The Feminist Dating Show

Jackie was burnt out to a crisp. She was in a job she felt trapped in, because the story was that she had to be of service no matter how she felt. She had taken a sabbatical that was supposed to be two or three months, and it took her a couple of months just to relax. She came back and was immediately depressed. She couldn't see the forest through the trees. She had no vision. She just wanted to lay down. She also knew she was a background person who wanted to be a main stage person, and she couldn't say that out loud without shame about abandoning her community. Inside Episode 282 of The Feminist Dating Show , Jackie share your story of how she quit people pleasing as her default inside Main Character Era Mastermind (formerly Main Character Energy Mastermind), and what happened in the six months after. She left the job. She started her own company. She moved abroad, got the apartment she wanted in Edinburgh, and started dating with a lot more freedom. Inside episode 282: → The difference between rest that hides burnout and rest that heals the burnout → How the skillset of self-trust changed Jackie's dating experience for the better. → The micro inflection points where your brain wants to dress rehearse tragedy instead of claiming that it's working, and how to catch yourself and redirect toward the best case scenario. → How Jackie built a self-care action plan she runs the second she notices herself spinning, instead of waiting until she's already spiraled 💎 TONIGHT: Join my free live training, Quit Being the Best Friend: How to Stop People Pleasing and Finally Get What You Want in Love, Friendship, and Work Without Overthinking and Anxiety. You'll learn how to stop people pleasing, build rock solid self-trust, and become the main character of your life: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend Work with Lily: 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. So when you're stressed about the question "when is the right time to have sex??" and outsource your answer to another dating expert or another tiktoker, I hear an opportunity to build a life changing skillset that will create clarity for this question (and all questions).... That skillset? Self-trust. When you build the skill set of self-trust, with sex, with friendships, with romance, with work, it all gets more easeful. Episode 281 unpacks what this question is really asking and gives you a framework to come to your best answer, whatever it is. Not just for this. For everything. Because the skillset of self-trust will help you get clarity everywhere. Inside this episode: → Self-trust defined: the firm reliance on the integrity of yourself. It does not mean everything goes your way. It means you will have your back no matter what happens. → ACK. Acknowledge, compassion, kind reframe. The self-coaching tool Lily teaches in main character dating, applied to a decision you have been agonizing over. → The small self-trusting decisions that you can make today that will start to build self-trust. 💎 Join my free live training, Quit Being the Best Friend: How to Stop People Pleasing and Finally Get What You Want in Love, Friendship, and Work Without Overthinking and Anxiety: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

The good, reliable, everyone-comes-to-me best friend. You've been praised for that role your whole life. What if it's the reason you can't get yourself to shoot your shot, ask for more, or take up space with your desires? This episode names the pattern hiding under all of it: people pleasing. Not being nice. The habit of self-abandoning in real time to avoid being misunderstood, judged, or abandoned. Lily breaks down where it lives and how to start unhooking from it. Inside episode 280: → The two categories of people pleasing: the interpersonal kind (the date you stay on too long, the resentment you never voice) and the internal kind (the imagined judgment that keeps you from hitting post, asking for what you want, or flirting IRL) → Why people pleasing is self-protection dressed as politeness, and why it's actively emptying your cup → The main character energy formula that moves you through the fear: permission, self-trust, massive messy action → Why self-trust isn't one-and-done. It's small choices built on small choices → The people pleasing detox: take inventory, choose one pattern, run it through the framework Your richest, biggest life is on the other side of this pattern. 💎 Join my free live training, How to Quit People Pleasing: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend Work with Lily: 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

You've been waiting to feel ready. Ready enough to launch the thing, shoot your shot, ask for the promotion you've been researching and figuring out the pitch for for months. Here's the hot take: you're stalling what you want because of the fear that you're not enough for it. The fear of failure, of judgement, of "not enoughness" has driven your car for long enough. So in this episode, I get a little messy and share my HOTTEST takes on exactly how to build the belief- and actions- of enoughness. Through a winding road of Matrix analogies and The Holiday references, you're going to realize in this episode that you are THE ONE. The One who is the main character. Who can create the love, friendship, and work life that you desire In the words of Mary Oliver, "What will you do with your one wild and precious life?" That's what this episode is here to help you answer. Get into it! Work with Lily: → Join my free live training, Quit Being the Best Friend: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend 💎 → Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book → Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating → Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook → Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ → Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen → Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

