The Gay Buddhist Forum by GBF

In this reflection on retreat life, four GBF community members explore how taking time away from our relentless routines, news cycles, and digital devices offers a quiet sanctuary to examine our habits and cultivate genuine peace. Rather than an escape, a retreat serves as a vital "laboratory for daily life"—a container where the cloudy, stirred-up waters of our busy minds can finally settle so we can see the deep substrate beneath. By immersing ourselves in extended silence, noble heart practices, and simple daily rituals, we reconnect with a thousands-year-old lineage and experience the profound benefits of collective practice: Clearing Sensory Overload : Stepping back from constant stimulation allows our habitual mental chatter to quiet down, revealing clearer insights into how our minds work. Anchoring in Loving-Kindness ( Metta ) : Focusing on simple phrases of goodwill—wishing that all beings be happy, healthy, safe, and free—transforms both sitting and walking meditation into a deep practice of love. Forging Deep, Silent Community : Sharing quiet meals, silent meditation, and heart-centered connection exercises builds an unseen bond of trust and intimacy across the Sangha without the strain of social performance. Transforming Everyday Moments : The clarity and patience we cultivate on retreat directly spill over into our ordinary lives, turning everyday delays—like waiting for the bus or sitting in traffic—into opportunities for mindfulness and generosity. Ultimately, going on retreat gives us a powerful chance to "level up" our practice and return to our daily lives re-energized, softer, and more present. Whether we are chanting ancient Pali verses or engaging in heartfelt group sharing when silence is released, the gifts we receive on retreat naturally ripple out to benefit everyone around us. With our upcoming Fall Retreat September 25-27, 2026 featuring teacher Prasadachitta, we have a wonderful opportunity to step back into this transformative space, test these teachings in our own lives, and bring the Dharma vividly to life. SPEAKERS: Cass Brayton Henry Rabinowitz Matthew Perifano Tom Bruein ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

This talk is a preview of the GBF Fall Retreat: Our Belonging to Kindness: Awakening to the World We Carry Together , September 25-27, 2026. ______________ How do we take ancient, highly analytical Buddhist teachings and make them truly land in our everyday, modern lives? In this warm and deeply personal talk, Prasadachitta helps us imagine what it must have been like to be in the presence of the Buddha, hearing him speak directly to us in language that is easily understood. He invites us to step away from academic perfectionism and instead embrace the Buddha’s “come and see” invitation to experience a colloquial relationship with the Dharma. Prasadachitta explains that he isn’t concerned with strict historical or translation accuracy. Instead, he feels empowered as a practitioner to make these teachings real in his own life, letting the translated phrases of the Karaniya Metta Sutta shift and be rephrased depending on how they “hit” him, trusting that actual practice will naturally self-correct any misunderstandings. To remind us that the Dharma is built to be accessible, he shares the traditional qualities of teaching from the Dharma Vandana , proving that the truth is always meant to be practical: Intelligible and Well-Communicated : The Buddha always met people where they were, using everyday language and lived experiences (like those of farmers or kings) so we can actually do something with what is being communicated. Experienced Here and Now : It is a testable path that we can start practicing and verifying in our lives immediately. Perennial : Its core truths are timeless, surviving any historical or cultural change. Open to Investigation ( Ehipassiko ) : It functions as a personal “come and see” invitation rather than a rigid system demanding blind belief. Progressive : It leads us onward, continuously unpacking new layers of wisdom as we engage with it. Individually Verifiable : It is ultimately validated through our own direct experience, turning us into the wise ones who know peace for themselves. With this open-minded, personal approach, Prasadachitta guides us directly into the Karaniya Metta Sutta as a highly practical roadmap for our spiritual growth. Rather than treating its instructions as abstract rules, he encourages us to relate to them through our own physical, lived experiences. When the sutta asks us to be upright but “flexible,” he illustrates this with a wonderful story about a flight attendant who playfully deputized snack-stealing kids to help her hand out peanuts, transforming a potential moment of conflict into an act of community. To make the sutta’s famous instruction to love “as a mother cherishes her only child” real for himself, he connects it to his own mother’s “rough” but deep, physical hugs that he can still feel in his body today. By bringing our own imagination and personal memories into the practice, we learn to cultivate a fierce, boundless goodwill that moves us from everyday “eminence” to spiritual “transcendence”. Ultimately, Prasadachitta promises that as we rest in this unlimited kindness, we naturally let go of our rigid views, become spontaneously ethical, and experience a quiet, complete sense of freedom. ______________ Prasadachitta was ordained into the Triratna Buddhist Order in 2011 and he became the Chair of the San Francisco Buddhist Center in April 2022. He was born on a “back to the land” commune in rural Northern California and that background has inspired his engagement with others in building the SFBC’s rural meditation center called Dharmadhara. He also helped to establish a community of sangha members who support the retreats there. He supports himself as a documentary filmmaker and photographer but his real life’s work is training others who want to practice Buddhism within the Triratna Buddhist Community. