Live Interview
And why does that matter?
This is how a Mato agent talks. Take the other seat: answer a few and feel it follow the thread.
Podcast charts
Published by Craig Heacock MD
Back from the Abyss will change the way you think about psychiatric illness. Instead of dwelling on diagnoses and treatment theories, you hear patients tell their stories of how they fell into darkness-- and how they found their way back. It's intimate, psychologically deep, medically interesting, sometimes heartbreaking, sometimes funny, and ultimately hopeful. Join psychiatrist Dr. Craig Heacock as he hosts this deep dive into powerfully moving stories of hope and healing, as well as topical explorations of psychopharmacology, psychotherapy, and psychedelics.
On the charts
Every published chart this podcast appears in, in the snapshot behind this page. Each one links to the chart it came off.
From the feed
The latest episodes published to this podcast’s own RSS feed. Titles and descriptions are the publisher’s.
In this season 8 opener Rosy shares both her experience recovering from bipolar disorder and the heartbreak of watching her beloved son begin to show signs of an even more extreme form of bipolar disorder called schizoaffective disorder. This is a story in parallel, two lives deeply intertwined, yet also slowly tearing apart as her son’s illness became increasingly severe. Support the show Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Support the show
In this second of two parts, Laura Mae Northrup shares stories of how she found a healing path through connection, therapy, and psychedelics. Support the show Laura Mae Northrup https://www.lauramaenorthrup.com/ Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Support the show
This is the first of a two part summer special with Laura Mae Northrup, who was first featured in the original BFTA summer special back in 2022. In this first episode, in an excerpt from her wonderful podcast called Inside Eyes, we hear Laura describe her long and grueling battle with suicidality, which emerged as a result of childhood sexual abuse. In the second episode in two weeks, Laura and Dr. H dive deep into her personal healing journey— what worked, what didn’t, and how she was able to finally put her chronic suicidality to rest. Support the show Laura Mae Northrup https://www.lauramaenorthrup.com/ Elemental Psychedelics https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Support the show
After seven years and so many powerful stories, Craig announces a tectonic shift in the BFTA plates. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Closing song-- "Come and go" by Timber Choir Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Support the show
Amidst a long catalog of previous BFTA stories featuring complex or developmental PTSD, today’s story is one of classic DSM-style PTSD, it’s a story of both medical and parenting trauma, of facing the fear of annihilation and death. In this three part story, first we hear Tracy tell of the increasingly severe medical challenges of her children, then Tracy flashes back to describe her own terrifying emergency hospitalization as a 5 year old, then finally we trace Tracy’s treatment journey through traditional psychotherapy and eventual MDMA-assisted therapy as she tries to find a way to calm her nervous system and find peace. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Support the show
In this solo episode Dr. H shares his thoughts on the unexpected risks of feeling too much positive energy and/or identification with a patient. This talk is also a sneak preview into the workshop that Dr. H teaches with Dr. Hillary McBride called "I Love You I Hate You...Are You My Mom?' Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Today’s story is one of genetic predisposition, environmental triggers, and finally a psychiatric flame thrower. Whitney’s uncle had a particularly severe form of bipolar disorder and she too began to develop mood instability and depression as an adolescent. When we think of environmental triggers for mania, we tend to think of sleep deprivation, substances, and the postpartum period. And through her 20s and 30s, Whitney began to have more serious bouts of hypomania during times of sleep deprivation or in her postpartum periods. But it took an increasingly severe weed habit to bring her to the horrors of mania with psychosis. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
The US has a major suicide problem, around 50,000 people every year, and 60% of these suicides are gun suicides. The number one risk factor for completed suicide is not depression or anxiety or addiction….it’s access to means, and it turns out that it’s actually not that easy to impulsively kill yourself, unless you have ready access to a gun. We are finally starting to talk about ways to keep guns out of the hands of potentially suicidal people, and a concrete step in that direction is something called Donna’s Law— a program where people can voluntarily be put on a no-sell list during times of psychological crisis or instability. Donna’s Law is named after Donna Nathan, who impulsively bought a handgun in 2018 in New Orleans and shot herself during a period of psychiatric crisis. There were no barriers in place, no waiting period or no-sell list...Donna found easy access to means and paid the ultimate price. We first hear the voice of Katrina Brees, Donna’s daughter. Katrina tells us more about who Donna was, how she lived and how she died. After we hear from Katrina, Dr. H leads a discussion with two prominent Colorado voices for both Donna’s law in particular and suicide prevention in general— Dr. Dave Iverson is a Denver-based psychiatrist, a board member of Colorado Ceasefire, and lifelong advocate for society’s most vulnerable folks, including those on the streets or in the justice system… also Ginny Mack joins the conversation, she is a Ft Collins-based psychiatric nurse practitioner, a Navy Veteran, and a longtime advocate for suicide prevention efforts on the state and local level. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Donna's Law for Suicide Prevention https://www.donnaslaw.com/ Donna's Law for Colorado https://www.donnaslawforco.com/ Colorado listeners who would like to get involved in the awareness campaign for Donna's Law, please email: donnaslawforco@gmail.com Golden Gate suicide study https://www.goldengate.org/assets/1/6/suicide-deterrent-seiden-study.pdf Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Today’s story explores how we love, how we grieve, and how we eventually find some sort of equilibrium thereafter. This episode is a heartbreaking, yet beautiful story by Colorado-based somatic therapist Darci Meyers about her journey through multiple losses, grief, and ongoing recovery. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Darci Meyers http://www.darcimeyers.com/ Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Explore every episode through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to the podcast. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Kari reconnected with her birth mother in her 40s and finally began to understand the suffering for which she had no words. This is a story of adoption and reunification, of forgetting and remembering, of finding a truth without words in the wisdom of the body. Kari’s birth mother was able to see something deep in Kari that she had never had words for….and thus began her path toward healing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ Elemental Psychedelics Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy Training https://www.elementalpsychedelics.com/ketaminetraining Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Kate started her addiction journey at a young age, using substances as a salve for her terrible grief. Later, drugs and alcohol helped her to cope with the transition to nursing and the unending demands of a hospital setting. But as with all addicts, this strategy worked until it didn’t….Kate eventually had to find a new way to cope if she was going to survive past her 30s. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Kate Gibson (The Coleman Institute) Kate@thecolemaninstitute.com; Kate.gibson.dnp@gmail.com Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ BFTA on IG @backfromtheabysspodcast https://www.instagram.com/backfromtheabysspodcast/ Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Dr. H dives deep into a patient's scary, confusing, and ill-advised list of psych meds to illustrate some deeper truths and lessons about psychopharmacology and the med management model of psychiatry. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Dr. H sits down with Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher, Medical Director of the TMS Clinic at the University of Colorado- Anschutz to explore the growing role of TMS and neuromodulation in psychiatry. They explore questions such as: •How should we think about TMS vs ketamine in the treatment of depression? Trauma? OCD? •Who are the best candidates for TMS? •What are the relative merits of intensive TMS (SAINT) vs standard protocols? •How might TMS and ketamine work together to promote psychiatric stability? Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Elizabeth Fenstermacher https://som.cuanschutz.edu/Profiles/Faculty/Profile/33013 Patient selection for TMS- Case report with Dr. Fenstermacher https://journals.lww.com/hrpjournal/fulltext/2025/11000/case_report__personalizing_transcranial_magnetic.3.aspx Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
There is a growing awareness in psychiatry that not all psychiatric illness is psychiatric— some percentage of what presents in psychiatric settings is actually triggered by autoimmune responses to various pathogens and insults. In the late '90s a syndrome called PANDAS (pediatric autoimmune neuropsychiatric disorders associated with strep) came on the scene with cases of sudden onset OCD and tics that appeared in conjunction with strep infections. The theory behind PANDAS was that parts of the basal ganglia of the brain had exterior cell proteins which were very similar to those of the strep bacteria, and as the immune system began to attack the strep bacteria, it also began an autoimmune assault on parts of the midbrain, including the basal ganglia, thus producing a sudden onset of OCD or tics. In recent years PANDAS has evolved into a broader concept called PANS— pediatric acute onset neuropsychiatric syndrome— which includes a vast array of neurological and psychiatric symptoms and syndromes that can potentially be triggered by autoimmune reactions. It can be tricky to diagnose PANS….this is probably why it is still a somewhat controversial diagnosis in some arenas. We don’t have a clear and consistent set of labs or biomarkers to positively determine PANS, and because the syndrome is so broad in how it can present, clinicians struggle to come up with a modal or average presentation that they can put in their pattern recognition systems. One feature that seems fairly classic for PANS is that the symptoms tend to increase during and/or right after a concomitant infectious illness, presumably because the immune system activation is reigniting the autoimmune attack on the central nervous system. Today’s story features a mom, Kari, and her daughter, Zoe. Zoe had lots of illness and immune system issues as a young child, first fatigue and then GI symptoms, then profound mood instability, and then she eventually developed horrific treatment resistant anorexia which did not respond to the best treatments psychiatry had to offer. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Psychotherapy can often get stuck in a there and then storytelling mode....how do we shift the therapeutic encounter into the immediacy of the Here and Now? Here Dr. H shares 10 questions which shine a spotlight on what's happening (and not happening!) between therapist and patient. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Bringing Therapy into Med Management-- An intensive workshop for psych NPs and PAs, June 3-6 2026 in Ft Collins https://www.craigheacockmd.com/bringing-therapy-into-med-management/ "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference and countertransference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver/Chilliwack BC Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Dr. H sits down with Jade Miller, a peer support specialist and advocate for public education about DID (Dissociative Identity Disorder). In the first part of this episode, Jade shares her story and how she came to understand that the puzzling gaps and often frightening incongruities in her life were caused by her rotating through a number of dissociated identities or alters, initially protecting her… but eventually leaving her powerless to stop repeated traumatization. Jade and Dr. H then talk shop about DID and Jade challenges some of Dr. H's long held beliefs. Jade Miller https://peersupportformultiples.com/ Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
BFTA storyteller Frank shares the joy, confusion, chaos, utter fear, and deepest gratitude when he and his partner Brad adopted and raised two boys, ages 4 and 2, from the foster care system. Twenty years ago, when Frank adopted the boys, trauma was not in the public awareness as it is today, and he was told that these little boys, who had spent some time in a meth house, might well have some challenges…..but he never could have expected what awaited. Can love overcome trauma? Can stability and structure and patience and compassion adequately compensate for profound early childhood neglect and abuse? Frank’s story is just one example, but it’s a beautiful one, these two dads trying to find a way to heal deep attachment wounds without a roadmap. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Rachael, a trauma therapist and today's storyteller, describes how her early childhood abuse was buried by the protective mechanism of dissociative amnesia. As Rachael wrote to Dr. H, “The only way I could continue to live, with no way out, with no one to tell, with no words even to describe what was happening to me, was to forget what was happening to me….when our minds forget, our bodies remember.” Rachael saved herself by forgetting, then was forced to finally face what happened to her when her body carried out its ultimate rebellion in the context of having her third child, her first girl….a little baby girl, with no one to protect her….or at least that’s what the terrible and unrelenting obsessions began to say. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Rachael Parsons Svendsen https://www.rachaelsvendsen.com/ Explore the podcast through themes, domains, formats, and speakers. The BFTA CODEX is a listener-built and curated field guide to every episode. https://bfta-codex.org "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, June 18-20 2026 in Vancouver BC https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
This story is a mirror to Elizabeth’s story from season 1 episode 1. Today’s storyteller Sarah was so moved by Elizabeth’s story that it helped her to trust Dr. H's recommendation to take a pretty scary medication, the extremely powerful antipsychotic and mood stabilizer called clozapine. So why tell this story again? As they say, history doesn’t repeat itself, but it does often rhyme, and Sarah’s story rhymes beautifully with Elizabeth’s. Both had severe and treatment resistant bipolar 1 disorder, formerly known as manic-depression. Both tried all the meds, did all the things, then eventually reached a point of utter hopelessness and despair….and then they had to trust Dr. H enough to try one more thing. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
In today’s story we explore what it’s like to be on the autistic spectrum, and more specifically, how a later life diagnosis can totally change the way you view the world and yourself. Aurelie, our storyteller today, was an autism expert, a clinical psychologist who had trained with some of the premier autism experts in the country…yet she didn’t discover her own autism until she was 40 years old. This episode explores why women on the spectrum are so often missed, how women on the autistic spectrum are so often masters of masking, which means imitating the mannerisms and behaviors of neurotypical people, thus allowing them to both fit in and also to be left hiding in plain sight. Support the show! https://www.buzzsprout.com/396871/support Dr. Aurelie Welterlin https://www.ncawag.net/our-team/dr-aurelie-welterlin "I Love You, I Hate You, Are You My Mom?" An intensive experiential workshop exploring transference with Dr. H and Dr. Hillary McBride, Feb 4th-6th 2026 in Joshua Tree, CA https://www.craigheacockmd.com/i-love-you-i-hate-you-are-you-my-mom/ BFTA episode recommendations/Podcast page https://www.craigheacockmd.com/podcast-page/ Support the show
Ranking source
Apple Podcasts rankings via the Mato Topic Intelligence Platform.
Observed September 20, 2026.
Apple and Apple Podcasts are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries.
Pairs with
Bring this source into Mato to read its transferable patterns, then turn them into an original show for your own audience.