Here are 3 signs you're demoting yourself to the "best friend" role in love, friendship, and work... You're the designated listener in your friendships, always the one reaching out first, making the plans, overgiving and caretaking. In dating, you're hesitating to ask for what you want for fear of scaring them off, settling for good enough or settling for inaction. At work, you're logging in past 9p.m., trying to fulfill your coworkers' needs because you fear that shutting down your computer will let people down and mean you're not seen as the go-to person. It's exhausting to demote yourself to the "best friend" role. And it's time for your main character era. This week's episode is about the skill set that will take you from "best friend" to main character. Main character energy isn't something you're born with. It's learnable. In this episode, you'll learn the exact three-part framework Lily uses in her own life and teaches her clients to finally stop shrinking and start taking up space in your dating life, your friendships, and your work. Inside episode 278, you'll lear: ■ The three signs you've been demoting yourself to the best friend role across dating, friendship, and work ■ The three-part skill set that makes up main character energy: permission, self-trust, and massive messy action ■ How to build self trust (even if you've never had it before) ■ What it actually means to shoot your shot unapologetically in every area of your life Ready to step into your main character era? Join Lily's free live training, Quit Being the Best Friend , on September 15th to learn how to break free from people-pleasing and finally get what you want in love, friendship, and work. Sign up: https://datebrazen.com/best-friend Work with Lily: ■ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book ■ Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating ■ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook ■ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ ■ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen ■ Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If approaching a cutie in the wild makes you nauseous… If you "aren't the type of person" to make eye contact with hotties in the wild… If the thought of asking someone out in-person makes your butthole clench up… If you want to try in-person dating, but feel overwhelmed and anxiety-filled at HOW to start. This episode is for you. 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you've ever feared that you're not attractive or desirable because it's never happened before , this episode is a must-listen. Lily breaks down the internalized fears many late bloomers carry—and how to reframe those thoughts with compassion, context, and confidence using her signature ACK mindset tool (Acknowledge, Compassion, Kind Reframe). You'll also get a powerful challenge to reconnect with your body and spark self-trust this week. Links + Resources: 📚 Buy Lily's book Thank You More Please : datebrazen.com/book 💖 Work with Lily: datebrazen.com 🎥 YouTube Channel 📱 TikTok 📸 Instagram

You want to flirt IRL. But you're scared to start... The Flirting Ladder is exactly how you will build the skills to become an expert, confident flirter! This is the exact tool Lily teaches inside Main Character Dating to take you from frozen with fear to flirting with confidence. In this episode: → Flirting is joyful, courageous connection. Not a performance, not a personality trait some people are born with. It's a skill set you build by doing. → Awkwardness is the price of admission for connection. It will be awkward, and that is not a sign you're doing it wrong. → You cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. The right person is looking for you too, and they will be delighted you walked up. → The flirting ladder itself: start with one second of eye contact and climb, one accessible rung at a time, until "so random question, are you single" feels doable. → The 10 seconds of courage tool that builds momentum from paralyzed to shooting your shot. By the time "random question" is out of your mouth, you're already halfway done. Your flirting ladder lives right next to your rejection resilience plan from episode 267. Build both and you're unstoppable this summer. 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

Today we're talking about making the impossible happen. So if you think finding love is impossible for you, this is the episode for you. You've done it before. The friendship you didn't know you needed. The job that used to be a pipe dream and is now a no-duh. Your love life is next. Work with Lily: ■ Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book ■ Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating ■ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook ■ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ ■ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen ■ Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If rejection makes you want to hide under the covers and never date again—this episode is your roadmap back to brave action. In this Episode Spotlight, Lily shares one of her most painful rejections from her dating life, how it nearly derailed her belief in love, and the five-step Rejection Resilience Side Quest she created to help late bloomers build the skill of shooting their shot without spiraling. Inside this episode: ⚡️ Why rejection feels so dangerous (and why that makes total sense) ⚡️ A 5-step framework to depersonalize "no" and take bold action anyway ⚡️ A rejection aftercare protocol that actually helps you recover faster ⚡️ How building resilience leads to getting more of what you want in love and life This is the most essential skill in dating that no one teaches, until now. Work with Lily: 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