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we remember that we were created for joy when our minds are busy and our hearts feel weighed down by the world's troubles? In this uplifting talk, JD Doyle invites us to explore mudita —traditionally translated as appreciative, altruistic, or relational joy—as one of the four essential heart practices ( brahma viharas ) in Buddhism. Opening with the Persian poet Hafez's poem The Sacred Dance for Life , JD reminds us that joy is not a performance or something we must force, but an inherent capacity of the heart waiting to be uncovered when we step out of our habitual anxiety. Drawing on Thich Nhat Hanh's insight that happiness has the nature of "interbeing," JD emphasizes that mudita is fundamentally relational—shifting us away from the narrow, individualistic "what's in it for me?" mindset and inviting us to take genuine delight in the well-being of others and the world around us. To help us navigate the mental habits that block this natural warmth, JD breaks down the traditional frameworks and practical obstacles we encounter on the path to joy: The Measuring Mind : How our constant comparing, ranking, and obsessing over what we lack creates fear and closes the heart to present-moment delight. The Near Enemy (Exuberance & Frivolity) : How bubbling excitement can tip us forward into overconsumption, or how frivolity—as Norman Fischer describes—acts as a superficial attempt to cover up life's inevitable sorrows rather than savoring beauty amidst hardship. The Far Enemy (Jealousy & Resentment) : How envy creates a painful sense of separation, which JD illustrates through a personal story of overcoming resentment when a colleague received a job promotion JD had expected. "Messy Joy" & Entanglement : Citing "The Book of Delights" by poet Ross Gay, JD highlights that real joy is not separate from heartbreak, but emerges from how we care for one another through suffering—a resilience deeply familiar to the queer community. Cultivating a "Delight Radar" : Practicing gratitude for simple "non-problems" (like a headache-free day or a working toilet) trains our attention so that, as Ross Gay noted, the more we study delight, the more delight there is to study. ______________ JD Doyle serves as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center (EBMC) and has served as a board member and was the cofounder of the LGBTQI meditation group. JD is a graduate of the Spirit Rock Meditation Center teacher-training program and was in the Dedicated Practitioner Program (DPP2) and the Community Dharma Leader Program (CDL4). JD has practiced Buddhism since 1995 in the U.S., Thailand, and Burma. For over twenty-five years, they worked as a public school teacher focusing on issues of equity and access. JD holds a bachelor’s degree in Environmental Studies from Cornell University and a master’s degree in Language and Literacy and Sociocultural Studies from the University of New Mexico. JD identifies as gender non-conforming. They are committed to celebrating the diversity of our human sangha, addressing the impact of racism on our communities, expanding concepts of gender, and living in ways that honor the sacredness of the Earth. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Ryuko Laura Burges invites us to consider how our words shape our reality and whether they serve as a force for division or healing in a troubled world. Laura demonstrates the profound weight our speech carries, by drawing on a tender story about giving her hundred-year-old mother permission to let go, as well as an ancient tale of the Sufi weaver-poet Kabir whose gentle prayers calmed a sick child while his sharp words exposed a priest's rage. She frames Right Speech —one of the foundational spokes of the Noble Eightfold Path—not as a set of rigid restrictions, but as an encouraging mental guide to ease suffering for ourselves and others. Laura shows us how mindful communication is woven through all ten traditional Buddhist precepts, warning against the subtle ways we can "kill" someone's enthusiasm with harshness, "steal" time through repetitive complaining, or use slander to elevate ourselves above others. To help us navigate our everyday conversations with greater integrity and compassion, Laura offers a clear roadmap for reflection before we speak. She encourages us to pause and examine our inner motivations, highlighting several key practices for bringing our speech into harmony: The Four Filters of Speech : Pausing to ask ourselves whether what we are about to say is timely , true , helpful , and kind —noting with a smile that by the time we ask all four questions, it might be too late to say anything, which is often for the best! The Loving Inner Witness : Extending Right Speech inward by replacing our harsh, judgmental inner narrative with the voice of a supportive friend who guides us with tenderness. Guarding Our Thoughts : Remembering the ancient teaching from the Dhammapada that thought manifests as the word, the word as the deed, the deed into habit, and habit into character. By cultivating a mindful pause through meditation, Laura reminds us that we can catch our habitual reactions and choose words that foster connection, ease ragged hearts, and bring genuine peace. ______________ Ryuko Laura Burges is a lay entrusted dharma teacher in the Soto Zen tradition, teaching and leading retreats in Northern California. A longtime educator, she co-founded the Meditation in Recovery programs at San Francisco Zen Center. Her books include Wisdom Stories of Tibet (2025), the first volume in a three-part series that will also feature wisdom stories from India and Japan, The Zen Way of Recovery: An Illuminated Path Out of the Darkness of Addiction (2023), Zen for Kids (2023), and Buddhist Stories for Kids (2022) ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Despite the world around us constantly changing, we can remain grounded in the timeless stillness beneath it all. Roshi David Blackwell walks us through what happens when we transition from years of formal spiritual training back into the texture of ordinary daily life. Reflecting on his own journey after stepping down from a Zen training center, David introduces us to an ancient Tang Dynasty framework known as the "Five Ranks of Merit" or "distinguished service". Rather than focusing solely on mystical