Parenting The Adlerian Way

If you are raising boys, you need to listen to this episode. Dr Leonard Sax and I discuss the new content added to the latest edition of his book “Boys Adrift”. We discussed why boys fall behind their sisters in school and what parents and teachers can do about it. I also learned about the very real and scary reality of endocrine disruptors and how male testosterone levels are dropping which impacts many things, including motivation. He also gives some shocking information from his research where he had discussions with adolescent boys about pornography consumption and having AI girlfriends. Did you know that 39% of boys age 13 -17 have made deepfake porn of a classmate without her permission? Again, this is vital information for parents of boys. Please listen in and share. You can learn more about Dr Leonard Sax and his latest edition of Boys Adrift as well as his other parenting books here: https://www.leonardsax.com/books/boys-adrift/ ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We all know connection is the basis of a relationship but what does it mean and how do we get it? Listen in! Valerie learned Adlerian parenting from me, and I learned about the Enneagram from her. She brings both together in order to gain a deeper understanding of what it means to really connect with our children, and she discusses her formula “Presence + Self Awareness + Self Compassion = Connection”. Valerie breaks it it all down and you get to hear about me as an example of being an Enneagram 2 - “The Helper” - and how that helps me as well as how it can be my saboteur! Valerie also generously offered up a huge amount of value-add to our community of listeners which I highly recommend everyone take advantage of! Here are the offerings she is gifting us: 1. FREE EXCLUSIVE GUIDE FOR ALYSON'S PODCAST LISTENERS. GUIDE INCLUDES: Enneagram Type summaries and key takeaways discussed in the podcast 5 ways to discover your Enneagram Type YouTube links to learn the strengths and challenges of each Enneagram Type Top recommended parenting books according to Enneagram Type Tips for returning to presence & connection https://valerie-tih-at-joyfull-coaching.kit.com/067edae0f7 2. $20 OFF VALERIE TIH'S ENNEAGRAM DISCOVERY PACKAGE: Learn about your Enneagram Type and how to find your way towards Presence, Resourcefulness, and Connection. Sessions are offered either over Zoom or an in-person "walkie talkie" through Cedarvale Ravine for those living in Toronto. https://www.eventbrite.ca/e/1997776459168?aff=oddtdtcreator Use Code ALYSON at Checkout! 3. GET DISCOUNTED ACCESS TO THE POSITIVE INTELLIGENCE (PQ) APP: Reach out to Valerie to learn more: https://joyfullcoaching.ca/contact/ Follow Valerie on social media: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/joyfullcoaching/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/JoyfullCoaching Linked In: https://www.linkedin.com/in/valerietih/ ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you familiar with Human Design? Kelly Flood, Parent Coach, joins me to explain what Human Design is and how it can help you as a parent. This field of study involves understanding people by knowing their unique energy blueprint. She explains that this level of understanding is not simply about putting people into typologies, although there are energetic styles to consider when looking at human behaviour and motivations. Kelly explains how she uses Human Design to help parents truly understand how their children are meant to operate in the world, which then helps to decide on the best approach to responding to conflicts in the family. This is a tool that is very helpful in learning how to deal differently when typical parenting conflicts like bedtime meltdowns occur. As well, it also helps improve everyday connection between family members. A fascinating conversation. You can learn more about Kelly Flood and her parent coaching practice at www.kellyflood.ca , or on social media: IG: @coach_kelly_flood LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kelly-flood-767ba647/ ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. 14 year old won’t shower – what to do? Q2. Kids already complaining they are bored this summer, and it’s only 3 weeks into the break! Q3. 6 year old won’t get in the water for swim lessons. ********** Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

With his signature humour and relatable storytelling, Dr Dan Dalton discusses the important concepts of winning a child’s cooperation rather than forcing their obedience. He reminds us of psychologists Alfred Adler’s and Rudolf Dreikurs’ major concerns for social equality in all human relations, including children. We also discuss how the counselling tool of asking parents to review a day in the life of the family as a way to discover dynamics at play. Dr Dalton also explains the 4 levels of discouragement and using parental emotions as the diagnostic clue to the purposiveness of the child’s behaviour. You can find Adlerian counselling services at Dalton and Associates here . Other Adlerian organizations we mentioned were: NASAP ICASSI IAIP Adler Graduate School ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

