Conflict Skills

In this episode, Simon Goode explores practical strategies for young professionals to navigate workplace conflict without harming their reputations, using real-life case studies of early-career employees facing challenges like having their ideas dismissed, feeling undermined, or disagreeing with management decisions. He highlights the importance of self-regulation, assertive communication, and choosing appropriate conflict modes—such as accommodating, collaborating, or compromising—based on situational needs. The episode offers empathetic and actionable guidance, making it a valuable listen for managers and teams seeking to support younger staff in difficult conversations and team dynamics. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Managing workplace conflict for young staff 06:58 GROW coaching model questions 09:16 Reflecting on workplace communication 13:19 Negotiation and compromise strategies 17:02 Discussing assertiveness and communication 19:03 Overcoming Age and Authority Challenges 22:34 Dealing with patronizing comments 28:59 Addressing communication feedback 30:22 Improving Communication and Self-Regulation 34:25 Staying calm in arguments 40:05 Navigating workplace conflict and stress 41:48 Discussing team communication issues Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode examines the challenges of passive-aggressive behavior in the workplace through three case studies: the silent treatment after feedback, backhanded comments in meetings, and staff who agree outwardly but later undermine decisions. He explores practical approaches for HR managers and team leaders, highlighting different conflict types and strategies such as empathetic listening, clarifying expectations, and leveraging structural changes. The episode emphasizes the importance of proactively addressing subtle negative patterns to maintain team cohesion and motivation. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Handling passive-aggressive behavior 06:26 Addressing personal conflict calmly 09:22 Addressing underlying conflict factors 12:47 Dealing with subtle workplace criticism 17:13 Navigating workplace conflict 19:39 Discussing feedback and communication strategies 22:59 Evaluating Team Dynamics and Performance 25:57 Managing Performance Issues Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores the challenges of managing underperforming employees by analyzing three workplace case studies involving declining output, quality issues, and inconsistent performance. He discusses practical frameworks such as the What-Ask-Check model and the GROW coaching model to give and structure negative feedback effectively. The episode emphasizes the need for specificity, empathy, and clear goal-setting when addressing performance concerns in teams. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Addressing performance and incentives 03:34 Handling Performance Issues 07:11 Improving communication in reports 11:53 Addressing Vague Explanations 13:38 Handling workplace conflict and goals 18:46 Managing relationship goals and priorities 21:54 Discussing performance expectations 26:53 Dealing with workplace empathy challenges 28:12 Discussing performance expectations 31:58 Discussing coaching frameworks 34:44 Managing multiple systems in coaching 38:29 Managing team member challenges Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes three workplace conflict case studies centered on unfair workloads, including a passive-aggressive response to feedback, perceptions of favoritism in task allocation, and resentment from covering for a colleague's lack of effort. Simon Goode explores different conflict resolution frameworks such as the GROW coaching model and the five types of conflict: data, interest, value, structure, and relationship. He emphasizes the importance of clarifying expectations, choosing appropriate conflict modes, and building trust through consistent follow-through. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Handling challenging team dynamics 05:10 Addressing passive-aggressive conflict 08:49 Applying the GROW model in coaching 12:10 Handling workplace conflicts 16:43 Addressing workplace conflicts 19:24 Addressing hidden team conflicts 23:59 Resolving workplace conflicts 27:34 Discussing collaboration and conflict modes 31:43 Team tensions and leadership challenges 34:17 Finding a middle ground 38:00 Addressing team communication challenges 40:27 Improving team dynamics and feedback Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores the challenges of generational conflict in the workplace, focusing on differing values, expectations, and communication styles among various age groups. He analyzes three workplace case studies—between a leading hand and apprentice, a team leader and younger staff, and a supervisor and machine operators—and offers practical frameworks for resolving these conflicts. Simon Goode emphasizes the importance of understanding value conflicts and tailoring approaches—such as normalizing differences, clarifying expectations, and choosing the right conflict mode—to achieve better outcomes. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Navigating generational workplace differences 04:15 Analyzing workplace conflict case studies 08:47 Addressing generational work conflicts 13:27 Judging others for phone use 16:12 Giving feedback privately to Jake 17:39 Discussing constructive feedback strategies 23:14 Navigating office policy changes 24:37 Discussing paper-based review cycles 30:35 Balancing tradition with new methods 33:26 Managing conflict with older staff 38:07 Discussing conflict and collaboration strategies 39:39 Podcast interaction reminders Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores common challenges faced by team leaders in managing workplace conflict through three detailed case studies. He analyzes each situation using practical conflict resolution tools, including the five types of conflict and various conflict modes such as collaboration, compromise, and assertiveness. Listeners are offered actionable strategies for navigating value clashes, mediating team disputes, and handling resistance from senior team members. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Introduction to Conflict Skills Podcast 06:34 Adapting management styles 08:59 Discussing team process adjustments 12:19 Handling staff resistance professionally 14:48 Struggles with team collaboration 18:03 Conflicts between Jordan and Sam 21:34 Handling Work Conflicts Thoughtfully 24:39 Using the GROW coaching model 28:00 Choosing compromise as a conflict solution 30:51 Workplace conflict and presenteeism 34:48 Handling team communication issues 38:01 Discussing conflict resolution styles Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode shares practical advice and personal reflections on starting and growing a mediation business, with an emphasis on the early stages and leveraging technology like content marketing and video. He discusses the pros and cons of self-employment in mediation, offering tips for building a client base, setting up a website, and structuring services for sustainability. The episode also emphasizes the importance of work-life integration, clinical supervision, and continuous professional development for long-term success. -------- TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Challenges and benefits of mediation 06:43 Balancing family and business decisions 13:06 Discussing pros and cons of business 18:15 Using podcasts for mediation marketing 26:30 Dealing with daily distractions 29:38 Challenges of running a mediation business 36:41 Dressing for workplace mediation 39:22 Balancing Mediation Work and Income 49:56 Planning Annual Income Goals 51:13 Evaluating pricing strategies for mediators 01:00:57 Handling mediation inquiries 01:06:18 Monthly leadership seminars options 01:12:08 Long-term success and changing priorities 01:14:31 Discussing Mediation Strategies 01:19:10 Different approaches to mediation Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes a listener-submitted case study involving conflict arising from a partner's jealousy over frequent messaging with an old friend. He explores key contributors to such conflicts, including differences in values, trust, and communication styles, and outlines practical conflict resolution tools like clarifying goals, apology frameworks, and the Thomas-Kilmann model for handling disagreements. The episode emphasizes understanding both perspectives and developing multiple options for resolving relationship tension constructively. TIMESTAMPS 00:00 Privacy and phone boundaries 06:05 Dealing with relationship conflicts 08:49 Discussing relationship communication issues 12:53 Defining relationship goals and priorities 14:09 Navigating relationship conflicts 19:37 Discussing relationship and workplace conflict 22:38 Discussing effective apologies 24:54 Communicating with different personality types 27:27 Managing communication and conflict 32:03 Listener interaction and feedback ------------- Sequence of Topics Covered Introduction and Podcast Overview Simon Goode introduces himself and the mission of the podcast 00:15 Encouragement to subscribe and access to free conflict resolution resources Case Study Introduction: The Jealous Girlfriend Situation Origin of the case study: listener email describing conflict in a relationship 00:39 Dynamics of the conflict: boyfriend's friendship with an attractive female friend 00:52 Girlfriend's feelings of jealousy and insecurity Initial confrontation: girlfriend questions boyfriend about frequency of contact 01:16 Discrepancy between boyfriend's report and actual message frequency 01:19 Analysis of Key Contributing Factors Privacy and trust issues around checking partner’s phone 02:56 Value differences in relationships regarding privacy The balance between transparency and personal boundaries Frequency and language in messages as sources of tension 04:28 The subjectivity of affectionate language between friends of different sexes Expectation around how partners interact with friends Impact of past experiences, social circles, and external opinions on reactions 10:25 Influence of friends and family Personal history, such as previous experiences with infidelity or divorce Dissecting the Conflict: Types and Approaches Identifying facets of the conflict 05:51 Frequency of contact Affectionate language The role of emotions and nervous system regulation in escalating conflict 07:55 Defensive reactions Importance of self-regulation Clarifying goals in the conflict 12:02 Immediate and long-term priorities in the relationship Impact on family and social dynamics Sorting goals: for self, for the relationship, for others 13:25 Tools for Resolution and