Brave Love Great Sex – Couples Therapy Podcast

In this Foreplay Replay we discuss how we bring our expectations along with us into any situation. Particularly with our partner, we have a host of expectations that we want our partner to fulfill. A couple can run into problems if their expectations are not discussed, negotiated, and clarified. Join sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they talk about expectations in our relationships. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode we are discussing the role and inner world of the sexual pursuer. Join Laurie and George for an expert role play to learn how the sexual pursuer can clearly communicate their feelings and needs without defense and blame. They highlight that the pursuer often focuses on changing the behavior of the withdrawer but it is more effective when they can share their vulnerability to their partner. Our hosts remind us that initiating sex is a secure move in a relationship. The anxiety that develops is problematic and creates the negative cycle. Listen in to learn how to stay present with your own experience, communicate securely and work with your partner regarding your sexual worlds. We break down these roles very clearly in our book Brave Love, Great Sex. It's out next week, make sure to grab your copy today! Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the pod!): Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite personal lubricant for the last 25 years! Check it out, it's great! Use 'BraveLove' at checkout to let them know we sent you (and get a discount)! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Foreplay Replay we discuss the path to a long-term successful relationship requires putting your relationship above your individual interests, which runs counter to where we always start and where our culture starts, which is 'me first.' Join sex therapist and author Laurie Watson and couple's therapist Dr. Adam Mathews as they discuss how to win the relationship game and how to avoid 'starfish sex.' Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we are diving into the world of the emotional withdrawer. When the withdrawer is feeling overwhelmed, they may pull away or shut down, often leaving their partner feeling confused and isolated. Listen in as we explore the underlying reasons for this dynamic and provide practical steps to help withdrawers re-engage with their partners. We discuss how to create a safer space for vulnerability and the importance of attunement in breaking the cycle. Whether you are the withdrawer or the partner, you'll gain valuable insights into building a more secure and connected relationship. Let us know your thoughts on our instagram @BraveLoveGreatSex and don't forget to pre-order a copy of our book, Brave Love, Great Sex Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Foreplay Replay we talk about how it is believed that 3-6% of people in the U.S. struggle with sexual compulsion, all genders can be affected. Sometimes sexual activities become compulsive and lead to damaging pattern in people's relationships and work lives. Defining sexual compulsion is best done by identifying certain patterns and behaviors... Some of these include overindulging in porn, loss in interest in sex with their partner, having a "secret" life seeking seeking sexual activities elsewhere, the escalation of risky sexual behaviors, or neglecting responsibilities due to their sex addiction. It’s difficult for many to understand what drives a person into these behaviors, which are clearly antithetical to relationships and how love-making bonds us to our partner. How do we understand and begin healing sexual addiction? Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we are delving into the world of the emotional pursuer. Join our hosts, Laurie and George to talk about what it looks like when a partner is constantly seeking connection, why that pursuit can sometimes feel overwhelming, and how both partners can shift their approach to create a more balanced and secure bond. We look at the underlying attachment needs that drive this behavior and offer practical steps to turn the pursuit into an invitation for closeness. Make sure to listen in to learn how to navigate these moments and reconnect with your partner! Don't forget to follow us on our socials @BraveLoveGreatSex for more relationship tips and updates. Pre-order your copy of Brave Love, Great Sex today; out on September 16th. Support this episode's sponsor (and help the 'pod): Uberlube.com - Laurie's long time favorite personal lubricant. Use the code 'BraveLove' at checkout! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In the foreplay replay we talk about how men who feel sex as their primary path to connection are often  told "all they want is sex."  Indeed, sex is exciting and pleasurable to them but also the way they feel and want to express love and connection.  Listen to George Faller and Laurie Watson talk about how men feel about sex; why the couple needs their sexual motivation and what they can do to have more of it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this foreplay replay we talk about how Affairs devastate the trust and connection in a committed relationship… Although healing after an affair is a delicate process and can feel impossible, we believe that recovery and reconnection is possible! What works best to restore the relationship and trust?  Acting out in an affair is often a sign of problems with the person’s life or relationship. A push/pull dynamic can fuel the infidelity… While sexual betrayal strikes at the very heart of commitment, marriages and partnerships can often emerge stronger after an affair. Join sex therapist Dr. Laurie Watson and couples therapist George Faller, LMFT as they talk about the causes and how to recover from the pain of infidelity... Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, our hosts are joined by renowned Shibari Artist, Kati Bird. Shibari is the Japanese art of decorative rope bondage.  