realization, David shows us how this time-honored system offers a practical, compassionate roadmap for leading an upright, supportive, and useful life in service of those around us. As David breaks down these five stages, we get to see how our spiritual journey naturally matures from initial curiosity to ultimate simplicity: The Shift : The initial turning of our heart toward practice when we feel a deep need to explore what is most real and important. Submission : Radically accepting reality exactly as it is, letting go of our rigid, narrow ideas of self to align with life as it unfolds. Achievement : The stage where dedicated practice ripens into genuine insight, wisdom, and an understanding of non-duality. Collective Achievement : Expanding our perspective so realization is no longer a private trophy, asking instead how we can help sustain our sangha and serve others. Absolute Achievement : Shedding even the conceptual trappings of "enlightenment" to simply return to being our ordinary selves—truly at home in our own skin. ______________ Roshi David is a Soto Zen teacher in the White Plum lineage. He received Dharma Transmission and the lineage name Tenryū Jōkai (天龍浄海) from Charles Tenshin Fletcher Roshi in 2014, and Inka — final seal of approval and independence — in 2022. Originally from Wales, Roshi David moved to Southern California in 2000 to train full time. His teaching is grounded in traditional Zen forms and woven into the texture of ordinary life. He emphasizes the direct experience of awakening using contemporary language and time-honored methods. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

In this talk from Pride weekend, Trip Weil explores how we can find a true, universal sense of freedom in our lives if we allow the dharma to reveal and heal painful aspects of shame we may be carrying. Trip invites us to join him in "reimagining" what Pride and liberation can mean over the course of a lifetime. Journeying back to his very first Pride parade in San Francisco in 1985, Trip shares his own early struggles with internalized homophobia, vulnerable self-worth, and a defensive relationship with the world. He beautifully pairs these personal memories with a classic non-dual quote from Indian guru Nisargadatta Maharaj: "Mind creates the abyss, love crosses it" . Through this lens, we are invited to explore how our minds build walls of separation and clinging, while our hearts hold the power to bridge those gaps and bring us home to ourselves. To show us how this plays out, Trip guides us through the touching story of Kisa Gotami, a mother driven to temporary madness by the sudden death of her young son. When she begs the Buddha for a cure, he gently sends her on a quest to gather a mustard seed—but only from a household that has never experienced death. As she knocks on doors, she realizes that loss is a universal human thread, an insight into impermanence that brings her immediate, immense relief. Trip maps this ancient parable directly onto our modern queer journey, sharing several key lessons we can take to heart: The Illusion of the Outside Fix : Just like the death-free mustard seed, the idea that an external cure will "fix" or "straighten us out" is a mirage; true healing begins when we stop trying to fix ourselves and instead accept who we are. The Medicine of Community (Sangha) : Gotami's sanity returned when she realized she wasn't alone in her grief. Similarly, stepping into a vibrant, visible community shows us that our struggles are shared, reminding us that we are not crazy or isolated. Releasing Rigid Identities : When we cling too tightly to a single identity—such as a grieving mother or a defensive ego—we obscure the vast, beautiful reality of who we actually are. Pride as Love Crossing the Abyss : Ultimately, Trip redefines Pride not as an ego-driven comparison, but as a deep sense of honor in our shared journey and a celebration of love crossing the mental divides of separation. ______________ Trip Weil has been practicing in the Theravadan tradition since 2004. He is a graduate of Spirit Rock’s Community Dharma Leader and Dedicated Practitioner programs. He is a psychotherapist in private practice in San Francisco and a former attorney. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

We become disconnected from our actual lives when we’re constantly trapped in a cycle of judging every feeling we have. Here Daigan Gaither invites us to look at how we often dismiss our own pain by comparing it to "first-world problems" or the greater struggles of others. He shares his own journey with a "neurospicy" brain and rejection sensitivity, explaining that when we tell ourselves our feelings "aren't real" just because they have a biological cause or aren't "logical," we’re actually distancing ourselves from our lived experience. Daigan reminds us that if we feel it, it is real, and our practice is about learning to "experience the experience" while we’re actually in it, rather than getting lost in exhausting layers of thoughts about our feelings. To help us move closer to the front of that mental "train," Daigan offers several key insights into how we can soften our self-judgment and live more authentically: Kusala and Akusala: We can look at our thoughts and actions through the lens of whether they lead us toward liberation or away from it. The Healing Power of Noticing: Just as a physical wound heals when we stop picking at it, our emotional wounds can begin to pass when we simply notice them without trying to weigh or force them into something we think we "know". "What Else is There?": Instead of making our entire lives about one feeling of rejection or pain, we can practice asking what else is present in the moment—like the air on our skin or the sounds around us—allowing us to be a whole person having a whole experience. Fluidity of Self: By understanding that "no-self" means we are constantly changing, we can stop trying to hold onto a version of ourselves that no longer exists and instead break up the "concrete" of fixed views that keep us stuck. Ultimately, he encourages us to stop using our practice as a way to increase judgment on ourselves and instead simply allow ourselves to "have a day," trusting that each moment is a new chance to connect with reality. ______________ Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011. Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes. Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Can we move beyond that small, tight sense of feeling separate and truly experience ourselves as part of the vast, magical universe? In this heart-opening talk, Bill Weber shares how a powerful Qigong practice called the "Six Verses" helped him dissolve the "tightness" he carried for years, particularly the isolation often felt by gay men. He reminds us that while we often feel solid and separate, we are actually 99.99% empty space—and if we crushed the entire human species down to pure matter, we’d fit inside a single sugar cube! By shifting our perspective from being isolated individuals to "cosmic chemistry" made of stardust, we can learn to navigate the irritations of daily life with a much greater sense of spaciousness and ease. Bill Weber walks us through the Six Verses , a short meditation that encapsulates a path toward freedom and joy: Internal Awareness: We start by going inside our bodies to find the emptiness and spaciousness within, letting any tension melt away. Universal Expansion: We then expand our awareness outward, moving from the room to the city and finally becoming one with the limitless universe. Returning with Peace: We draw that awareness back into our bodies, bringing a sense of calm and peacefulness with us. Reverence ( Gongjing ): We open back up to the universe with a sense of "utmost gongjing "—a deep, humble respect for being part of the whole. Nurturing the Heart: We allow the bright universe to fill our hearts with unconditional love and compassion, which Bill describes as a richness unlike any love we've known. Harmonious Flow: We conclude by feeling relaxed and free, allowing our "Qi" (energy) to flow smoothly and joyfully through our entire being. By practicing these verses, we can begin to see that we aren't just walking in nature; we are nature, and the boundaries between us and the world around us are just an illusion. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Melvin Escobar helps us discover how we can tap into a source of happiness that doesn't depend on our personal wins, but actually grows the more others succeed. Here he explores the concept of mudita —often translated as unselfish or appreciative joy. He dives into how this practice, one of the four "divine abodes" or Brahma-viharas , helps us break out of the Western individualistic trap and realize that our happiness is deeply interconnected with everyone else's. Melvin reminds us that even when we feel stuck in aversion or judge ourselves for "not doing it right," those very feelings are actually the path to joy; by noticing what we are reflexively pushing away, we create the space for a more authentic, humanized connection to the world around us. He guides us through several ways we can cultivate this "immeasurable" joy in our daily lives, moving beyond the idea of it being a separate, lofty goal: The Path of Purification: We learn that mudita is often found right in the middle of our aversion. Instead of fighting our negative thoughts, we can see them simply as "sensations" and use that awareness to melt the "stone" of indifference. Integrating Our Life Stages: We reflect on how our capacity for joy evolves from the "bundle of joy" we were as infants, through the traumas of adolescence, and into a more "distilled" version of ourselves as we age and learn to laugh at our own forgetfulness. Sati (Remembering): We practice the intention of "remembering" our Buddha nature and the path, realizing that once we’ve seen the truth of interdependence, we can never truly "unsee" it. The "Buddha Smile": We are invited to try a physical practice—the slight upward turn of the lips—that helps us stay present and serious about our spiritual work without losing our sense of lightness. Service as Joy: We see that humanizing each other is an act of joy, and through service, the separation between "who is serving who" begins to dissolve. By practicing mudita , we find the "safety valve" that allows us to experience the world's beauty and suffering without crumbling under the weight of it all. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

In this moving and lyrical talk, Matthew Perifano shares how he found a sense of true refuge when facing deep grief and the uncertainty of life. Matthew shares how he began weaving together the wisdom of the Dharma with the timeless plays and sonnets of William Shakespeare. He describes how his relationship with these texts evolved from a daunting college requirement into a vital mind-body practice that eventually helped him navigate the devastating losses of the AIDS epidemic. He suggests that when we lend our own voices and bodies to these words, we can discover that we are never alone in our suffering, finding a profound sense of compassion—or karuna —that transcends time and space. Matthew illustrates how the insights of the Buddha are often hiding in plain sight within the Bard's greatest works, offering we several "Shakespeare Dharma" keys to unlock our own understanding of reality: Finding Refuge in Grief: He explains how Sonnet 30 helped him move through personal loss by revealing that our "precious friends hid in death’s dateless night" connect us to a universal experience of suffering, turning art into a path through pain rather than just an escape from it. Presence in the Ordinary: Drawing from his own "transcendent experience" while washing dishes and the poetry of Layman Pang, he reminds we that spiritual activity is found in the most basic daily affairs, like drawing water or carrying wood. The Trap of Papancha: He uses the jealous rants of King Leantes from The Winter's Tale to demonstrate papancha , or mental proliferation—the tendency of our minds to spin "nothing" into a suffocating storm of obsessive, illusory thoughts. Life as a Dream: He concludes with Prospero’s famous speech from The Tempest , which he calls "Shakespeare’s Diamond Sutra," to help we contemplate how all conditioned things are essentially "such stuff as dreams are made on". ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

