!t? Also, I cant help but mention Kaia Gerber's recent story she shared about an exorcism being performed on her with a didgeridoo as a child. DA F**K?! In fashion news, Chanel ambassador Margaret Qualley recently wore the brand's dumbest pair of "shoes" ever. Google it. Lastly, I discuss the newest Practical Magic 2 (2026) trailer and how it gave me hope that the film would not be a complete train wreck. Listen now! <3

Oh no! Another Disney adult has taken their fanfic too far and practically assaulted the poor twink portraying Peter Pan at Disneyland last week! I kick off this episode by giving everyone the scoop on @babytoni99 and her disturbing fondness for waifish lost boys that live in Neverland. After that, I spill the tea on the urgent matters surrounding the potential Barbie sequel, and what I believe should happen if there's a follow up film. Barbie should have s€x! Next up, Brad Pitt is drinking again after seven years of sobriety and I support this. Would love to party with him now that he's back on the sauce! Then I dive into the new film, Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026), and explain that while I love the movie, I may be annoyed with the film's director. Lastly, I go off about how boring and uninspired the latest Vogue cover is. I mean Kaia Gerber is hot, but wtf is this sh!t?! Listen now <3

James Haven is gay! "Who is that", you ask? Why, he's the brother of Angelina Jolie, who mouth kissed her on the red carpet back in 2000 at The Oscars. After congratulating James on his homosexuality, I then dive into the vary harrowing topic of Perez Hilton's gruesome mental breakdown on TikTok live. This might be the spookiest public meltdown of all time, so we wish that both Perez and his family can heal from this travesty. On a lighter note, Tate McRae made quite the deceptive sponcon video the other day. DID THE MAKEUP WIPE EVEN TOUCH HER FACE?! Next, I finally get to discussing not only Ariana Grande's new album, Petal, but also the public discourse surrounding her skinny body. We are rooting for you, Ari! Then I move on to talking about my new favorite Gregg Araki film, I Want Your Sex (2026). I suddenly want to have a dom/sub relationship with my kinky artist employer! Lastly, you get to hear my hot take on the announcement that the 2027 Met Gala theme will center around John Galliano. Listen now <3

I'm still complaining about Taylor Swift's wedding!!! Well, mainly just comparing it to Emma Roberts' recent wedding to Cody John, and how this type of soiree is the chic event Taylor SHOULD have thrown. I digress... After that, I touch on the recent trend of celebrity kids dropping their father's last names. In the case of Suri Noelle (née Cruise), I understand because I too would not want to have any association to the church of scientology! Next up, I discuss The Invite (2026) and how straight people might actually be just as slutty as gay people. Do you know any heteros that are members of "the lifestyle"? Then I touch on my fondness for Charli XCX's new Album, Music Fashion Film, and how David Lynch should have been on the album cover (may he RIP). Lastly, I tell everyone to go watch the new white woman/wine show called The 5-Star Weekend on Peacock. It kinda sucks but it reminds me of home! Listen now <3

The Odyssey sucked!!!!!!!!!!!! I start out this episode by apologizing for missing last week due my trip to NYC. I saw Oh Mary! and it was f**king incredible. There was a slight hiccup though... Meg Stalter almost didn't perform due to bronchitis! Thank god our girl pulled through. After that, I make sure to address that Lindsey Graham died and how the internet treated the death like a comedy bit. He was gayer than a Care Bear! Next, I talk about my new hero, Robin Byrd, and her hot, new documentary, Bang My Box (2026) on HBO. This woman was a regular Elizabeth Taylor when it came to gay advocacy! Then I have no choice but to talk about my bleak experience in watching The Odyssey (2026). I feel like everyone is lying to themselves... did y'all really understand what the f**k was going on in this movie?! Lastly, I touch on the final installment of Jackass - Jackass: Best and Last. While this movie is definitely the weakest of the franchise, at least you get to see Chris Pontius's dick. Listen now! <3

MADISON SQUARE F**KING GARDEN?! Where will their honeymoon be? At The Sphere in Vegas?? This episode contains a lot of complaints and criticisms about a certain celebrity wedding that recently occurred in NYC. However, before I bitch about that, I have a little Lindsay Lohan update. Not only is our girl 40, but there is also a Parent Trap sequel in development. My feelings on this are mixed, but excited for Lindsay, nevertheless. After the Lindsay news, I really lean into hating on Taylor Swift and her first husband's wedding. Basically, this wedding is the type of party the Plus Size Park Hoppers would throw if you gave them unlimited funds and no boundaries. After that, I talk about more exciting news: Madonna's new album, Confessions II. Even though I will argue that the music video is the best part of this album's rollout, I am still very thankful that mama Madonna is the #1 pop girlie of the moment after so many years. Finally, I end the episode by sharing my thoughts on the new Legally Blonde (2001) prequel series, Elle (2026- ). Guess what? I HATE IT. Listen now! <3

