Men, Sex, and Pleasure with Cam Fraser

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, we take a trip down memory lane as Cam shares a presentation he gave at Camp Lovehoney back in 2020. He explains how toys and lube can support sexual health and pleasure, including using masturbators to help premature ejaculation and erectile difficulties by retraining stroke patterns and reducing friction, and using edging to prolong arousal. Cam highlights prostate play as a pathway to non-ejaculatory prostate orgasms, multi-orgasmic potential, and greater empathy as a penetrative partner, citing survey findings that partners of men who’ve explored anal penetration report higher satisfaction. He shares Lovehoney study stats on toy use and reviews products including a thrusting masturbator with dirty-talk audio, a vibrating couples ring, and a remote-controlled prostate massager, plus previews upcoming BlowMotion masturbators and answers audience questions. Key points: 06:56 Toys For Performance And Control 11:10 Edging And Prostate Orgasms 19:18 Thrusting Masturbator Demo 24:54 Couples Vibrating Ring 28:27 Remote Prostate Massager Review 30:16 New BlowMotion Teaser 32:55 Lube And Toy Care Basics 33:32 Audience Q&A

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam discusses how medicine, culture, and commerce intersect in social-media health narratives with Emma Grundtvig Gram, PhD. They unpack Emma's research focusing on “low T” content on TikTok and Instagram. She explains her content-analysis study examining how influencers promote testosterone testing and treatment through narratives rather than evidence, often linking testosterone to confidence, dominance, success, muscles, sexual performance, leadership, and happiness while framing ordinary experiences (fatigue, stress, weight gain, stalled gym progress, sexual fluctuations) as signs of deficiency. The conversation covers regressive gender ideas, disparagement of femininity, manosphere links, optimisation/T-maxing pressures, appeals to fear of aging and masculinity loss, and concerns about young men as long-term consumers. Key Points:03:07 Why Study "Low T"08:05 Disease Mongering Explained16:36 Sexuality Framed As Deficiency27:46 The Optimisation Trap37:30 Homosocial And Homoerotic Ads41:18 Parasocial Trust And Algorithms44:33 Healthier Testosterone Talk

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Stephanie Ganowski. They discuss how porn and online masculinity messaging create unrealistic expectations, and explain the mechanism of performance anxiety as a fight-or-flight nervous system response that disrupts arousal and erections and can speed ejaculation. Stephanie emphasizes pairing physical techniques (breathing, pelvic floor work) with mindset changes, including answering “what if” thoughts in advance to reduce uncertainty and build trust. Both advocate reframing sex from penis-centered performance to pleasure, presence, and connection, encouraging non-linear intimacy and better communication with partners, including using third-party prompts like podcasts. Stephanie shares her iOS app Ronin, a guided masturbation/meditation tool to build confidence, reduce porn reliance, and train arousal skills. Key Points:07:01 Nervous System Breakdown13:15 Redefining Great Sex24:22 PE vs ED Practices29:25 Couples Talk About Sex34:31 Handling Hard Feedback41:39 Toys Lube And Solo Practice

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Jordan Walker, an RSE specialist working with teens (including neurodivergent and trauma-affected youth) in Western Australia. They discuss boys seeking connection online via manosphere content, the loss of third spaces and community sport, the role of parents and upskilled coaches, and the need for facilitated, mixed-gender discussions to build conflict-resolution skills. Key points: 06:09 Consent Teaching Pitfalls 18:59 What Boys Need Now 20:38 Manosphere And Porn Influence 27:29 Parents and Schools Role 35:19 Connection Seeking and AI Companions 39:11 Teaching Consent Online 45:18 When We Avoid Hard Talks

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam chats with Seán Forde Kelly, coach and founder of the sexual wellness nonprofit Come What May. They discuss how shame blocks sexual openness, and how it dissipates when stories are shared safely through emotional release and validation. They also explore accountability for harmful male behaviour, the role of “healthy shame,” the idea of a “predator” or primal impulse in men, and improving consent education through embodied practices. Key points:01:04 What Sexual Wellness Means09:19 Shame vs Guilt Explained19:41 Accountability for Abuse30:02 Embodied Consent Practices34:13 Coercion and Power Dynamics39:34 Teaching Consent to Youth

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Pamela Madsen, a U.S.-based sex educator specializing in hands-on somatic education, discusses eroticism as full-body passion rather than orgasm-focused performance. We explore how goal-oriented “purpose” messaging can turn sex into pressure around erections, penetration, and climax, while many women primarily want attention, eye contact, and presence. We distinguish quick, private masturbation habits from partnered intimacy and suggest building “erotic endurance” through non-genital touch like massage, slowing down even more, and starting connection before the bedroom. Key Points: 02:59 Purpose Versus Pleasure 08:02 Presence And Attention 10:45 Masturbation Habits And Porn 18:58 Erotic Endurance Mindset 28:46 Play As A Portal 30:49 Roleplay And Avatars 33:50 Bringing Intention Back