The Path to Freedom in an Ever-Changing World How can we find lasting peace when everything in our lives—from our favorite shops to our own bodies—is constantly changing? In this talk, Walt Opie explores impermanence, the "bedrock" of Buddhist teaching, showing us how our suffering often comes from fighting a reality we cannot change. He explains that our brains are hardwired to look for "signs"—characteristic marks that help us recognize things—which trick us into believing life is more permanent than it really is. Through poetry and the wisdom of teachers like Ajahn Chah, Walt illustrates that when we accept "the glass is already broken," we create a "safety valve" for our hearts that prevents them from bursting when life shifts. Walt offers several concepts to help us wake up from the "dream state" of daily life: Equanimity: Being in harmony with the way things are instead of fighting reality. Signlessness: Intentionally ignoring the "signs" or labels we usually construct from our senses, which helps us stay focused during meditation. Bare Awareness: Training ourselves so that in the seen there is "just the seen" and in the heard "just the heard," stripping away the mental layers that cause us stress. The Present Moment as a Gate: Using the image of a simple sandwich to remind us that liberation is found by fully showing up for whatever is happening right now. By following his lead, we can learn to be "neither here nor there," allowing the world to catch our hearts off guard and blow them wide open. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Rev. Liên Shutt explores how the Buddhist path of wisdom can help us fully celebrate and embody our identities as queer people. The concept of prajna (wisdom) is not an abstract theory, but as an interactive way of being that honors our lived experiences. Liên breaks down the traditional three levels of wisdom and maps them onto the queer journey, showing how we move from simply seeking information about our identities to reflecting on our shared stories and, finally, to an embodied presence. The "perfection of wisdom" is found in how we carry ourselves—without defensiveness or shame—fully alive in the moment and comfortable in our own skin. Drawing on her own history—from navigating the "cluelessness" of her youth to finding belonging in the queer Vietnamese community of the Bay Area—she describes the transition from being an "object" defined by society to reclaiming oneself as a "subject". Liên emphasizes that the heart of meditation practice is discernment , which allows us to recognize the stories we tell ourselves and choose a path of kindness instead. She invites listeners to view their queerness as a gateway to understanding the interdependence of all things, highlighting several key frameworks for this development: Three Levels of Wisdom : Learning/Knowledge : Absorbing information and searching for representation. Reflection : Processing experience through shared coming-out stories, community symbols, and discussion. Meditation ( Bhavana ) : Developing an "embodied wisdom" that allows one to live fully and authentically without apologies. Subjectivity and Value : Moving beyond the internalized idea that being "different" is bad, and instead realizing that all phenomena—including ourselves—are worthy and valuable subjects. Non-Egocentric Awareness : Practicing a "looseness" of self where our queerness is seen as both deeply personal and part of a larger, collective whole. Discernment as a Tool : Using mindfulness to notice when we are becoming reactive and instead consciously "turning toward" kindness and friendliness ______________ Liên Shutt (she/they) is a priest lineage holder in the Shunryu Suzuki tradition. Born to a Buddhist family in Vietnam, she received her meditation training in the Insight and Soto Zen traditions in the U.S., Japan, Thailand, and Vietnam. She was a founding member of the Buddhists of Color in 1998 and currently is the guiding teacher of Access to Zen, an inclusive, anti-oppression sangha and non-profit in the SF Bay Area. She lives on Ohlone land, currently called Oakland, with her partner, exploring waterways and forests as often as they can. Visit https://accesstozen.org/ for ways to connect and practice together. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Eve Decker explores the vital necessity of cultivating joy not as a way to ignore suffering, but as a spiritual practice to maintain internal balance and equanimity. It is an internal ease independent of external circumstances. By embracing her personal mantra, "right now it's like this," Eve invites us to meet the present moment with intimacy and kindness, rather than reactivity or denial, whether it involves a beautiful sunrise or deep grief. Eve offers a roadmap for navigating the obstacles to well-being while actively "inclining the mind" toward joy. Much of our distress arises from the "Eight Worldly Winds," the fluctuating pairs of praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, and fame and shame. To move toward a "lightness of being," we must learn to hold all of these without being swept away. Several practical shifts help with this: Regulating Despair : Cultivating joy to balance the human tendency to fall into "doom," which she describes as a state of being out of alignment with reality. Identifying Obstacles : Recognizing "foreboding joy" (the fear of experiencing joy because it might end) and the "shoulds" of societal conditioning that block self-compassion. The Power of Gratitude : Actively acknowledging simple gifts—such as the many hands involved in bringing food to a plate—to neurologically prime the brain for well-being. The Bliss of Blamelessness : Living a life of integrity and non-harming, which creates a sense of safety for others and a lightness of spirit for oneself. Mindful Presence : Using mindfulness as a foundation to stop reacting to discomfort and instead rest in the "sweetness of loving ourselves." ______________ Eve Decker has been practicing Insight Meditation since 1991, and has taught groups, daylongs, and short retreats since 2006, particularly