This episode of The Feminist Dating Show is a juicy one-- I'm responding to a listener's voicemail about feeling completely hopeless after being ghosted... And after validating the hell out of her (because getting ghosted SUCKS), I got down to answering her question with a tactical action plan: How do you build hope in your dating life after so much disappointment? Is it even realistic to be hopeful in this dating climate? If these questions resonate with you, you're going to love love love this episode. Links: Date Brazen on TikTok Date Brazen on Instagram 127. My response to the question, "Will I just die alone?" 128. The questions you don't say out loud.. 139. Body image and your dating life with Bri Campos 140. My bless and release strategy for letting go Kristen Neff, SelfCompassion.org Simone Seol's Joyful Marketing Podcast Work with Lily Join the Main Character Dating: https://datebrazen.com/dating Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you feel like a late bloomer, and you're fearful that will come off like a "red flag" when you start dating, this is for you. This is a live coaching session with Dana, a healthcare worker who's never been in a long-term relationship and is wondering if it's too late for her. In one hour, Lily helps her build a full dating system from scratch. Inside this episode: 💎 Why you're for the few, not for the many, and how that one reframe changes how you see every dating app profile 💎 How to build essence-based preferences live, so you know exactly what you want before you swipe 💎 The vetting questions that surface emotional maturity, shared values, and real adventure before you ever meet in person 💎 A dating profile makeover that starts with what you love, not an apology 💎 Why "I'm a late bloomer" isn't a "red flag" Dana left this session with her preferences on paper, a vetting system, a rebuilt profile, and a completely different relationship to her own love life. You will too. Work with Lily: 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

You know that spiral where you replay a conversation for hours, convinced you said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time? Lily's got one sentence that ends it. This week's Episode Spotlight revisits the piece of advice that went viral for a reason: you cannot say the wrong thing to the right person. Inside this episode: ✨ The exact moment on a first date Lily talked about her ex for 30 minutes straight, and why it didn't end the relationship (it's the one she's still in, eight years later) ✨ The follow-up nobody talks about: the right person isn't just forgiving, they know how to ask for what they need ✨ Why "minimum viable audience" means you're not for everybody, and that's the relief valve for first-date anxiety ✨ The difference between being a mind-reader and letting someone tell you what they need ✨ How to stop treating dating like there's a secret script you have to get right → Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book → Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating → Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook → Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ → Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen → Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

If you've never been in a relationship before, or never been in a good one, and you identify with feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, or overwhelm when it comes to dating, and you just feel like it's impossible for you to find love and it's all over. This episode is for you. This is exactly what I would do if I was your dating coach in the next three weeks, so you could build a joyful dating life, attract the best dates of your life, and make the right relationship inevitable this summer. Inside Episode 275: Why "it happens when you least expect it" is actually desire suppression in disguise, and what to do instead How to build your matchmaker protocol: claim your essence-based preferences so you stop settling before you even get to the starting line The vetting questions I used as a professional matchmaker to qualify the right people and disqualify the wrong ones without mind drama Why rejection feels like death (it's biological, not dramatic) and how to build a bounce back plan so it stops running your dating life The Bounce Back protocol: a step-by-step rejection resilience plan you can write in your notes app right now Work with Lily Join the Main Character Dating: https://datebrazen.com/dating Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

Your brain is convinced it knows how your love story ends. It's gathered all the evidence from your past and decided: this is just how it is. But your brain is not a fortune teller. It's a safety mechanism. And it is working with about 1% of the data. In this episode of The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down three reasons you might just be wrong that finding love is impossible — and why more is possible in your love life than you currently believe. Inside episode 274: Why your brain's "it's never going to happen" narrative is a biological feature, not a fact about your future The math on how many people you haven't met yet — and what that means for your love life How to use the relationships you already have as evidence that more is coming The two things that actually change your timeline: proximity to opportunity and courageous behavior in the face of it Lily's ACK process for rewiring your brain toward possibility when scarcity takes over Work with Lily: Join my free live training, Attract the Right Partner, Zero Experience Needed: https://datebrazen.com/lets-go Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book Join the Main Character Dating waitlist: https://datebrazen.com/dating Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