BREAKING: Jussie Smollett and Karamo Brown are a couple. There hasn't been this iconic of a liar duo since Milli Vanilli! I start off this episode with an update on our girl, Daveigh Chase (it's not good), and then I swiftly dive into deep shit-talking about the new gay it couple that is Jussie and Karamo. Do we think they will commit to each other as fiercely as Jussie committed to his false narrative?! After that, I switch topics and give my review of Steven Spielberg's Disclosure Day (2026). I didn't hate it! In fact, I love the silly click noises Emily Blunt was able to do with her mouth, in addition to her compelling American accent. Next, I give my less positive review on Couture (2026) starring Angelina Jolie. The movie is sh!t, but hey, Angelina looks hotter than ever! Lastly, I have to highlight how Britney Spears' son's, Sean Preston and Jayden, are the fresh hot models of Paris fashion week! I'm hoping they are the new male nepo baby version of the Hadids. Listen now! <3

Helena Bonham Carter won't stop farting!!! Or at least that's what the internet is alleging. I start off this episode by getting into The White Lotus season 4 casting drama, and the bizarre details as to why Laura Dern has replaced Helena. After that, I discuss why male rhinoplasties can be a social misstep - as exemplified by that douchebag, Clavicular. Next up is Lizzo's new album that is performing poorly to say the least. By the way, did or did Lizzo not stick a banana up her pu$$y?! Please advise. Then I give an in depth analysis on the fascinating new bulimia centric film called Maddie's Secret (2025). It wasn't as funny as I had hoped, but John Early did deliver a performance that was almost too compelling. Lastly, Olivia Rodrigo is tearing a page out of Sarah McLachlan's book. No, she is not starring in sad charity commercials about dying animals, but instead she is creating her very own Lilith Fair. Olivia's festival will be called Daisy Chain Fields and it will be held in Irvine, CA come late August. See y'all there! Listen now <3

STORMAGANZA AHEAD!!! This week I talk about a lot of upsetting things, but my snarky attitude makes them palatable (I think?). Sadly, we have to pour one out for another child star gone too soon. Daveigh Chase, the beloved actress who scared the shit out of us in The Ring (2002) has passed away. I can't take all this heartbreak! Thankfully, to lighten things up, I discuss the new outrageous comedy film, Stop! That! Train! (2026), and let you all know that Delta Work is WRONG and this movie is amazing. Next up, I discuss why the latest Scary Movie (2026) installment is a bit disappointing. A damn shame! After that, I get into the most hair-raising documentary called Maternal Instinct (2026) that is all about a psychotic southern belle who lies incessantly and committed fetal abduction. She also shops at Torrid! After that, I touch on Gwyneth Paltrow's brutal faux pas and why she has earned the new nickname "Gwynocide". Lastly, I bring up the viral resurfacing of Tyra Banks' book, Modelland. Tyra will never let anyone tell her there's something she can't do! Listen now <3

I'm pretty sure I said the word "gay" at least 500 times this episode. Did you know it's pride month?! I kick off this week's episode with a surprising brand partnership between Tom Brady and new coconut water called "Good Nut". A lot of people think coco water already tastes like semen, so why not just call it like it is! After that, I detail my takeaways from the new horror movie, Backrooms (2026), and why its concept is so unsettling. Does anyone remember the hellish children's play center called "Leaps and Bounds"? It's a very triggering memory! Next, I remind everyone that the new Kylie Minogue 3-part documentary on Netflix is the perfect thing to put on during pride month. My favorite part of the doc is when Kylie exemplifies how to look your hottest at an ex's funeral! Lastly, to highlight gay art, I recommend a list of content everyone can either discover or revisit to honor the gays. Long live Judy Garland!!! Listen now <3

WHY DIDN'T LAURIE BECOME A POP STAR?! This deep dive episode is dedicated to everyone's favorite sleazy saga, Euphoria. While me and my bestie, Connor (@connorxbowman), would have liked to unpack Euphoria in its entirety, we only had enough breaths in us to focus on season 3. What a season it was! We talk about everything from the internet's hot takes, to Cassie's 50 foot woman tits, to Laurie's potential career endeavors had she not (spoiler!) hanged herself. She could've been the next Miss Rachel! Listen now <3

