Adoption: The Long View Podcast

It’s December of 2024, which means we're bringing you the 5th -- and last -- Best Of advice. The first part of this episode is our traditional season-closing digest of best advice from all Season 5 guests, and the last part is a special musical treat from...

Have you ever noticed that -- much like Riley in Disney•Pixar's Inside Out series -- you have different parts? The Internal Family Systems (IFS) framework asserts that everybody consists of different parts. Our guest this month, Kathy Mackechney, LCSW, IFS...

When our adoptees are young, we cannot anticipate how and when they will process their adoptedness someday as adults. Such processing may not even be on our radar. For adoptees, figuring out their identity with the added layer of adoption, requires extr...

In a previous episode of Adoption: The Long View (ep505), an adoptee noted that her parents are the center of their adoption story just as she is the center of hers. It’s no big duh that the parents of an adoptee and the adoptee themself experience the s...

One of the myths of adoption is the now debunked “blank slate” theory that if you get your baby early enough, they won’t have experienced any trauma. And therefore, you won’t be raising a child with a trauma history, and you won’t be dealing with big,...

In this much anticipated episode, we resume our conversation with adoptee and adoption educator Torie DiMartile on adoption math that adoptees have to deal with, the worlds they must precariously straddle throughout their lives, the opposing emotions the...

We all know from 1st grade math that a half plus a half equals 1. But for adoptees, the math doesn’t always add up the way we think it will. At one time I thought that if I could just incorporate my children’s first families into ours, then Tessa and Re...

The moment you become a parent, time seems to stop and you can’t see beyond the sweet baby or toddler you have before you, looking up at you with those big eyes that say you are everything. Those days of full dependence on you feel like they may go on fore...

My new book Adoption Unfiltered, has three chapters in it devoted to religion and adoption, with my co-authors and I each researching and covering a chapter. Sara Easterly, an adoptee and a Christian, wrote about religion’s pain points for adoptees. Kelsey...

Early in my adoptive parenting days, when my kids were first becoming able to talk about their adoptedness and continuing through their adolescence, I was on alert for signs that adoption had hurt them. I’d been listening to adult adoptees and I knew that...

Welcome to Season 5 of Adoption: The Long View! This month's guest is someone I made a bad first impression on (in my own head, anyway) because of an assumption I made about her that turned out to be wrong. Adoptee and content creator Jennifer Dyan Ghost...

It’s December of 2023, which means that my new book, Adoption Unfiltered, written with Sara Easterly, an adoptee, and Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard, a birth parent, is finally available! The first part of this episode is our traditional season-closing digest...

This is a really special episode for me because not only am I the host, as I always am, I am also a guest. I’m so excited to announce on Adoption: The Long View, that within a month, a book I, along with my two guests, have spent the last 3 years envisio...

One of the distinctions we continually make here on Adoption: The Long View is the difference between "open adoption" and "openness in adoption." The former typically means having some sort of information about or contact with birth family, but the latte...

So many parents end up wishing they'd had a time machine to go back and know earlier what we didn’t know then about parenting, which is the whole premise of this podcast – to take the long view. With adoptive parenting, that wish can be even stronger, be...

Parenting a child of a race different from yours adds a whole new element to adoptive parenting. While this episode does focus on raising an interracial adoptee (also called a transracial adoptee), becoming more comfortable with talking about race is a w...

If you’ve been listening here long, you know that to believe that adoptive parenting is no different from regular old parenting will likely end up with you feeling blindsided some day, without tools and without strategies. This is because all adoptions...

One thing we know is that adoption comes out of a broken attachment, that the baby or child we parent has already lost something primal, that biological connection to the first mother, as well as the genetic connection to her and to the baby’s first fa...

Why are truth and trust so important in adoptive families? In all families, really? Isn’t it OK sometimes to keep some things under wraps, for someone’s own good? There's a philosophical paradox called sorites based on the idea that no grain of sand i...

Adoptive parenting has this in common with regular old parenting: just when you start to feel like you’ve mastered a stage, like babyhood, toddlerhood, tweenhood, or beyond, your child keeps growing and enters a new stage. And you’re back at square one...