Barjory Buffet: The Cruise Detective

Send us Fan Mail Hey look! A bonus episode to prove we're still alive! As Bidge recovers from surgery that was elective for her but forced on the doctors, Neil uses her hospital stay to show off his big showbiz reel. No one is surprised he's bad at press tours, except for Pigi who is surprised by everything. And while you're killing time til Season Three which we swear is coming, you can also: Check out our Patreon and our new podcast Book Fair , where we review books from our childhood that we made up. Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Elijah Katz as: Rodge Badgebeach Kelsey Buckley as: Fally Jimmels, Bob Eubanks, Joe Sabia, DJ Neetfreek Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Pigi Podiatrist, Sean Evans

Send us Fan Mail Criming soon to a theater near you: It’s a red carpet but from blood when a film premiere is intermissioned by an attack on a Hollywood elite! Now Barjory must pour herself a tall glass of popcorn and investigate the too many theaters of the movie cruise The Gigaplex! Presented in glorious Barjor-Y-Scope, the Smell-o-Vision of the ears. (And this is our finale before the hiatus, so check out our Patreon for weekly content in the meantime because the meantime’s usually a lot of time: patreon.com/bbthecd ) Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Lyndsey Kempf as: Melora Galore Brian Fitzgerald as: Shuck Dox Jake Hess as: Bryler Velveeto Kelsey Buckley as: Dava C. Schwimmer Allie Wittner as: Westlin Justinly, Janine Greg Marcos Gonzales as: Chaz Casper Katie Bowman as: Amby Canterlope Jordan Wold as: Niles Greg Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Pigi Podiatrist

Send us Fan Mail Barjory heads down south, VERY down south, for a South Pole sleuthing. The only living things in Antarctica are her ex lovers and penguins, and we don’t even include any penguins or maybe we do but they’re just quiet and keep to themselves! (Check out our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, postcard club, and more(?!) on our Patreon: patreon.com/bbthecd ) Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Vera Drew as: Dr. Rosacia Stone Pablo Escabosa as: Captain Lyle P. Dolphay Mark Gallagher as: Skapper Branson Knowles as: Fred Christ Kelsey Buckley as: Wendily Magi Calcagne as: Narrator

Send us Fan Mail It's you vs. us vs. uterus when Barjory is kidnapped by pregnant pirates aboard a gigantic ship in a bottle. Now she has to get a mysterious treasure to Captain Stuffbeard, the pirate with stuff in his beard, and the only craving she's got is for justice! And also sugar and liquor! (Check out our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, postcard club, and more(?!) on our Patreon: patreon.com/bbthecd ) Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Hannah Jones as: Captain Mildreadful Pablo Escobosa as: Jack Sbarro Mark Gallagher as: Stuffbeard the Pirate Marcos Gonzales as: Nicoleast Apartheid Damon Howard as: Captain Stroganoff Katie Bowman as: Blondebob Kelsey Buckley as: Shipwreckecca Jake Hess as: Drent Dickridge Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Pigi Podiatrist

Send us Fan Mail https://www.patreon.com/bbthecd What a surprising treat! As a fun midseason intermission, join Brad and Rachel for the making of an episode and if you like it, keep joining us over at our Patreon!

Send us Fan Mail This rain check just bounced! Bidge must stop an ultrastorm from hitting a weatherman convention, which they especially should’ve seen coming but let’s just say it these guys don’t always nail the weather! (Check out our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, postcard club, and more(?!) on our Patreon: patreon.com/bbthecd ) Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Yesi Rego as: Lizzlie Drizzle Kevin McCarthy as: Cycloney Tony Nako Narter as: Blanche Avalanche Branson Knowles as: Anchor Julia Lebow as: Game Show Contestant Kelsey Buckley as: Game Show Announcer Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Pigi Podiatrist

Send us Fan Mail The tomorrowyear of yesternow becomes the fornever of last Smunday when a World’s Fair Cruise is attacked by Barjory’s old octopedal nemesis Seth LePod! Now this adult science fair is between a wet genius, a drunk genius, a third genius trying to uninvent crime, a bunch of other ones, and then Neil. (Check out our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, postcard club, and more(?!) on our Patreon: patreon.com/bbthecd ) Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Pierce Campion as: Seth LePod Kyle McCormick as: Marv Morrow Danielle Shvartsman as: Eelixandra Phibious Kevin McCarthy as: Dr. Krillian Salmonelli, Beefcake Julia Lebow as: Dr. Pirhonda Sandoller Nako Narter as: Dr. Amandatee Crabagail Kelsey Buckley as: Dr. Marliny Fishgerald Yesi Rego as: Hologram Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Pigi Podiatrist

Send us Fan Mail Barjory climbs out of a watery grave and into the trash to stage a rematch with her nefariousest foes! Now she must navigate three villains, The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, flashbacks to her first case, former Vice President Al Gore, and a whole lotta Neil in this epic-poem-length episode!! Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Kaylin Mahoney as: Dr. Kelpsy Quarium Will Stryker as: Aloejandro van Alvess Greg Goodness as: The Satin Seagull Eli Lutsky as: King Al Gore Melissa Strype as: Marjomin Buffet Joey Pleasants as: Benjory Buffet Jordan Wold as: Niles Greg Elijah Katz as: Rodge Badgebeach Nako Narter as: Lenny Kelsey Buckley as: Benny Magi Calcagne as: Narrator And check out our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, postcard club, and more(?!) on our Patreon: patreon.com/bbthecd