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, sexuality coach Brett Matthews shares how his own early struggles with shame, anxiety, and unworthiness around sex became the “wound” that led him into embodiment work and coaching. We discuss how many clients seek help at crisis points, how porn and disembodied self-pleasure can condition performance habits, and why foundational practices like body awareness, deeper breathing, nervous-system regulation, subconscious retraining/hypnotherapy, and arousal training matter. We also explore performance anxiety’s roots in feeling “not enough,” fear of abandonment, and the power of vulnerability and partner communication. Key Points: 06:50 Porn Conditioning Effects 10:48 Core Practices For Men 16:53 Anxiety And "Not Enough" 26:23 Long Term Relationship Repair 30:53 Initiation And Manhood 37:38 Celibacy And Self Identity 45:01 Initiation Through Pleasure

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Susan Bratton, author and publisher of 44 books and programs on heart-connected, pleasure-focused “orgasmic intimacy,” reframing sex beyond intercourse to full-body sensual touch, communication, oral pleasuring, yoni massage, and orgasmic intercourse that considers what the vagina wants. She argues sex can improve with age, supports healthspan and happiness, and is an overlooked “fourth factor of longevity” alongside sleep, nutrition, and movement. They discuss barriers like religious repression, patriarchy, porn-driven performance scripts, and poor sexual literacy, and agree pleasure can fuel broader systemic change. Practical steps include dropping agendas and performance goals, slowing down with holding, adoration and verbal encouragement for safety, massage to reduce tension, “bullseye” touch to build arousal over time, normalizing erection fluctuations, and exploring 69 and varied thrusting techniques. Key Points:04:45 Sex as Longevity Pillar12:11 Systems vs Personal Pleasure25:09 Soothing Touch and Care28:34 Beyond Piston Sex30:57 Massage Skill Calibration32:03 Lady Boner Bloodflow45:18 Ecstatic Sex Roadmap

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam interviews Ali Gilbert, a coach known as the “Queen of Men’s Health,” who works with high-performing men over 40 through an integrated model combining medical, training, nutrition, lifestyle, and recovery support to reduce decision fatigue. They discuss how men often follow fragmented advice from multiple experts, switch strategies too quickly, and struggle to isolate what actually works, emphasizing coordinated communication across providers. Common goals include energy, longevity, body composition, and guidance around TRT, including proper dosing, lab monitoring, and the reality that TRT is typically a lifetime commitment when well managed. They also explore how male sexual concerns are often oversimplified as “testosterone or pills,” highlighting stress, anxiety, relationship dynamics, and other hormonal factors (thyroid, DHEA, pregnenolone) as key influences, and the importance of normalizing “boner talk” and focusing on root causes rather than quick fixes. Key points: 05:42 TRT Myths And Symptoms 11:59 Stress Kills Libido 20:18 Performance Anxiety Trap 25:41 Handling Higher Libido 33:54 Beyond Testosterone Alone 39:15 Final Takeaways and Thanks

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Caitlin V, a sex and relationship coach, YouTuber, HBO Max host, and author of "Harder, Better, Longer, Stronger," outlines her decade of work primarily with men experiencing performance anxiety. She emphasizes shifting from performance and comparison to an experiential focus on pleasure, communication, and treating sexual challenges as data. We also discuss fear, homophobia, and manosphere grifts. Key Points: 05:47 Beyond Premature Ejaculation 13:25 Performance vs Pleasure 19:24 Fear and Masculinity 23:23 Manosphere Grifts 37:44 Fear of Pleasure 42:17 Performance vs Receiving 48:54 Erotic Libraries and Porn

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Vanessa Cuccia, founder of Chakrubs and an interdisciplinary musician, shares how a period of healing from a toxic relationship, her work at an adult store, and exposure to crystals at a spiritual gathering sparked the idea of crystal pleasure tools for both pleasure and emotional support. Key Points: 04:30 Making Crystal Toys 11:54 Safety and Contraindications 14:03 Introducing Toys Intentionally 19:58 Ritual Methods and Moon Charging 24:31 Obsidian Anal Plug and Shame 31:21 Curiosity Over Rules 38:59 Depth Versus Play 42:23 Pressure Free Pleasure