Lions, and tigers, and Azealia Banks wearing a crop top that says "lobotomy" in Hebrew - oh my! I kick this week's episode off by dissecting the recent viral video of Judi Jupiter abruptly interviewing Azealia Banks in NYC. Who knew that Azealia can play [kinda] nice sometimes! After that, I happily go on about Demna's latest Gucci show, but more specifically, how good Lindsay Lohan looked in attendance. Scrunched curls are back, baby! Next up is the scandalous new Netflix documentary, The Crash. Word to the wise - if you want to prove to the world that you're a rebellious bad girl... crashing your car into a brick wall with others in the vehicle is NOT the way to do it! Get a tattoo next time. Lastly, I talk about my fondness for Charli XCX's "SS26" music video, and Ariana Grande's polarizing new song "Hate That I Made You Love Me". Is the song about her Spongebob boyfriend or not?! Listen now <3

LOOK OUT TAYLOR SWIFT! There are two new pop divas to reckon with! The first one being my long time favorite, Trisha Paytas. I start out this episode by discussing Trisha Paytas in detail along with her multitude of career endeavors. What can't she do?! Next up, I get into my other favorite celebrity of the moment, Meg Stalter, and gab about her new hit single "Prettiest Girl In America". The song that will be the anthem of pride month! After that, I switch topics and discuss the new viral horror movie, Obsession (2025). If this movie teaches us anything, it is that it is very possible to make incredible cinema on a micro budget, AND all men are terrified of women once the girl catches feelings. Lastly, I end the episode by touching on John Travolta's latest head accessory (a beret) in Cannes. What was he thinking?! Listen now <3

Just a few updates this week! Charli XCX continues to give us s€xsi, unique, "rock" music, while other people continue to annoy the sh!t out of us. And by "other people" I'm directly referring to Blake Lively and James Charles. This week I kick off the episode by establishing my fondness for Charli's new song "Rock Music" while also clarifying that I'm no longer worried for her post-Brat era discography. After that, I have to b!tch about Blake Lively, Justin Baldoni, and how their recently settled legal battle amounted to nothing but a landslide of negative tweets about the both of them (mainly Blake). Next, James Charles is in hot water yet again for going too HAM on TikTok after a recently laid off flight attendant asked him for money via direct messages. Call me problematic, but I'm kinda team James with this one! Lastly, I have to give an update on our girl, Miss Britney Spears. To all those pu$$ies that claimed to be afraid of her while she was waving a knife around at a Sherman Oaks restaurant the other week - grow a pair! LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE! Listen now <3

The sequel sucked and Lena is in pain! THAT'S ALL!!! This episode I go DEEP on two very significant topics: Anne Hathaway's latest drag coded film, The Devil Wears Prada 2 (2026) and Lena Dunham's seminal new memoir, Famesick. As you can see by the length of this episode, I have a lot to say. I talk about everything from why Miranda Priestly has lost her cool to how Stanley Tucci is too sexy to be on anyone's "ugly f**k list". I also go in on why we should all shame ourselves for shaming Lena Dunham so bad a decade ago, and how sometimes the most unexpected drawback of fame can be your own mother resenting you. Listen now! <3

Madonna is back! Well, actually she never went anywhere, but she's here to tell you she's creating a new persona. One that involves Sabrina Carpenter, evidently. Listen to me get into Coachella weekend 2 and the fabulous duet between these pop divas. I discuss everything from Madge's stolen corset, her new sequel album, and my hot take on her aversion to collaborating with women she feels threatened by. After that, I go off on Anne Hathaway's latest film, Mother Mary (2026), where she plays a sopping wet pop star. Sadly, the film did not live up to my high (gay) expectations. Lastly, I have to touch on the recent Practical Magic 2 (2026) trailer. Why on earth does every fantasy adjacent film these days need to look like some tech nerd produced it on discord?! Bring back good cinematography! Well, I guess I have a lot to b!tch about this episode... Listen now! <3

Hello hello hello! Have you ever willingly made a complete fool of yourself for the slim chance of television stardom? Well, if you have, then you have a lot in common with our modern messiah, Valerie Cherish! Oh yes, this week's episode is all about The Comeback and the show's legendary star. Join me and my bestie, Connor (@connorxbowman), as we discuss all of our favorite aspects of this incredible series, as well as break it down season by season. SPOILER ALERT: season 3 is the weakest, but we are hopeful it'll improve before it fully wraps. We cover everything from Val's beloved red locks, to how much we'd love to see her planted in an episode of Euphoria. God bless Lisa Kudrow. Listen now! <3