Send us Fan Mail Wait what?? Barjory Buffet season two is starting in two weeks? But that’s all, right? No??? Check out our Patreon for our Between the Scenes podcast, early episode releases, and, sorry what else? Much much more??? Aaahhh!! https://www.patreon.com/bbthecd

Send us Fan Mail With all the best places (cruises) closed, Barjory is forced to go to the worst place (Neil's house), and solve a crime that he honestly won't stop bugging her about. Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Neighbor We also have masks now! You'd better wear a mask and if you want it can be OURS! https://www.redbubble.com/i/mask/Barjory-Buffet-The-Cruise-Detective-Hawaiian-Shirt-Mask-by-bradbeideman/51808070.9G0D8 https://www.redbubble.com/i/mask/Barjory-Buffet-The-Cruise-Detective-Mask-by-bradbeideman/51807982.9G0D8

Send us Fan Mail Before Barjory Buffet became the only anybody to have jurisdiction over international waters, she was an asshole in her 20’s who had no idea how to live. Barjory’s first foray into crime solving is classic story of a landlocked woman following her own horniness to bring about justice. Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet, Woman Speaking Magi Calcagne as: Narrator

Send us Fan Mail Produced in response to an angry voicemail, this verbatim reading of a Dame Drewzel Scream short story is sure to please diehard fans and her son who left the voicemail. Barjory solves a crime by looking at a cartoon in a really smart and good story by the matriarch of a smart and good family. Don’t sue us please! Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Magi Calcagne as: Narrator

Send us Fan Mail Recorded LIVE from the Pack Theater, Bidge takes the stage to investigate an understudy who was upstaged by her own death. But can Bidge solve it before murder comes back for an encore and really hams it up this time?? Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Magi Calcagne as: Maude Yonkers, Narrator, Background Voices Kevin McCarthy as: Alvin O’Calvin, Background Voices Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg, Background Voices AND, vote for us in the Audio Verse Awards if you want! https://audioverseawards.net/vote/ We’re nominated for Lead Actor, Supporting Actor, Audio Play Production, Writing for an Audio Play Production, and Action Sound Design in a Production. To vote, get a laptop, find us (control-F it maybe), and drag us to the right with whoever else you wanna vote for! It’s that simple! Medium simple!

Send us Fan Mail Barjory's greatest foes escape the Sail Jail, hungry for a yummy snack called revenge! Oh my god! It's three versus one and a Neil in the season finale to end all episodes this season! Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet the Cruise Detective Kaylin Mahoney as: Dr. Kelpsy Quarium Will Stryker as: Aloejandro van Alvess Greg Goodness as: CJ Seagulls the Satin Seagull Brad Beideman as: Neil Greg Magi Calcagne as: Piggy Podiatrist, Narrator, Nikki McNarkols Jordan Wold as: Dr. Niles Greg Melissa Strype: Margamin Joey Pleasants as: Benjory Elijah Katz as: Rodge Badgebeach

Send us Fan Mail When a prince is attacked during a hemophilia gala (the annual Cruisin’ for a Bruisin’), Barjory must solve it before the ocean runs red with wishy washy blood! Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Eli Lutsky as: Prince Geraldo Will Stryker as: Prince Nedwaldo Kaylin Mahoney as: Queen Winceworth John Lemelman as: Giaccamo, Wallis Magi Calcagne as: Narrator

Send us Fan Mail Barjory investigates her wettest crime scene yet, with the help of an old friend, a basketball legend, and a guy named Chris who sets up some plot stuff and then never comes back! Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Kaylin Mahoney as: Dr. Kelpsy Quarium Kevin McCarthy as: Abernathy Shark Will Stryker as: S.A. Dorkfish Eli Lutsky as: Chris/Mr. Remora Magi Calcagne as: Narrator/Peg Brad Beideman as: Neil Shaquille O’Neal as: Himself (archive audio)

Send us Fan Mail Barjory has a normal day serving as a whale bodyguard on Boston’s premiere sushi boat until something pretty unusual mucks it all up! Written by Rachel Crowe and Brad Beideman Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet John Lemelman as: Puglassie, Pugnasty, Captain Leonberger Ben Ellenberg as: Lieutenant Harbormaster Gifford Roscoe Brad Beideman as: Neil Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Piggy

Send us Fan Mail Barjory boards a brunch boat and gets served a heaping helping of what’s going on by mysterious competitive eater Ipso Fatso! Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Allie Wittner as: Frittata McMuffin Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Joan

Send us Fan Mail Barjory spends her holiday on the Santa Cruz Santa Cruise, where some kinda mean ole Scrooge is killing Santas! Everyone learns a lesson that giving is better than getting (getting killed, that is!!!!!), in this sort of interactive mini mystery! Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet Pablo Escobosa as: Junior Inspector Santa Will Stryker as: Mean Santa Magi Calcagne as: Narrator

Send us Fan Mail Cruise Detective Barjory Buffet is challenged to thwart the cruise casino heist of master thief The Satin Seagull. Can she do it? Maybe with the help of a pizza robot, an obscure impersonator act, and not Neil! Written by Brad Beideman and Rachel Crowe Edited by Brad Beideman Rachel Crowe as: Barjory Buffet, Buffaloon Greg Goodness as: CJ Seagulls the Satin Seagull John Lemelman as: Quig, Vault Guard, and Kidsino Kid Brad Beideman as: Neil Eli Lutsky as: Malcolm Gladwell Impersonator, Normal Waiter Magi Calcagne as: Narrator, Piggy Pediatrist, Scottish Waiter