Communication Types of conflict to address 14:32 Data/facts-based conflict: clarifying the truth Values-based conflict: validating diverse perspectives Relationship conflict: addressing underlying patterns and restoring closeness Interests: focusing on actionable, specific solutions Structure: creating systems or rules to reduce tension Exploring Responses and Negotiation Strategies Approaches for negotiating compromise 16:05 Validating perspectives and seeking middle ground Making specific proposals or structural changes (e.g., joint activities, sharing information) Consideration of underlying causes such as lack of information or transparency 19:19 Apology and Relationship Repair Five types of apologies discussed 20:28 Expressing regret (“I’m sorry”) Admitting fault (“I was wrong”) Promising not to repeat the behavior Offering reparative gestures (“What can I do to make it up to you?”) Requesting forgiveness (“Would you please forgive me?”) Importance of meaningful apologies and avoiding dismissiveness Personality Differences and Their Impact Using the Big Five personality traits to understand reactions 24:20 Openness, conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, extraversion Impact of individual sensitivity, compliance, or anxiety 24:35 Conflict Styles and Assertiveness Explanation of Thomas-Kilmann Conflict Modes 26:08 Competing/directing: maintaining firm boundaries Accommodating: giving in to partner’s requests Compromising: meeting halfway Avoiding: postponing or sidestepping the conflict Collaborating: seeking creative win-win solutions Pros and cons of various approaches 28:39 The risk of delayed resolution versus benefits of closure Practical Application and Personal Reflection Encouraging listeners to reflect on their own relationship dynamics 31:33 Emphasis on tailoring conflict resolution frameworks to individual needs Invitation for feedback and further case study submissions 31:58 Closing Summary of key points 32:29 Gratitude to listeners and encouragement to interact with the podcast Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes a case study involving business partners Maya and Tom, whose differing visions for their agency lead to escalating conflict and operational challenges. Simon Goode breaks down the situation using the five types of conflict and discusses practical reflective tools, negotiation tactics, and structural solutions to help navigate such dilemmas. The episode emphasizes the importance of meta-analysis, clear communication, and empathy in resolving conflicts within business partnerships. TIMESTAMP: 00:00 Understanding and resolving conflicts 06:45 Managing personal conflict responses 07:42 Reflective practice and meta-analysis 11:31 Negotiating budget and interests 17:18 Processing short-term impacts of conflict 21:07 Setting and Revising Personal Goals 24:30 Balancing business with personal goals 27:22 Handling information conflicts 31:18 Addressing Child Safety in Families 33:03 Discussing relationship and communication dynamics 36:55 Considering different management strategies 39:23 Closing remarks and contact info Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores practical de-escalation skills for managing conflict and strong emotions in both professional and everyday situations. He emphasizes techniques like using a calm tone, mindful body language, and strategies to reinforce status, certainty, autonomy, relatedness, and fairness. Through personal anecdotes and actionable advice, Simon Goode highlights the importance of self-regulation and understanding in defusing tense conversations. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Using de-escalation in leadership 04:15 Introducing Shelley the Dog 09:52 Reflecting on de-escalation strategies 12:53 Managing Uncertainty and De-Escalation 13:50 How to calm difficult conversations 17:46 Using calming body language 24:25 Managing conflict with communication skills 27:23 Encouraging collaboration and fairness 30:43 Handling customer complaints professionally 33:39 Managing tasks until next meeting 35:28 Balancing autonomy and input 41:23 Discussing de-escalation strategies 42:19 Conflict resolution resources Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode reflects on common mistakes husbands make in relationship conflicts, such as poor listening, not staying calm, misidentifying conflict types, adopting the wrong conflict approach, and failing to repair relationships after disagreements. He shares practical frameworks like the EAR (Explore, Acknowledge, Respond) listening strategy and discusses techniques for self-regulation, apology, and moving forward after conflict. The episode encourages self-reflection and adaptability in conflict resolution to foster healthier relationships. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Reflecting on relationship mistakes 03:08 Trying new note-taking methods 07:53 Types of questions in communication 13:35 Managing stress in conversations 17:35 Understanding conflict and calmness 19:48 Understanding conflict and self-regulation 25:28 Mindfulness and staying present 27:25 Approaching conflict differently 31:21 Discussing Parenting and Communication 33:24 Discussing relationship communication strategies 36:10 Common mistakes in conflict resolution 40:43 Five conflict resolution strategies 45:10 Resolving conflict with apologies 47:05 Types of effective apologies 49:18 Improving apologies and moving forward 54:00 Navigating relationship conflicts 58:00 Reflecting on relationship mindset Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes a workplace conflict case study involving a cross-department dispute over an aggressive project deadline in a manufacturing company. He explores the roles of interests, structure, relationship dynamics, and different conflict modes—including competing, compromising, and collaborating—in resolving the issues between engineering and production teams. Simon Goode also highlights practical negotiation concepts like BATNA and the importance of clear, future-focused communication to rebuild trust and improve cooperation. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Engineering lead responsibilities 03:51 Debating Project Deadlines and Priorities 09:43 Exploring Jordan's negotiation options 13:39 Clarifying expectations and communication 14:42 Resolving workplace conflicts Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores a real-life case study of a client requesting a discount for mediation services, analyzing the situation using conflict resolution frameworks. He breaks down the negotiation through the five types of conflict—value, data, interest, structure, and relationship—and discusses strategies like collaboration, compromise, and assertiveness. Simon Goode emphasizes the importance of considering one's alternatives (BATNA) and maintaining clear boundaries when responding to discount requests. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Discussing pricing and client negotiations 04:19 Managing client misunderstandings 09:56 Discussing an interest conflict 13:33 Improving client communication strategies 15:21 External factors affecting responses 19:45 Negotiating client compromises 21:10 Conflict resolution strategies 25:26 Discussing negotiation strategies Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes a workplace conflict case study involving a dispute over strict in-office attendance requirements versus requests for flexible remote work. He breaks down the dynamics between team lead Marcus and high-performing analyst Priya, exploring structural, value, and interest-based sources of conflict and suggesting approaches for resolution. The episode also highlights practical conflict modes such as avoidance, accommodation, compromise, competition, and collaboration to manage similar workplace issues. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Addressing workplace conflict scenarios 03:59 Discussing attendance and value conflicts 10:24 Discussing flexibility in negotiations 12:28 Debate on company expectations 16:08 Outcomes of Workplace Conflict 18:58 Speculating on Priya's situation 22:37 Checking in on relationship dynamics 26:19 Resolving workplace role conflicts 27:53 Work from home conflicts advice Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode analyzes a workplace conflict case study involving a senior strategist and a junior team member navigating issues of credit-stealing and strained collaboration. Simon Goode explores different frameworks for understanding and resolving value, data, and interest conflicts within teams, emphasizing the importance of clarifying expectations and rebuilding trust through specific, actionable plans. The episode also discusses strategies for assertiveness, empathetic listening, and when to consider escalating issues or bringing in external mediation. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Navigating workplace hierarchy and roles 04:03 Clarifying roles and expectations 06:47 Discussing presentation and collaboration issues 09:51 Conflict resolution strategies 13:18 Rethinking work-life balance 16:40 Collaborative conflict resolution strategies 22:46 Discussing conflict resolution strategies 24:36 Discussing management communication strategies Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode outlines the importance of setting clear ground rules for workplace mediation to foster productive and respectful conversations. He explains his collaborative approach to developing these guidelines, emphasizing rules such as no interrupting, no insults, and avoiding assumptions, while also discussing adjustments for more contentious cases. The episode provides practical advice for mediators, HR professionals, and managers on structuring discussions and managing challenging dynamics in workplace conflicts. 00:00 Setting Ground Rules for Meetings 03:50 Setting ground rules for discussions 09:14 Dealing with contentious cases 13:23 Managing Meeting Conflicts 16:08 Discussing mediation agenda setup 17:53 Mediation ground rules discussion 21:20 Audience feedback request Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores the topic of rumination, particularly in the context of conflict, and demonstrates his personal reflective practice to address intrusive thoughts. He walks through Terry O’Connell’s four restorative justice questions as a practical framework for understanding and moving past mistakes, using his own recent podcasting misstep as an example. The episode highlights the importance of self-reflection, understanding cognitive patterns in conflict, and applying structured techniques to reduce rumination and promote personal growth. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Rumination on workplace conflicts 04:38 Restorative justice program discussion 09:48 Dealing with podcast anxiety 12:46 Understanding Workplace Conflict Dynamics 14:35 Admitting to a podcast mistake 18:49 Reflecting on justifying my actions 23:31 Editing and self-doubt in podcasting 27:06 Reflecting on mental health perspectives 28:31 Reflecting on self-awareness and judgment 33:49 Reflecting on past actions 35:15 Addressing Past Mistakes Reflective practice is one of the most effective tools for dealing with rumination—especially when it stems from conflict situations at work. In the latest episode of the Conflict Skills Podcast, I unpack my own recent experience with rumination after an honest mistake on the podcast, and demonstrate the four-question reflective technique I rely on to break the negative thought cycle. Here are three key takeaways that might help you when you find yourself stuck in rumination: Structure Your Reflection: Use a simple, four-question framework (borrowed from restorative justice) to guide your self-inquiry: What happened? What were you thinking at the time? What have you been thinking about since? What needs to happen to make it right? Focus on Objectivity and Nuance: When you revisit the “what happened” question, keep coming back to the objective facts, resisting the urge to justify or catastrophize. This helps introduce nuance and reduce the black-and-white thinking often tied to rumination. Plan Concrete Actions for Resolution: Don’t just reflect—ask yourself what practical steps are needed to make it right, even if you can’t change the past. Sometimes an apology, improved process, or small act of restitution can help you restore your own peace of mind. We all react imperfectly under stress, but having a reflective routine helps us move forward with more grace and responsibility. If you’re interested in developing your own conflict skills or want additional resources on handling workplace challenges, check out the latest episode or get in touch! Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

On today's Conflict Skills Podcast, we explored the power of the "preemptive thank you wave"—a communication technology I developed to assume the best in people before conflict even starts. By showing empathy and gratitude ahead of time, you can transform interactions, unlock opportunities, and get better outcomes in business and life. Whether you’re dealing with customers, teams, or strangers, try preemptive empathy. It’s a mindset shift that opens doors you didn’t even know existed. Want more tools for effective conflict resolution? Hit subscribe and join us next time 😊. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Risky street crossing stories 03:19 Teenage pranks and consequences 08:32 Mindset shift to preemptive empathy 11:14 Impact of mindset on brain activity 13:32 Trying to cancel a hotel booking 17:22 Impact of Modern Communication Tech Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

In this episode, Simon Goode explores strategies for managing pushy clients, particularly those with unrealistic expectations or disruptive behaviors. He introduces tools such as types of conflict, the Thomas-Kilmann conflict modes, and adjusting one’s perspective, using a real client situation as an example. By reflecting on emotional triggers and structured options, Simon demonstrates how to respond thoughtfully rather than react impulsively. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Benefits of a structured process 04:43 Understanding relationship conflict with clients 07:29 Reflecting on email communications 13:39 Addressing workshop coordination issues 15:28 Pricing strategy and client communication 19:24 Handling client payment issues 24:15 Discussing collaboration and promotion options 27:40 Reflecting and planning for the future 30:04 Understanding Thoughts and Feelings 33:39 Managing stress through self-care Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com

Welcome to the Conflict Skills Podcast, hosted by professional mediator Simon Goode. This episode marks a personal milestone, as Simon Goode reflects on his 45th birthday and the lessons learned through years of mediating conflict in both personal and professional settings. Drawing from hundreds of mediations—from business disputes to family disagreements—Simon Goode shares key insights about effective listening, self-regulation, and the importance of language. He delves into how frameworks and models can help us “zoom in” or “zoom out” when analyzing conflict, and explores broader philosophical questions about consciousness, perception, and the complexity of human behavior. Whether you’re looking to improve your conflict resolution skills at work or at home, this episode offers practical takeaways, honest reflections, and a reminder that understanding ourselves is at the heart of managing disputes successfully. TIMESTAMPS: 00:00 Workplace conflict and self-regulation 03:07 Emphasizing the power of listening 09:24 Learning to manage reactions 13:12 Understanding conflict through frameworks 15:15 The importance of language in conflict 19:22 Nuance in conflict resolution 23:49 Exploring ethics and free will 25:30 Embracing curiosity in neuroscience Click here to send me a quick message via FanMail Support the show Thank you so much for listening! I'd love to know what you think and connect. website: simongoode.com email: podcast@simongoode.com