This episode of #mensexpleasure features marriage, relationship, and intimacy coach Monica Tanner, who shares her background, including her parents’ divorce at 12, 23 years of marriage, and her work helping couples build connection and intimacy while aiming to reduce divorce. We discuss common marriage breakdown areas—communication, sex, money, and parenting—and how sex issues can feel larger when overall connection is weak, particularly for men who often experience closeness through physical intimacy. Key points: 02:16 Why Marriages Fail 12:49 Debunking Marriage Cliches 18:16 Collaboration Over Compromise 24:13 Modern Gender Roles 29:19 Three Step Request Method 39:01 Repair Is One Way Street 45:16 Eight Sentence Repair Script

On this episode of the #mensexpleasure, host Cam Fraser delves into the issues surrounding AI-generated deepfake abuse, featuring insights from guest Noelle Martin, a PhD candidate, lawyer, and global activist. Noelle sheds light on the harmful impacts of deepfake technology, particularly on women and girls, and discusses Australia's position and challenges in addressing online image-based abuse. The conversation highlights the importance of scrutinizing and enforcing regulations, the role of tech companies, and the need for a multifaceted approach including education, legal action, and grassroots activism. Cam and Noelle address the societal and cultural aspects underpinning this abuse, offering both despair and hope through advocacy and legal reforms. Key points: 03:17 Challenges in Enforcing Online Safety Laws 06:50 Global Nature of Image-Based Abuse 10:48 Educational Approaches and Challenges 25:44 Societal and Cultural Issues 36:19 Call to Action and Conclusion

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Jeff Bennett, founder and CEO of Morari Medical, returns to answers questions about his personal and professional background, his passion for improving men's sexual health, and the evolution of his company. Jeff shares significant milestones, including receiving FDA clearance for their product, which aims to enhance sexual performance by delivering mild electrical stimulation to the perineum. He discusses the challenges and triumphs in getting regulatory approval, the intricacies of product development, and the importance of patient safety and confidentiality. Jeff also highlights the company's strategic marketing efforts, their focus on couples in committed relationships, and future plans to expand internationally. The episode delves into the technical aspects of the product, the motivations behind it, and the broader implications of advancing sexual health and wellness. Key points: 04:12 FDA Approval Process 25:55 Navigating Regulatory Challenges 28:54 Personal Journey and Entrepreneurial Insights 35:08 Setting Realistic Expectations 37:42 App Integration and Data Privacy 43:50 Target Market and Future Plans

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Lee Chambers discusses his diverse roles as a father, educator, psychologist, and author, while emphasizing his fascination with human behavior and interaction. He shares his journey of understanding masculinity, gender dynamics, and generational perspectives on these issues. Lee's experiences, including overcoming a severe health challenge and exploring personal and professional growth, have shaped his insights. The discussion touches on the motivations behind Male Allies UK, challenges faced by teenage boys in today's digital world, and the importance of creating supportive environments for personal development. Cam and Lee delve into the complexities of competitiveness and the psychological and social impacts of modern technology on young people. Key Points:06:15 Reflections on Competitiveness12:14 Navigating Modern Masculinity21:06 Challenges of Young Men Today24:29 The Influence of Technology and Social Media32:19 The Importance of Offline Interaction for Boys47:51 Teenage Loneliness and AI Companions55:26 Economic Concerns and Future Uncertainty59:29 Reflecting on the Pandemic's Impact

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam is joined by his brother Callum to explore the story of Geddings David Osbon, an automotive shop worker from South Carolina who invented the penis pump. Key points: 01:33 Geddings' Early Life and Family 09:50 The Birth of the Penis Pump 17:52 Challenges and Acceptance 25:33 FDA Approval and Market Breakthrough 30:05 Family Legacy and Business Expansion 43:09 Third Generation and Modern Era 44:52 Reflections and Final Thoughts

In this episode of #mensexpleasure, Isiah McKimmie, a couples counselor and sexologist with 15 years of experience, discusses strategies for helping individuals and couples build healthier relationships and improve their sex lives. Isiah emphasizes the importance of discussing difficult topics outside the bedroom in low-stakes situations to foster better communication inside the bedroom. She highlights the impact of sexual challenges on overall well-being and offers insights into addressing common issues such as mismatched libidos, sexual dysfunction, and emotional disconnection. The discussion also covers the benefits of engaging in playful activities to bond with partners and new approaches to therapy, including couples retreats designed to provide a relaxing yet insightful experience. The conversation is rich with practical advice and underlines the need for empathy, structured communication, and creative solutions in nurturing intimate relationships. Key Points: 02:39 Two-Way Street of Sexual Dysfunction 09:51 Games and Activities to Improve Intimacy 15:57 Navigating Mismatched Libidos 22:53 Understanding Rejection Sensitivity in Relationships 23:45 The Need for Non-Sexual Physical Intimacy 29:02 Exploring the Erotic Menu Concept 32:53 Introducing Couples Retreats for Relationship Enhancement 37:50 Addressing Anxiety and Pressure in Romantic Getaways