at Spirit Rock, the East Bay Meditation Center, and elsewhere in the Bay Area. She is a graduate of UC Berkeley and of Spirit Rock’s Path of Engagement and Community Dharma Leader training programs, and has been trained in the Hakomi approach to body-based psychotherapy. Eve is also a singer/songwriter who has combined the power of music and dharma practice. Her most recent CDs are “In: Chants of Mindfulness & Compassion,” and “Awakening Joy - The Music.” Find her at https://evedecker.com/ ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Finding a sense of lightness and joy ? Mary Stancavage explores the vital necessity of cultivating joy as a spiritual practice to maintain internal balance and equanimity in a world marked by violence, cruelty, and despair. Drawing on the wisdom of The Book of Joy by the Dalai Lama and Desmond Tutu, she argues that joy is an internal ease that remains independent of external circumstances. By embracing her personal mantra, "right now it's like this," Mary invites us to meet the present moment—whether it holds a beautiful sunrise or deep grief—with intimacy and kindness, rather than reactivity or denial. Mary provides a roadmap for navigating the obstacles to well-being while actively "inclining the mind" toward joy. She explains that much of our distress arises from the "Eight Worldly Winds"—the fluctuating pairs of praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and pain, and fame and shame—which we must learn to hold without being swept away. To move toward this "lightness of being," she suggests several practical shifts: Regulating Despair : Cultivating joy to balance the human tendency to fall into "doom," which Mary describes as a state of being out of alignment with reality. Identifying Obstacles : Recognizing "foreboding joy" (the fear of experiencing joy because it might end) and the "shoulds" of societal conditioning that block self-compassion. The Power of Gratitude : Actively acknowledging simple gifts—such as the many hands involved in bringing food to a plate—to neurologically prime the brain for well-being. The Bliss of Blamelessness : Living a life of integrity and non-harming, which creates a sense of safety for others and a lightness of spirit for oneself. Mindful Presence : Using mindfulness as a foundation to stop reacting to discomfort and instead rest in the "sweetness of loving ourselves." ______________ Mary Stancavage has practiced meditation, yoga, and cultivated a spiritual practice for over 35 years and in 2009 was empowered to teach Buddhadharma. She teaches classes, retreats, coaches and mentors individuals and has facilitated several Year-to-Live groups. She has served as a volunteer hospital chaplain and been involved with leadership in several non-profit organizations over the years both in meditation and in the social justice arena. She is currently a member of the Guiding Teachers Council for Insight Community of the Desert, and is a Board Member of both Meditation Coalition and CLUE: Clergy and Laity United for Economic Justice. For the last several years, Mary has investigated what it means to live with an undefended heart and more information on this can be found on her website, https://marystancavage.org Fun fact: Mary has an MA from UCLA and spent several seasons working as an archaeologist in Syria. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we prevent our hearts from hardening against a brutal world and instead use our own imperfections as a bridge to connection? Joe Goode addresses this by arguing that while political or social resistance is necessary, the act of opposition can unintentionally cause us to harden, losing touch with the vulnerability where love and intimacy live. He suggests that instead of trying to "fix" ourselves or bypass suffering, we should practice loving the "broken bits" of our own minds—our regrets, meanness, and anxieties—much like a parent loves a mischievous or hurting child. By shifting away from the idea of a "fixed" or isolated self, Joe explains that we can cultivate a soft heart that nurtures interdependence rather than individuality. To move these concepts from the mind into the body, Joe leads a series of experiential practices that blend breath, sound, and movement to serve as a "balm" for the "imperfect and vulnerable" self. He teaches that the aging or incomplete body is not a problem to be solved but a tool for deepening our connection to reality. His framework for this embodied practice includes: Tender Attention : Holding a finger to represent a specific negative thought or recurring doubt, breathing into that "vulnerable body" and offering it special care rather than animosity. The Soothing Sway : A side-to-side rocking motion used as a "universal calming action" to quiet the mind and accept the "fearful, broken, or less-than self". Interdependent Sound : Vocalizing specific tones (such as "m," "ah," and "ee") to feel the physical vibration in the bones while simultaneously "pouring" one’s sound into the collective "envelope" of the room. Receptive Clearing : Using the heat of the hands to clear "extra thoughts" from the eye sockets before opening the palms to receive "spacious thinking" and "fresh possibilities". Ultimately, Joe suggests that by treating the body as a "single sensing organ," we can discover that being fully present in our physical form and movement is no different than meditation itself. ______________ Joe Goode is the artistic director of The Joe Goode Performance Group, and a professor in the Department of Theater, Dance, and Performance Studies at UC Berkeley. He has had a meditation practice since 1979, and has incorporated Buddhist principles and meditation practices into his choreographic works. His work blends theater, dance, and spoken word, to focus on the fallibility and imperfection of being human, believing that the creative impulse is a step toward the alleviation of suffering. