Healing For Love

Send Gemma a message 5 hidden love traps keeping you stuck in painful dynamics. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Who did you learn you needed to be in your family growing up? The good girl? The responsible one? The peacekeeper? The child who didn't need very much? The roles we learn in our family of origin can become deeply ingrained, and we can continue playing them long after childhood has ended, particularly in our romantic relationships. In this episode, I explore six common childhood roles I've observed in my work with women, and how these roles can become part of what I call our Love Template , the largely unconscious map that influences who we're drawn to, how we behave in relationships, what we tolerate and the patterns we repeat. I also share an excerpt from one of the lessons inside Love Wisely Foundations , where I take a deeper look at several of these roles and how they can continue playing out in our adult relationships. The important thing to remember is this: You are not the role. You learned the role. And what has been learned can be noticed, understood and gradually changed. Love Wisely My next Love Wisely group coaching experience begins on 9 September. Over three months, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting their Love Template, so they can break long-standing relationship patterns and move towards healthier, safer and more fulfilling relationships. Priority enrolment is now opening. See the links in the show notes for more information. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message WARNING : This episode contains natural bird songs, twigs breaking & leaves crushing underfoot, the occasional breathlessnes and the distant sound of kids playing in a park 😊 Love Wisely is starting again soon! If you have been waiting for your chance to join me for the next 3-month journey to rewrite you Love Template, sign up below!. What does it really mean for someone to be available for a relationship? In this walking episode, I explore one of the most painful forms of emotional unavailability: becoming attached to someone who is still entangled with another woman. Perhaps he says the marriage is over. Perhaps they still live together “for the children.” Perhaps he promises that once the separation, divorce or living arrangements are resolved, the two of you can finally have a proper relationship. Meanwhile, you are left waiting, hoping and accepting small pieces of connection from someone who is not genuinely free to build a life with you. In this episode, I discuss: The difference between being separated and being truly available How promises about the future can keep you emotionally invested Why intermittent attention and small acts of care can feel so powerful The role of abandonment and emotional deprivation schemas Why an unavailable person can sometimes feel safer than a real relationship How implicit recognition draws us towards familiar emotional dynamics Why being given crumbs can slowly erode your self-worth The importance of choosing someone who is emotionally and practically free I also share a personal experience of becoming emotionally attached to a married and unavailable man, and what that experience helped me understand about my own schemas. If you are waiting for someone’s circumstances to change before they can fully choose you, this episode is an invitation to step back and look honestly at what is being offered to you now. You deserve more than promises, fragments of attention and a place at the edge of someone else’s life. Love Wisely If you have a recurring pattern of becoming attached to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, my Love Wisely group coaching experience begins in September. Inside the program, I guide a small group of women through the process of understanding and intentionally rewriting the unconscious Love Template that has shaped their relationship choices. Join the Love Wisely priority list through the link in the show notes. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Many women tell me they know what an unhealthy relationship feels like but they're much less certain about what a healthy one should feel like. In this episode, I walk you through nine signs that you're building a healthy, emotionally available relationship during the early stages of dating. Rather than focusing on red flags, we explore the aspects that signal emotional safety, healthy attraction and genuine compatibility. In this episode you'll learn: What healthy attraction actually feels like Why uncertainty is normal in the early stages of dating The importance of relationships developing gradually Why emotional consistency matters How to recognise emotional safety When physical intimacy is most helpful for building a healthy relationship Why staying true to yourself is essential The role of autonomy, authenticity and emotional availability Why healthy love often feels different from schema-driven chemistry If you've ever wondered whether a relationship is moving in a healthy direction, this episode will help you better understand what to look for and what healthy love actually feels like. Work With Me Love Wisely Group Coaching – my flagship group coaching experience for women ready to break long-standing relationship patterns and create healthier, more secure relationships. Join the