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Ask The Nincompoops

Published by Andy Stanton & Carrie Quinlan

  • Kids & family

A riotously funny all-ages podcast where Andy Stanton (author of the Mr Gum books, extremely bright) and Carrie Quinlan (of Radio 4, also extremely bright) allow children (not bright) to ask any questions that they want the answers to. Who invented cheese? What are trees for and why are they everywhere? What’s the opposite of a kettle? Using their immense brains, Andy and Carrie will answer the questions your children ask. The only catch? They’ll do it very, very badly. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask , just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Reviewers call the show ‘amazing,” ‘so good”, and “the best podcast on Planet Earth.” Even the ACTUAL REAL newspaper FOR CLEVER ADULTS, The Guardian, said it's "hilariously surreal...a child-friendly twist on Vic-and-Bob." Picked as one of the BEST PODCASTS FOR CHILDREN by The Huffington Post, The Guardian's BEST PODCASTS FOR KIDS, and a British Podcast Award nominee for BEST FAMILY PODCAST. Love from Carrie and Andy (aka the Nincompoops) xx Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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On the charts

1 chart placement

Every published chart this podcast appears in, in the snapshot behind this page. Each one links to the chart it came off.

  1. Number 169Kids & familyUnited Kingdom

From the feed

Recent episodes

The latest episodes published to this podcast’s own RSS feed. Titles and descriptions are the publisher’s.

  1. Term 4 Lesson 2: Who Invented Love? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 12, 202615 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... WHO INVENTED LOVE? (William, 13) WHY DO WE BRUSH OUR TEETH? (Jayden, 11) CAN CARROTS GROW ON THE MOON? (Wolfie, 12) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  2. ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS live at the London Podcast Festival 2026! from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 5, 20261 min

    Do you need edumacating LIVE? Of course you do! Andy and Carrie bring their huge squishy brains to amaze, inform and delight for one day only at the London Podcast Festival 2026! All ages are encouraged to bring the questions they want answered as Andy and Carrie's huge squishy brains will amaze, inform and delight. The lesson begins at 11.30am on Saturday 12th September 2026 at Kings Place in London - go to kingsplace.co.uk for tickets! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  3. Term 4 Lesson 1: Why Don't Trees Grow On Trees? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 5, 202610 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. This episode's questions are... WHY DON'T TREES GROW ON TREES? (Jack, 9) WHEN WAS THE TENT INVENTED? (Etienne, 8) WHY DO THINGS HAVE NAMES? (Charlie, 7) CAN ANTS JUMP? (Will, 13) It's time to....ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS! This podcast is suitable for all the family. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  4. ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS are back AND NEED YOUR QUESTIONS! from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    May 14, 20261 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Send all your questions about things you want to have explained to you, professionally, in our new upcoming series to ASKTHENINCOMPOOPS@GMAIL.COM! Or if you don't have a caps lock button, askthenincompoops@gmail.com. And Andy and Carrie will answer them for you on our next exciting and informative series, hosted by two actual GENIUSES for the benefit of the unbright (that's you). This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  5. Term 3 Lesson 15: Do Rocks and Pebbles Taste Nice? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Dec 9, 202319 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  6. Term 3 Lesson 14: Why Do Flamingos Stand On One Leg? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Dec 2, 202322 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! Why do ladybirds have six legs? How does hair grow? How did nothing start? And why are nuts healthy? This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  7. Term 3, Lesson 13: Why Are Sprouts Disgusting? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Nov 25, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  8. Term 3 Lesson 12: What Is The World Made Of? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Nov 18, 202321 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  9. Term 3, Lesson 11: Where Does All The Poo In The World End Up? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Nov 11, 202323 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  10. Term 3, Lesson 10: Who Invented The Door? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Nov 3, 202321 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  11. Term 3, Lesson 9 : Why Do Horsemen Have Babies? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Oct 28, 202321 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  12. Term 3, Lesson 8: How Do You Make Scrambled Eggs? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Oct 21, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  13. Term 3, Lesson 7: Who Invented Ketchup? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Oct 14, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  14. Term 3, Lesson 6: How Long Have You Been Doing This? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Oct 7, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  15. Term 3, Lesson 5: How Big Was The World’s Biggest Crisp Ever? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 30, 202319 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  16. Term 3, Lesson 4: Why Do Speakers Make Music Loud? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 23, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  17. Term 3, Lesson 3: Who Invented Cricket? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 16, 202323 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if you would like to be taught LIVE and IN PERSON, then book a ticket for our all-ages family show at the London Podcast Festival on Saturday, 16th September 2023 (which is LITERALLY TODAY if you're reading this on the day it came out). Tickets here ! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  18. Term 3, Lesson 2: Why Do Adults Drink Horrible Things Like Coffee? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 9, 202320 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  19. Term 3, Lesson 1: Why Is Water See-Through? from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Sep 2, 202321 min

    Are you a very unintelligent child? Of COURSE you are. It's well known by clever adults that you kids know NOTHING. But don't cry because you won't be unedumacated for much longer. Carrie Quinlan (a VERY clever grown-up) and Andy Stanton (who is also a VERY clever grown-up, thank you, actually) are here to educate the world's children and answer their soft, squashy brain questions using GROWN-UP KNOWLEDGE. It's time to....Ask The Nincompoops! This podcast is suitable for all the family! And if you would like to be taught LIVE and IN PERSON, then book a ticket for our all-ages family show at the London Podcast Festival on the 16th September 2023! Tickets here ! If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

  20. ASK THE NINCOMPOOPS ARE BACK! from Ask The Nincompoops, opens in a new tab

    Aug 25, 20231 min

    Ask The Nincompoops are BACK! And they're going to STAY BEING BACK! What are you doing on Saturday mornings? Well from now on, you're being EDUMACATED. From next week, there'll be a new episode every Saturday morning when you wake up (unless you wake up at 3am - it won't be ready at that time. You also might need to see a sleep specialist). And there's a brand new live show coming to London soon too. A university-standard education for your children under 10 in just an hour.* Tickets here! https://www.kingsplace.co.uk/whats-on/family/ask-the-nincompoops-3/ *This statement has been queried by a disappointing number of university chancellors, lecturers, lawyers, newspapers and attendees. But they're all wrong. It is. If you have a question you want these two geniuses to ask, just send it, with your name and age, to askthenincompoops@gmail.com - and we'll try to answer them in an upcoming episode! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Apple Podcasts rankings via the Mato Topic Intelligence Platform.

Observed September 20, 2026.

Apple and Apple Podcasts are trademarks of Apple Inc., registered in the U.S. and other countries.

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