“Breaking the Boy Code” is Dr Katie Hurley’s latest book, following the success of the award-winning “No More Mean Girls”. In this episode, Katie discusses how boys are socialized into a narrow description of manhood that is detrimental to their well-being. While that issue is not new – the “man-o-sphere” has created a world of social influencers who insidiously influence our young sons pushing them down a funnel of increasingly more severe beliefs about what it is to be a man including wealth, physique, dehumanizing women for sex / ra*pe. Katie has studied this system and explains how this online system is akin to brainwashing people into a religious cult. We discuss what a parent can do to help prevent and respond to this concerning situation. Buy Katie’s book “Breaking The Boy Code” here . Follow Katie on IG: @drkatiehurleylcsw Dr Hurley’s website can be found here. ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. Teen daughter home from uni assumes she can just take my car anytime. Q2. 4 year old daughter is stealing and lying. Q3. When should you start allowance? ********** Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Margot Denomme is my guest on this episode, and she brings her 26 years of experience as a Crown Attorney where she saw first-hand how low self-esteem and social media can harm children, leading to mental health issues, bullying and legal troubles. She discusses the importance of parents’ taking collective action to bring about the changes needed to protect our vulnerable children. She has founded an organization called “Raising Awareness About Digital Dangers” (RAADD) which offers a host of resources for youth and their parents, including her book “The Smart Phone Guide”. Check out her book and all the resources at RAADD: https://raadd.ca/ You can find Margot Demonne’s RAADD movement of “Control The Scroll” on IG at @RAADDMovement And Margot herself on LinkedIn ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Do you worry about your child’s weight and wonder if you are doing the right thing in how you encourage them to eat better and exercise more? Turns out sometimes so-called helpful prompts are not helpful. In fact, they could make matters worse. But what is a parent to do? Watch will their kiddo eats a bag of chips while gaming the day away? I had the privilege of discussing the book, “Your Child Is Not Their Weight: Parenting in a Size-Obsessed World”, with the authors, Dr Joey Skelton and Dara Garner-Edwards. Their research at the Brenner FIT Program, and their approach in the book, recommends that we don’t focus on weight, but rather we need to emphasize a strong family connection, tackling lifestyle choices together as a family, and utilizing planning and structure with involvement from the children. Listen in to learn more! Check out more resources at Dr Skelton’s website www.BrennerChildrens.org/BrennerFIT You can find Dr Skelton on social media here: X: @DrJoeySkelton Bluesky: @drjoeyskelton.bsky.social Instagram: @brenner_fit Facebook: Brenner FIT And purchase the book here: Your Child Is Not Their Weight – Parenting in a Size Obsessed World ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dr Will Dobud’s book, “Kids These Days”, shines the light on how the emphasis on youth mental health has paradoxically resulted in more pathologizing, more labelling, more medication and more institutionalizing of young people – all while rates of youth mental health skyrocket. Something is not right. He argues that our systems don’t support human flourishing and in fact create harm in youth. Dr Will is an advocate for co-adventure therapy and other forms of building egalitarian and respectful relationships with youth that allow them to be the hero of their journey and to face and overcome the hurdles of life through micro-adventuring. The book: www.kidsthesedaysbook.com His website: www.willdobud.com Follow Will Dobud on social media: FB: https://www.facebook.com/WillDobudPhD Instagram: @WillDobud Instagram: @Kids_These_Days_Book LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/will-dobud-5209ab74 X: @WillDobud ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. How hard can I push my kiddo to go back to camp? Q2. 17yr old wants to spend most of her savings on a bday gift for her new boyfriend Q3. 3yr old doesn’t play with other kids at daycare. Is he lonely? Q4. How to start family meetings with a 3 and a 4yr old? (You can find my Family Meeting Playlist on YouTube Here . Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Sophia Galano has been providing therapy to teens and their families since 2015. In this episode, we discussed her book “Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent’s Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry”. Sophia helps unpack the Gen Z anxiety effect, and how parents can find the messy middle between supporting but not enabling their anxious teen. Sophia is a big believer in helping youth develop skills and abilities to manage their emotions and to discover and challenge their thinking traps. Check out the podcast to get more of her useful tools. You can find Sophia on social media here: https://www.instagram.com/sophiavale_galano/ And purchase her book here: Calming Teenage Anxiety: A Parent's Guide to Helping Your Teenager Cope with Worry." ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We assume when our teens start dating, they are going to pick good partners and be in good relationships, but wow – sometimes that is not the case! In this eye-opening conversation with the leading research experts from the University of Calgary who have developed an education texting-based tool for parents, we talk about the definition of relationship violence, the role of parents as a protective factor and how their text-based app solved the hurdle of parents not feeling adequately prepared to have these conversations about healthy vs unhealthy relationships. You can find them here: Instagram: @connected_parents_canada LinkedIn: ConnectED Parents Website: https://preventdomesticviolence.ca/our-work/children-youth-parents/connected-parents-project/ ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Marjie Longshore and Paige Trevor are seasoned parent educators. Part of their