Priority List - we start again in September!! https://www.drgemmagladstone.com/LoveWisely_Waitlst Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Situationships aren't new, but today they have a name. They're often marked by uncertainty, mixed messages, hope, and one person wanting much more than the other. In this episode, I explore five common signs that you're caught in a situationship that's unlikely to become the relationship you're hoping for. More importantly, we look at the psychology behind why so many intelligent women find themselves staying in these painful, ambiguous dynamics. In this episode you'll learn: What defines a situationship Five signs your situationship is going nowhere Why uncertainty can become so emotionally consuming How situationships slowly undermine self-worth and confidence The role of abandonment, emotional deprivation and other schemas in keeping women stuck Why understanding your relationship patterns is the first step towards changing them If you've ever wondered whether you're holding on to hope rather than evidence, this episode is for you. Free Masterclass Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating Discover the 5 hidden Love Traps that keep women stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns. Register via the link in the show notes. Work With Me Love Wisely Foundations – my self-paced online program. Love Wisely – my flagship group coaching experience, designed to help women intentionally rewrite their Love Template and break long-standing relationship patterns. For more information, visit: www.drgemmagladstone.com Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Have you ever wondered why relationships can feel so emotionally intense? Why you find it difficult to leave someone, even when you know they're not right for you? Or why emotionally unavailable partners seem to become a recurring pattern? In this episode, I explore one of the most important psychological patterns I see in my work with women - the abandonment schema (or abandonment wound). Drawing on nearly 30 years of experience in psychology and schema therapy, I explain how early experiences of inconsistency, loss, emotional absence or disrupted attachment can quietly shape our expectations of love, influence who feels familiar, and make it much harder to walk away from relationships that aren't meeting our needs. You'll learn: • What an abandonment schema actually is • How it develops during childhood • Why it often shows up most strongly in romantic relationships • How it influences attraction and partner selection • Why emotionally unavailable relationships can feel strangely familiar • The link between abandonment and overriding red flags • Why this schema can keep you hoping, waiting and staying far longer than is healthy • How understanding your abandonment pattern can become the first step towards creating healthier, more secure relationships If you've ever found yourself repeatedly attracted to emotionally unavailable, avoidant or narcissistic partners, or you've wondered why leaving unhealthy relationships feels so incredibly difficult, this episode will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface. Free Masterclass Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns. Love Wisely Group Coaching My flagship coaching program, offered only twice each year, where we work together over three months to intentionally rewrite your Love Template and create healthier relationship patterns. Private Coaching For women wanting personalised support to understand and change long-standing relationship patterns. Connect Website: www.drgemmagladstone.com Instagram: @drgemmagladstone If you enjoyed this episode, I'd really appreciate it if you subscribed, left a review, or shared it with someone who may need to hear it. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message If you're serious about finding an emotionally available partner, there are some important shifts that can dramatically improve your chances of creating a healthy relationship. In this episode, I break down the practical dating advice I most often share with my coaching clients. Women who are tired of repeating painful relationship patterns and want to approach dating with more clarity, confidence, and self-trust. One of the biggest misconceptions about dating is that women who end up in unhealthy relationships simply fail to see the warning signs. In my experience, that's rarely true. Most women notice far more than they give themselves credit for. The challenge is often not spotting the red flags—it's understanding the deeper patterns that make it difficult to trust yourself and act on what you already know. If you're ready to approach dating differently and want to understand the hidden psychological forces that influence attraction and decision-making, this episode is for you. Free Live Masterclass Why Smart Women Override Red Flags in Dating (Even When They Know Better) Discover the 5 hidden love traps that keep women stuck in painful relationship patterns and learn how to make wiser, more self-honouring decisions in dating. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Have you ever left a date feeling completely conflicted? Part of you feels excited. Part of you feels anxious. Part of you wants to see them again. And part of you feels relieved it's over. In this episode, I explore why dating can feel so confusing and how different parts of ourselves can interpret the exact same situation in very different ways. Drawing on concepts from Schema Therapy, I introduce three key voices that often show up when we're dating. You'll learn how old wounds such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, defectiveness and people-pleasing patterns can quietly influence attraction, decision-making and relationship choices. I also explore common dating coping modes including Most importantly, we'll look at how to strengthen the Wise Self - the part of you that can step back, gather information, spot red flags, honour boundaries and make healthier relationship decisions. In this episode you'll learn: Why dating can feel so confusing at times How vulnerable parts of us influence attraction The role of coping modes in dating and relationships Why familiarity can be mistaken for compatibility How schema chemistry can override good judgement The questions your Wise Self needs to be asking How to recognise who is currently "holding the microphone" Why healthy dating involves learning to date from wisdom rather than from your wound Resources Mentioned: Love Wisely Foundations Love Wisely Group Coaching Program Dating Profile Check-Up 1:1 Coaching with Dr Gemma Gladstone Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message In this episode of Healing for Love , Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the early warning signs of controlling, narcissistic and potentially coercive relationship dynamics - particularly the subtle behaviours that many women dismiss, minimise or explain away in the beginning. This episode is not about blame. It is about prevention, awareness and learning to trust yourself earlier. Gemma breaks down: why some controlling behaviours can initially look like care or protection how love bombing and boundary crossing often work together the subtle ways controlling people gradually erode your autonomy why narcissistic and coercively controlling individuals struggle to tolerate your individuality and separateness how early manipulation often appears through “small” interactions why boundary creeping, guilt, criticism and emotional pressure matter the connection between control, entitlement and coercive dynamics why many women ignore or override their early instincts the importance of recognising what gets in the way of leaving early how schemas such as abandonment, emotional deprivation, subjugation and self-sacrifice can keep women stuck in unhealthy dynamics Gemma also discusses: emotional manipulation intrusive behaviour disguised as care isolation tactics shame sensitivity and rage reactions dependency-building behaviours subtle control around appearance, friendships and daily choices the psychological function of coercive control Most importantly, this episode highlights why early recognition matters. The sooner unhealthy dynamics are recognised, the easier it becomes to protect your sense of self, your wellbeing and your future. In this episode: What coercive control actually is Why control often begins subtly The difference between care and control Early signs of dangerous relationship dynamics Boundary crossing and “boundary creep” Why love bombing can feel confusing How controlling partners gradually isolate women Why healthy partners tolerate difference and autonomy How schemas can interfere with self-protection Why taking relationships slowly matters Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits Why do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves? In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens. This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood. Gemma unpacks: What people pleasing actually is Why it develops The difference between self-sacrifice, subjugation and approval-seeking Why guilt and fear often drive people pleasing behaviours How early family dynamics shape self-suppression Why some women struggle to set boundaries or speak up in relationships The connection between people pleasing and emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners How schemas influence dating, relationships and self-trust Why people pleasing is often linked to survival, safety and connection Small practical steps to begin changing these patterns This episode also explores: Self-sacrifice schema Subjugation schema Approval-seeking schema Abandonment dynamics Conditional parenting Coping modes and “dating personas” The importance of reconnecting with your own needs, preferences and authenticity If you often: Put other people’s needs ahead of your own Feel guilty saying no Worry excessively about upsetting others Need reassurance before making decisions Stay quiet to avoid conflict Feel anxious expressing yourself Struggle with boundaries in dating or relationships …this episode will likely resonate deeply. Mentioned in this episode Gemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program: Love Wisely Foundations (coming soon!) - a schema-informed relationship program designed to help women understand and rewrite unhealthy relationship patterns and “love template.” Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Dating apps can feel like a bit of a horror show at times. But underneath the frustration, the confusion and the endless swiping… there’s something much deeper going on. In this episode, I explore how your schemas - particularly abandonment, defectiveness, emotional deprivation and people-pleasing patterns - can shape: Who you feel drawn to What you tolerate And why you might ignore your own instincts I also walk you through a more grounded, intentional way to approach dating apps - not as “dating platforms,” but simply as introduction tools . Because real dating doesn’t happen on the app. It happens in real life. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message This episode is a special one - I’m sharing the audio from a recent live masterclass where I walk you through the deeper psychological patterns that drive attraction, and why insight alone often isn’t enough to change them. If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or self-absorbed partners - even when you know better - this episode will help you understand why. I explore what’s happening beneath the surface, and what it actually takes to begin shifting these patterns from the inside out. What you’ll learn Why high chemistry is not always a sign of compatibility The “love paradox” - wanting one thing, but being pulled toward something very different How your early schemas (core emotional patterns) shape who you’re drawn to What schema chemistry is and why attraction can feel so compelling - even when it’s not right for you The role of people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and loss of voice in dating Why “just date more” or “choose better” doesn’t solve the problem The key stages involved in breaking long-standing relationship patterns How to begin rewriting your “love template” so you can move toward emotionally available partners This episode is for you if… You keep finding yourself in similar relationship dynamics You’ve dated emotionally unavailable or avoidant men You struggle to trust yourself in dating You tend to over-give, over-accommodate, or lose yourself in relationships You’re ready to understand why this keeps happening - and start doing things differently These patterns are not random - they are shaped by deeper, often unconscious processes. And once you understand them, you can begin to shift them. Want to go deeper? If this episode resonates, I also share more about my Love Wisely group coaching program inside this training. It’s a 12-week experience designed to help you: Understand your patterns clearly Work with your schemas Build self-trust And begin relating in a way that supports the kind of relationship you actually want Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message If dating tends to bring up anxiety, self-doubt, people-pleasing, or the urge to lose yourself in someone else, this episode is for you. In this practical episode, I’m speaking directly to women who tend to be very giving, very empathic, and very accommodating in relationships, but who often struggle to stay connected to themselves while dating. If you have a history of subjugation, self-sacrifice, under-entitlement, loose boundaries, or worrying too much about being “too much” or “too needy,” dating can quickly become stressful and confusing. You may find yourself focusing more on whether the other person likes you than on how you actually feel. In this episode, I walk you through 10 clear dating rules to help you feel calmer, more grounded, and more self-protective in the early stages of dating, without becoming closed off or guarded. This is about dating in a way that helps you stay connected to your own needs, your own feelings, and your own experience. In this episode, I cover: Why meeting early in real life is better than building a false sense of connection through endless texting Why first dates should be short, simple, and low pressure The importance of putting a time boundary around early dates Why alcohol can make it harder to stay connected to your instincts and boundaries Why you do not need to extend a date unless you genuinely want to Why it is healthy to directly say you’d like to see someone again if that is true for you Why it matters to keep your life running normally when you meet someone new Why rushing physical intimacy can create attachment before real compatibility is clear How to think about chemistry more wisely, especially if you have a pattern of schema chemistry Why the most important question after a date is not “Did they like me?” but “How did I feel?” Key themes in this episode: This episode explores how schemas such as subjugation, self-sacrifice, abandonment, emotional deprivation, and under-entitlement can quietly shape the dating process. It also highlights a more grounded and emotionally healthy approach to dating: Dating is data. Rather than treating every date like a test of your worth, this episode encourages you to slow down, gather information, notice how you feel, and assess whether the other person is truly right for you. If this episode resonated: If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you left a quick review on Apple Podcasts. It really does help more women find the show. And if this episode made you think of someone in your life, feel free to share it with them. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message In this episode of Healing for Love , I respond to a thoughtful question from a listener who describes a relationship that is supportive and stable - yet something important is missing. Her partner is kind, affectionate, and easy to live with. But when it comes to emotional conversations, he rarely initiates them. Over time, she has begun to feel emotionally alone in the relationship. This is a surprisingly common dynamic. Many people find themselves in relationships where their partner cares deeply but struggles with emotional expression or emotional dialogue. The question then becomes: is this simply a difference in style, or does it signal something deeper about compatibility and emotional needs? In this episode, I explore how to think about this situation from both perspectives. We discuss: Why emotional intimacy matters in long term relationships The difference between low emotional dialogue and true emotional neglect How early experiences can shape someone’s emotional style The role schemas can play in how we interpret our needs in relationships Why feeling like a “burden” when expressing needs is often an important clue How to distinguish between lack of skill and lack of motivation in a partner Questions you can ask yourself to clarify what you truly need in a relationship How to communicate emotional needs in a constructive and specific way Sometimes the most important shift is moving away from the question: “How do I change my partner?” And instead asking: “What kind of emotional life do I want to live in my relationship?” If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your emotional needs are “too much,” this episode will give you a thoughtful framework for understanding what’s really going on. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Hey, if you'd like to reduce your chances of future relationship regret, then come to my free live training: Join here Have you ever looked back on a past relationship and thought: Why did I stay so long? Why didn’t I see the signs earlier? If only I had done something differently… Relationship regret can be incredibly painful. Many people find themselves stuck replaying the past, analysing every decision and blaming themselves for how things turned out. But in this episode, I explain why this mental loop is not actually helping us heal . In psychology, the “should have, could have, would have” pattern is known as counterfactual thinking . It’s a form of rumination where the mind tries to solve an unsolvable problem - the past. And while it feels like we are trying to understand what happened, what is often happening underneath is emotional avoidance . Beneath regret there is usually something much more vulnerable: Grief. Grief about the relationship. Grief about what we hoped it would be. Grief about the loss of the future we imagined. In this episode, I explore: Why regret often keeps us stuck in rumination The psychology of counterfactual thinking Why self-blame is so common after difficult relationships How rumination can block emotional healing The grief that often sits underneath regret Why painful relationships are not “wasted time” How our schemas influence what we tolerate in relationships How to shift from self-blame to insight and growth Simple ways to respond differently when regret arises I also look at an important reframe: Relationships are often our greatest teachers. Even the painful ones can reveal important truths about our emotional needs, our patterns, and the schemas that shape our relationship choices. When we approach our past with compassion rather than self-blame, we open the door to healing and to making wiser choices in the future. If this episode resonates with you Many of the women who join my Love Wisely program come with this same question: "Why did I end up in relationships like that?" Inside the program we explore the deeper psychological patterns behind attraction, schemas, and relationship choices - and how to create healthier relationships going forward. You can learn more about Love Wisely on my website. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message In Part 2 of this series, I continue unpacking the darker red flags that often show up early in dating – the ones that are easy to dismiss but costly to ignore. These are not minor quirks. They are patterns that predict future control, manipulation, blame-shifting, entitlement and emotional instability. In this episode, I explore: What I call “future mirroring” – a subtle form of love bombing designed to accelerate closeness The chronic victim stance and how trauma dumping can be used as manipulation Why repeated stories of being “wrongly accused” deserve careful attention Exaggerated reactions to frustration, shame or not getting their way How to recognise blame shifting early Why high chemistry without character is not compatibility How to strengthen your intuitive muscle and trust your internal data If you’ve ever felt confused, slightly uneasy or pressured in early dating but talked yourself out of it – this episode is for you. I also share details about the upcoming round of Love Wisely , beginning April 16, and how you can join the priority list. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Not all red flags are equal. Some signal incompatibility. Others signal something much darker. In this episode, I’m breaking down the first three of my Top Five Dark Red Flags in Early Dating - the traits that, in my clinical experience, rarely improve with time and often predict controlling or deeply problematic relationship dynamics. If you’ve ever found yourself: Ignoring your gut Giving someone “the benefit of the doubt” Talking yourself out of discomfort Wanting to be the easygoing, understanding one This episode is for you. I explore: Why people-pleasing schemas can keep you in situations you already know aren’t right How subtle pushiness can signal future control Why arrogance is one of the most dangerous personality traits to overlook The difference between confidence and entitlement How love bombing can be used strategically What “future mirroring” is and why it hooks so many intelligent women I also explain why what you feel in your body matters - and how to recognise when someone is testing your compliance rather than building real connection. This is not about demonising people. It’s about helping you see clearly. Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Here's a nurturing gift for you Let me know if you'd like more meditations like this 🩷🩷 Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message Many women struggle in relationships without ever being taught one essential truth: you are allowed to have emotional needs . In this episode of Healing for Love , Gemma explores the concept of core emotional needs through a schema therapy lens and explains why unmet needs sit at the heart of so many repeating relationship patterns. You’ll learn how unmet emotional needs shape schemas like abandonment, emotional deprivation, subjugation, self-sacrifice and approval-seeking and why these patterns often lead women into relationships that feel unsafe, one-sided, controlling or emotionally barren. This episode is especially relevant if you have ever: Felt guilty for wanting “too much” in relationships Struggled to name your needs or voice your preferences Found yourself prioritising others while neglecting yourself Stayed in relationships that felt familiar but deeply unsatisfying Find out all about the six core emotional needs Key Takeaway A healthy relationship is not about chemistry or intensity. It is about how consistently your core emotional needs are met . Work With Gemma Join the Love Wisely priority list for the April intake Stay tuned for details of a free training coming up Apply for limited 1:1 coaching places currently available Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message In today’s episode, I answer a short but powerful question that came in anonymously: “Hi Gemma, I cannot even get a match, let alone a date. What the hell is wrong with me?” If you’ve ever stared at a dating app wondering why nothing is happening and quietly concluded “it must be me” , this episode is for you. I'll look at three key areas: The reality of modern dating apps – why they create a distorted, “smorgasbord” environment where incredible, emotionally available people are often overlooked. Other people’s issues – how emotional immaturity, avoidance and misaligned intentions show up on the apps (and why you can’t control that). Your schemas and your “type” – how schema chemistry and rigid “type” criteria might be leading you towards emotionally unavailable partners and away from people who could actually be good for you. I’ll invite you to: Re-examine how you’re presenting yourself on the apps (without becoming a slave to what you think men want). Widen the pool by giving a chance to the “6 or 7 out of 10” guys (ie, the level of chemistry you feel! I'm not rating people!) who feel kind, calm and safe – rather than only chasing the intense 10/10 chemistry. Remember that your worth, lovability and desirability are not measured in matches . If you’re feeling discouraged or asking “what’s wrong with me?”, I want you to know: you are not the problem. Dating apps are hard and your current results say nothing about your deeper value or your capacity for a healthy, loving relationship. In this episode, you’ll learn: Why so many wonderful women and emotionally available men get passed over on dating apps How our throwaway, dopamine-driven culture affects the way people swipe Why leading with highly sexualised photos can accidentally screen out good men How schema chemistry pulls you towards what’s “familiar” rather than what’s healthy How to gently expand beyond your usual “type” Practical ways to pace yourself and protect your emotional wellbeing while dating Resources mentioned: Free guide: Dating with Insight – download via the link in the show notes. Love Wisely – my 12-week online group program for women who want to break their pattern of choosing emotionally unavailable, narcissistic or avoidant partners. Doors open again in March – join the priority waitlist via the link in the show notes. Episode 130 – on cultivating a new dating mindset (recommended companion episode). Support the show 🩷 LOVE WISELY Priority List, join to get notified about the next Group 🎓 NEW - Love Wisely Foundations Course - Get Instant Access! ✅ Dating App Profile CHECK-UP 🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide 💛 Elevate You Worth - Healing Audio Bundle (50% off only for listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY Connect with Me 📩hello@drgemmagladstone.com 🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com 📷 Instagram: @ drgemmacoaching 🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏 Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here