Okay, let's say finding love is 100% all luck. A few weeks ago I shared my take: finding love is proximity to opportunity plus courageous behavior in the face of it. I got a lot of comments that said, "You're wrong, it's just 100% luck." So let's run the thought experiment. If finding love is 100% about luck... what creates the conditions for luck to occur? What even is luck? And how do you become the luckiest version of yourself in your dating life? This week's episode of The Feminist Dating Show shows you exactly how to create the luckiest love life possible, even if you've never been in a relationship before. Inside Episode 273 you'll learn: 💎 Why the story "I'm just not someone love happens to" isn't protecting you. It's shrinking opportunities your dating life. 💎 The two-part formula behind every lucky love story: proximity to opportunity plus courageous behavior in the face of it 💎 How to do the both/and-- hold real frustration or grief about your dating past without letting it become a prediction about your future 💎 What the both/and reframe actually looks like when you've been ghosted, rejected, or disappointed more times than you can count 💎 What creating the conditions for luck looks like in your love life this week Work with Lily: 🔥 Join my free live training, Attract the Right Partner, Zero Experience Needed: https://datebrazen.com/lets-go 📖 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book ✨ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💜 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💜 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💜 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

You want dating to feel like something you're in charge of, that is going your way, not something that's happening to you. That shift-- from anxious hustle to magnetic momentum-- is what this episode is about. This week on The Feminist Dating Show, Lily breaks down the three levels of dating energy and exactly how to move from bothered and stressed to unbothered in your love life. Inside episode 272: The three levels of dating energy-- student, bothered CEO, unbothered CEO-- and the specific behaviors that tell you where you actually are right now Why the bothered CEO over-personalizes rejection and outsources decisions (and how to stop) The SOP system that removes anxious decision-making from your dating life entirely How to use jealousy and comparison as a compass pointing toward what you want instead of proof that you're behind The ACK method: a three-step framework for getting back to unbothered when rejection happens 💎 Join my free live training, Attract the Right Partner, Zero Experience Needed on June 9th, 2026: https://datebrazen.com/lets-go 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen

This episode gets into why now is the best time to powerfully date — and why how you show up in your dating life is already changing the rest of your life, whether you realize it or not. Inside this episode: Your brain fears rejection the same way it fears death. That's not a dramatic spiral. It's neurobiology, and understanding it changes how much you let fear stop you. Women are socialized not to want things. Wanting a relationship, for your own pleasure and heart, is already a radical act. The way you do one thing is the way you do everything. Playing small in your dating life is costing you at work, in your friendships, and in how much of your actual life you claim. Powerfully dating isn't grinding through the apps until you're numb. It's owning what you want, knowing your value, and showing up with a strategy. Work with Lily: 🔥 Join my free live training, Attract the Right Partner, Zero Experience Needed 📖 Get the book, Thank You, More Please ✨ Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide 💜 Follow me on Instagram 💜 Follow me on TikTok 💜 Follow me on YouTube

If you want to meet someone IRL, but the "how" feels like a total mystery.... This episode tells you exactly why it hasn't happened yet and what to do about it. Inside episode 270: → The two things that determine whether you meet people IRL: proximity to opportunity and courageous behavior in the face of it → What joy building is and why it works →What shooting your shot looks like when you're shy, anxious, or starting from zero → The self-assessment and action steps to take this week Work with Lily: 💎 Join my free live training on June 9th 2026, Attract the Right Partner, Zero Experience Needed → Get the book, Thank You, More Please → Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide → Follow me on Instagram → Follow me on TikTok → Follow me on YouTube

You already know what the worst case scenario looks like. Your brain has mapped it out in extraordinary detail (in its attempt to keep you safe from rejection and vulnerability). This episode is about what happens when you let the best case scenario take up some of that space too. In this episode, Lily walks you through a best case scenario practice designed to open your brain up to possibility to getting exactly what you want-- without forcing you to believe anything you're not ready to believe yet. Inside this episode: Why your brain defaults to worst case scenario thinking and why that habit is not a character flaw The difference between believing something 100% and simply making room for it. You don't have to be fully convinced for it to happen The plan that actually works to believe the best case scenario: "it might not be impossible that..." What your best case scenario sounds like when you say it out loud 💎 Get the book, Thank You, More Please: https://datebrazen.com/book 💎 Learn more about our high touch group program, Main Character Dating, : https://datebrazen.com/dating 💎 Download my free Essence-Based Preferences Creation Guide: https://datebrazen.com/workbook 💎 Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/datebrazen/ 💎 Follow me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@datebrazen 💎 Follow me on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DateBrazen