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we maintain a steady heart and a sense of purpose when the systems we rely on seem to be collapsing and the world feels overwhelmed by conflict? René Rivera shows us that equanimity is not mere "composure" or "evenness of temper" -- a misunderstanding that can lead to suppressing anger in order to remain perfectly calm. Drawing on a three-month retreat in South Africa, René suggests that true equanimity ( upekkha ) is better understood as a "balanced heart" or "steadiness" that allows for a deep intimacy with everything we experience. In this way practitioners can find a grounded base that holds both waves of grief and anger and the stillness of a settled mind. To navigate these turbulent internal and external landscapes, René provides a framework for distinguishing genuine balance from its common obstacles and identifies the qualities that cultivate resilience: The Far Enemy (Reactivity) : The direct opposite of equanimity, characterized by craving, aversion, and an attachment to specific outcomes. The Near Enemy (Indifference) : A "spiritual bypass" that looks like calmness but is actually a form of avoidance or detachment that refuses to feel. The Lesson of "Old Survivor" : An 800-year-old redwood tree in Oakland that survived a "tree apocalypse," serving as a metaphor for the capacity to endure cycles of loss and radical change. The Balanced Heart of the Brahma Viharas : Equanimity acts as the container for loving-kindness, compassion, and joy, creating an "abundant" and "immeasurable" heart capable of holding the fires of social struggle and personal grief. Ultimately, René suggests that equanimity is not a solo practice of isolation but a relational one—a radical "yes" to experiencing the reality of the present moment with full presence and awareness. __________ René Rivera is a meditation teacher and restorative justice facilitator working and learning in all the spaces in-between race, gender, and other perceived binaries, as a queer Latinx trans man. René teaches heart-centered, trauma-informed meditation, as a core teacher at the East Bay Meditation Center. He offers classes and retreats for many Buddhist centers and groups, with a focus on supporting LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC practitioners. He leads trainings on how to create spaces that are inclusive and accessible to transgender, nonbinary and gender expansive people. René is a facilitator in training for the School of Consent and a restorative justice facilitator, working to heal sexual and gender-based violence. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we maintain a compassionate heart in a world defined by conflict? Sean Feit Oakes shows us how we can use the Brahma Viharas —the "immeasurable" states of love, compassion, joy, and equanimity— to provide an internal sanctuary from the "poisons" of greed and hatred. He explains that the Buddha taught these practices as the essential foundation for wisdom, inviting us to radiate a boundless friendliness that offers an escape from suffering within our own hearts. Using the story of the "wounded king" Ajata Satu, Sean illustrates how even those burdened by terrible past actions can find solace through ethical living and metta (friendliness). He suggests transforming our "inheritance of toxicity" by leading with warmth in all areas of life: Universal Friendliness : Bringing a "benevolent" heart to every mundane interaction. Compassion : Allowing the heart to "quiver" or shatter in response to suffering rather than turning away. The Difficult Person : Wishing ease even for those who cause harm, acknowledging their basic desire for happiness. Self-Kindness : Shifting one's internal dialogue to be tender and supportive—even calling oneself "sweetheart"—during difficult inner work. By invoking this "boundless" friendliness, Sean argues that we can heal our own internal karma and ripple that change out into the community. ______________ Sean Feit Oakes, PhD (he/him, queer, Puerto Rican & English ancestry, living on unceded Pomo land in NorCal), teaches Buddhism and somatic practice focusing on the integration of meditation, trauma resolution, and social justice. He received teaching authorization from Jack Kornfield, and wrote his dissertation on extraordinary states in Buddhist meditation and experimental dance. He teaches at Spirit Rock Meditation Center, East Bay Meditation Center, Insight Timer, and locally. See SeanFeitOakes.com ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Daigan Gaither helps us examine how we can remain deeply engaged with a suffering world without losing our sanity, despite the "fire hose" of constant information and activism. He explores the phrase "it's okay to not be okay" as a living practice rather than a mere platitude. Drawing on his experience as a Zen priest and long-time activist, Daigan explains that the Buddhist commitment to "not turning away" from suffering can sometimes lead to a state of being "overpowered" by the sheer volume of global crises. He argues that practitioners must learn to differentiate between the information they truly need and the noise that causes unnecessary overwhelm, while also paying close attention to "internal consumption" —the rigid thoughts, judgments, and expectations we impose upon ourselves. Daigan emphasizes that being "okay" is not a static state achieved through knowledge or following rules, but a continuous process of returning to the present moment. He suggests that the heart of practice is the ability to sit still amidst whatever is happening and connect with the raw reality of one’s own body and mind, rather than the stories we tell about them. To cultivate this resilience, he highlights several key approaches: Mindful Consumption: Recognizing that thoughts, media, and opinions are forms of consumption that can create a cycle of anxiety if not monitored. The Pursuit of Joy: Actively seeking out "pockets of safety" and small moments of delight—such as videos of babies laughing or the support of a community—to avoid falling into hopelessness. Investigating the Body: Viewing mind and body as inseparable and investigating where emotions live physically (such as shallow breath or tightness) to transform abstract "big feelings" into manageable sensations. The Power of the "Return": Accepting that 90% of practice is simply the act of settling back into awareness whenever the mind wanders into "not being okay". By