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Jessica Soares, also known as the Erotic Muse or the Holy Hedonist, shares insights into her unique career as an erotic artist and experience designer. Jessica discusses her passion for fostering creativity and helping individuals live authentically. She delves into the nuances of creating erotic audio content aimed at arousal and its impact on both creator and consumer. Additionally, the conversation explores the complexities around authenticity, societal perceptions of erotic content, and the importance of paying for such artistry. We also touch upon Jessica’s methods for cultivating a shame-free environment and the evolving landscape of sexuality work. Key points: 00:32 Meet Jessica Soares: The Erotic Muse 04:48 Navigating Public Perception and Erotic Content 16:21 Permission vs. Prescription in Sexual Expression 27:06 Embracing Arousal in Practice 27:31 Creating Erotic Audio for Men 28:20 Guided Self-Pleasure Practices 29:04 Retention and Edging Techniques 31:53 Defining Pornography and Erotica 42:17 Supporting Erotic Artists Relevant links: https://patreon.com/HolyHetaira www.theroticmuse.com CODE for 25% off first month of membership: MSP25

In this episode, Mike Andryszewski shares his personal and professional journey in the realm of bodywork, sexuality, and spirituality. Mike discusses his background as a bodyworker and the various modalities he incorporates into his practice, including Thai massage, myofascial release, and craniosacral therapy. He emphasizes the importance of integrating mind-body connection and addressing deeper emotional issues through therapeutic touch. Mike also opens up about his experiences with premature ejaculation, sexual shame, and the transformative power of open communication with partners. The conversation delves into Mike's time as a celibate monk in a Hari Krishna ashram, his subsequent sexual renaissance, and how he reconciles his spirituality with his sexuality. The discussion culminates in the significance of connecting with nature and sensuality as a means to enhance both sexual and spiritual well-being. Key points: 00:00 Introduction and Hot Seat Questions 00:20 Mike's Background and Passion 01:57 Exploring Body Work 04:53 Integrating Coaching and Body Work 07:48 Personal Journey and Sexual Renaissance 12:22 Overcoming Premature Ejaculation 20:16 The Role of Communication in Sexual Health 27:46 Managing Shame and Expectations in Sexual Experiences 30:33 The Importance of Communication in Sexual Relationships 32:26 Exploring Spirituality and Sexuality 38:30 Integrating Spiritual Practices into Sexual Experiences 42:41 Connecting with Nature and Sensuality 47:13 Final Thoughts and Practical Advice

On this episode of #mensexpleasure, Cam intterviews Alex, a men's sex coach, about authenticity in male sexuality. Alex shares his personal journey and experiences with societal pressures that shaped his early sexual experiences, including performance anxiety and the influence of substance abuse. Cam and Alex discuss the transition towards a more genuine, shame-free sexual expression. They explore how societal messages and stereotypes impact not only their sex lives but also their broader relationships and mental health. They emphasise the importance of open communication, vulnerability, and self-exploration to understand one's unique sexual blueprint. By overcoming fear and anxiety, they advocate for embracing one's authentic sexual self. The episode also touches on the significance of nervous system regulation in dealing with sexual anxieties and the role of men's support groups in facilitating open conversations about these issues. Key points: 00:00 Introduction and Opening Questions 00:47 Defining Authentic Sexuality 01:52 Societal Expectations and Masculinity 03:05 Personal Struggles with Sexual Performance 05:30 Journey to Sobriety and Self-Discovery 07:23 Facing Shame and Embracing Authenticity 15:33 Navigating Nervous System Responses 17:22 Breathwork and Nervous System Regulation 21:08 Communicating Sexual Desires with Partners 25:10 The Importance of Vulnerability 29:46 The Struggle of Asking for Help 30:05 Acknowledging the Need for Help 31:07 Vulnerability in Discussing Sexual Issues 31:59 Exploring Sexuality and Self-Understanding 33:20 The Power of Erotic Blueprints 35:14 The Fluidity of Sexual Desires 38:31 Breaking Free from Masturbation Habits 40:39 Navigating Shame and Self-Pleasure 42:29 The Anxiety Around Ejaculation 49:10 The Importance of Vulnerability in Men's Groups 50:16 Closing Thoughts and Where to Find More