curriculum is teaching the importance of holding regular family meetings. They also recognize that while parents are keen on the idea of family meetings, they also tend to give up quickly on this importance practice, for a variety of reasons. With research into the problems of consistency and compliance, and the ingenuity to solve for it, Marjie created the Family Meeting Kit as well as an online community platform to help support parents. We discuss all the benefits she has to offer families with these new creations and why they work. Family Leadership Center https://www.familyleadershipcenter.org Podcast: The Family Leadership Center Podcast: Circle In with co-hosts Marjie and Paige Join our Online Circle In Community: circlein.circle.so Visit our website at www.circlein.org IG: @circlein.familymeetingkit and @familyleadershipctr ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ted Page is on a journey to discover how to be a wonderful grandparent and help his grandchildren become The New Greatest Generation. We discuss some of the insights he learned after interviewing grandfathers from diverse backgrounds – everyone from John Cleese and Tom Brokaw, to veterans, rabbis, Imams and grandpas across cultures and socio-economic backgrounds. He heard and recorded their stories, capturing and distilling their wisdom to convey what our children (and all of us!) can learn from. You can purchase Ted’s book, “Good Grandpa – Stories from The Heart of Grandfatherhood” here Check out his blog for ongoing stories and to reach out to Ted with your own stories: www.goodgrandpa.com Follow Ted on social media: IG at @GoodGrandpaBlog Facebook https://www.facebook.com/ted.page.923 ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada ! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Q1. 13yr old son doesn’t open up and share his feelings anymore. Q2. Divorcing parents looking for best shared custody plan for kids. Q3. How to wean a 3yr old off his pacifier. ********** Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Check out more free parenting advice on my blog at www.alysonschafer.com Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive a free “Home Responsibilities by Age” checklist. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Master Celtic fiddler from Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, Natalie MacMaster, has received the Order of Canada and played with such greats as Yo-Yo Ma, Alison Krauss, The Boston Pops, The Chieftains and many more. Her rise to fame happened while she was navigating both a demanding career of a musician performing on the road and raising 7 children. If anyone knows about balance of career and family, it’s Natalie! Tune in to this episode as she shares her journey and how she manages to keep it all together! Purchase Natalie’s Book book: “I Have a Love Story” here. Follow Natalie on social media: IG: @nataliemacmasterofficial FB: https://www.facebook.com/nataliemacmaster/ Website: https://natalieanddonnell.com/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@macmasterleahy ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Amber Mac has been following the progress and proliferation of AI since it came onto the tech scene. Amber brings us up to speed on what AI is, the many places where you may not realize it is at work in the background, and how tech corporations are using our children as their test market for building algorithms. While there are many positives to AI that can benefit our children, Amber also offers advice about how parents can buffer the pull of our technology with "IRL" experiences and lobby for better government legislation that we're beginning to see in other countries. You can learn more about Amber Mac and her work through her website AmberMac.com ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada ! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Are you a perfectionist? Are you worried your child might be too? In this episode, I chat with two fellow Adlerian counsellors who have co-authored a book to help. We discussed the definition of perfectionism, why it originates, some of the various signs you might watch for, as well as the impacts perfectionism has. You can purchase their book, “Living Well With Perfectionism” here . And, here’s where to follow them on their social sites. Caroline Faifman: www.thebaycounselinggroup.com www.styleoflifecounseling.com IG @styeoflife_counseling Lindsay Turner: LinkedIn liturner227 IG @reimaginelifetoday ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Leslie and I discuss the new parenting challenge of how to best manage our children as AI becomes a part of everybody’s life – adults and children included. We discuss mitigating risk while helping our children get the benefits of AI. Leslie also discusses the dangerous downsides of AI companionships, AI and homework, as well as offering up some tools and strategies to help parents keep their kids safe online. Here are some links Leslie recommends parents check out: Your Healthy Tech Playbook/Blog Digital Wellness Lab Look for more info on on Pinwheel kid’s phones here: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thepinwheelphone/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/pinwheelphone Youtube: @thepinwheelphone X: @pinwheelphone LinkedIn ********** Thank you to FeedSpot for selecting “Parenting the Adlerian Way” as the # 1 parenting podcast in Canada two years in a row! Do you have a parenting question for me? Send it to hello@alysonschafer.com and I’ll answer (anonymously) on an upcoming Q&A podcast. Sign up for my monthly newsletter at www.alysonschafer.com and receive my “Responsibilities By Age” pdf. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.