viewing this internal struggle as a koan to be investigated, Daigan invites listeners to find a sense of liberation that doesn't require the world—or themselves—to be perfect. ______________ Rev. Daigan Gaither (he/him) began Buddhist practice in 1995 in the Vipassana (Insight) tradition, then began studying Zen in 2003. He received Lay Ordination in 2006 where he was given the name Daigan or “Great Vow,” and received Priest Ordination in July 2011. Daigan speaks internationally on a variety of topics particularly around gender, sexuality, social justice, and their intersections with the Dharma. He also sits or has sat on a number of boards and committees that serve community needs and further social justice causes. Daigan has a BA in Philosophy and Religion from San Francisco State University, and an MA in Buddhist Studies (with a chaplaincy certificate and a certificate in Soto Zen Buddhism) from the Graduate Theological Union and the Institute of Buddhist Studies. He lives in San Francisco, CA and identifies as a disabled, queer, white, cis male. Learn more at https://queerdharma.net ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

How can we maintain a steady heart and a sense of purpose when the world around us is in conflict? Victoria Austin introduces us to the concept of a "posture of peace," which she defines not merely as a physical sitting position but as an enduring internal state. Drawing on stories of individuals facing extreme challenges—from the early days of the HIV/AIDS crisis to recovery from traumatic accidents—Victoria suggests that while feelings of love may fluctuate, an internal posture of peace allows us to remain grounded in our "vulnerable humanity." This posture serves as a cornerstone for action in the world, enabling practitioners to meet their "inmost request" and fulfill their unique work without being overwhelmed by external circumstances. To build this foundation, she provides a framework for understanding and transforming internal reactions, particularly those related to conflict and "unwholesome" impulses. She argues that peace is not passive but requires an active engagement with our emotions and the ethical consequences of our choices, such as avoiding the "three ways to be evil": acting directly, colluding, or condoning. Victoria categorizes the messages behind our primary struggles and the paths to meaning as follows: Anger : Acts as a signal for unmet needs or violated boundaries; when safely held, its energy becomes a resource for change. Fear : A call for support and allies, often requiring the courage to ask for help. Sadness and Grief : States that require time and the nurturing care of others—symbolized by "soup"—to be fully processed. Three Ways to Live : she describes existence through the ultimate (the big picture), the relative (historical and familial connections), and the skillful (the ability to move between the two for meaning). By recognizing that "all experiences come from the mind," she concludes that an internal posture of love is contagious, impacting everyone we meet and offering a stable way to manifest love in an unsettled world. ______________ Shōsan Victoria Austin started practicing Zen in 1971, and is a Dharma heir of Sōjun Mel Weitsman. To help increase the accessibility of Zen practice in the West, she became an Iyengar yoga teacher in 1988. She has served in many roles at San Francisco Zen Center’s urban temples and Tassajara Monastery, including President, Head Cook, and Tanto (Head of Practice). Victoria currently teaches meditation and yoga in diverse settings throughout California and serves as an International Teacher (Kokusaifukyōshi) of the Sōtō School. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter

Onryu Mary Stares helps us understand why external peace is impossible without first addressing the "war" occurring inside—the aggression and destructive emotions within our own heart. She offers several key approaches to support this effort: Navigating the Kleshas : Mary identifies aggression as a "cold, critical, and fixed" mind and encourages practitioners to acknowledge this and other destructive emotions (pride, craving, jealousy, and ignorance) rather than skipping over them The Wisdom of Manjushri: She uses the imagery of the bodhisattva Manjushri and his sword to illustrate how wisdom can be "cutting" and clear without being aggressive, provided it is used with a "pure heart" to perform appropriate actions Practical Tools for Peace: A number of actionable methods for maintaining a peaceful internal posture during conflict are discussed, such as the STOP practice (Stop, Take a breath, Observe, Proceed) and Pema Chödrön’s guidance to remain "embodied, present, and kind." Transforming Personal Conflict: Through personal stories of facing workplace hostility and homophobic harassment, Mary demonstrates how meeting aggression with awareness and sadness—rather than counter-aggression—can prevent the creation of negative karma and lead toward wholeness and relationship ______________ Onryu Mary Stares first arrived at Tassajara in the summer of 2000, following a period of residential practice at Gampo Abbey in Nova Scotia, Canada. After a number of years of coming and going she requested priest ordination and with that request committed to live and work in residence at San Francisco Zen Center for a number of years. Mary has lived and practiced at all three of the SFZC temples and has lived in a number of other Buddhist communities since 1999. A carpenter by trade, Mary was ordained as a Zen priest in 2010 by Arlene Lueck and Myogen Steve Stücky. Mary was Shuso (Head Student) for the Winter 2015 Practice Period at Tassajara. She most recently served as Director of City Center and is currently Tanto (Head of Practice) at City Center. ______________ To support our efforts to share these talks with LGBTQIA audiences worldwide, please visit https://gaybuddhist.org/ There you can: Donate Learn how to participate live Find our schedule of upcoming speakers Join our mailing list or discussion forum Enjoy over 900 recorded talks dating back to 1995 CREDITS Audio Production: George Hubbard Producer: Tom Bruein Music/Logo/Artwork: Derek Lassiter