Listen in for this exciting conversation as Kati shares more about the art and how it can be transformative for couples. Kati details how the process involves clear and explicit conversation between partners and can create a somatic experience that evokes emotional intimacy as well as physical. She shares that there is frequent checking in, attunement and the creation of space for communication that can allow participants to experience deeply. This unique practice has many benefits and with Kati helps educate and reduce fear and stigma around the practice of Shibari. If you'd like more information or to work with Kati directly; visit her website at www.shibariunraveled.com Lovers--we are less than one month away from the release of our book. Make sure to order your copy of Brave Love, Great Sex today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we answer a mailbag question from a long-time listener. Our listener is a sexual pursuer wanting to know how to improve things in their sexless marriage. Join Laurie and George as they provide expert advice on how to prioritize your relationship during the busy parenting years, identify where you are blocking connection and effective ways to communicate this intimate conversation. Their role play shows how to correct a negative cycle and get the conversation moving in a positive and meaningful direction. Want to get your question answered on an episode? Head over to our website and drop a message in our mailbag. We love to hear from our listeners! Brave Love, Great Sex out on September 15th--pre-order your copy today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this foreplay replay we talk a lot about romance outside of the bedroom, but what does a romantic interlude look like? “I wish my partner were more romantic in bed” is a statement we often hear from women. “Are you kidding me?” is a retort we often hear from men. “I thought we were done with all the jumping through hoops after we got married.” While it is true that many men feel as described, it’s also true that both men and women appreciate romance and thoughtfulness in relationships. Bringing romance to a relationship will differ for everyone but based on our experience, there are 4 important elements for adding spice to the bedroom! Let's break down each of these steps! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we explore the often overlooked topic of loss during menopause. Navigating this life transition can bring up unexpected grief, changes in identity, and shifts in physical intimacy. Join us as we discuss how to honor these experiences, communicate needs to your partner, and find new ways to connect during the hormonal and emotional tides. Listen in as George and Laurie break the silence and help you find support through this significant chapter of life. Make sure to pre-order a copy of our book, Brave Love, Great Sex, and follow us on our socials @BraveLoveGreatSex for updates and more relationship tips! As always, keep it hot! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this foreplay replay we cover contempt, one of the most dangerous emotions in a relationship. This episode covers the markers of contemptuous behavior and why it's so destructive to a marriage. Laurie and Dr. Adam offer advice on recognizing this powerful emotion and how to bring the humanity back into your relationship. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, we are discussing boundaries. The term boundaries can be found everywhere now on social media and today we are breaking down what healthy boundaries are and are not. There is a lot of misinformation on boundaries and we are here to set the record straight! Join George and Laurie as they discuss what healthy boundaries in a relationship sound like, how to say no with care and how these guardrails protect and support your relationship. You'll also learn more about rigidity and defensiveness disguised as boundaries and how to work yourself out of this dynamic. What do boundaries mean to you and how do they show up in your relationship? Remember to pre-order a copy of our book now! Brave Love, Great Sex available on September 15th.  Check out this episode's sponsor (and help the 'pod!): uberlube.com - Laurie's long-time favorite personal lubricant. Use the code 'bravelove' at checkout to receive a discount! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When someone is committed to fidelity and their partner absolutely does not want sex—is there any hope? Technically, sexless is considered less than 10x a year—but for some people, there is no sex. Sometimes each partner still has desire but they don't know how to talk about it. They may even masturbate on their own but feel it's too complicated to share with their partner. Sometimes the sexual pursuer just gives up and becomes a sexual withdrawer. The danger of a sexless marriage is that the couple may not feel the love of or for their partner and become subject to the temptation of others. They may long for the sexual connection they shared in the beginning; George and Laurie share some ideas about how taking their clothes off again can be safer. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode we are talking about how we can achieve better communication even if we have very different communication styles. Laurie and George discuss the idea of relationship continuity. Partners remember something that is important to the other and bring it up or initiate connection. Listen in as they discuss some of the differences between men and women's brains and positive ways to stretch beyond me and care for "us." They offer an expert roleplay to break down to listeners how to get back on track to attunement when continuity is disrupted. A great reminder, it's not just you or me, it's also "we." Need more support in your relationship? Make sure to sign up for our virtual couples retreat in November and pre-order a copy of our book Brave Love, Great Sex today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Let's talk about five primary emotions: joy, fear, anger, sadness, shame, and disgust – feeling all of them is important, especially with your partner. Emotions are the language of the body. They say, "pay attention, something's happening!" But so often we don't pay attention, choosing, consciously or unconsciously, to disconnect... We may have been raised in homes where anger was expressed in an unhealthy way, joy covered by a wet blanket, or shame used to control and manipulate our behavior. Regardless of how our childhoods taught us to relate to emotions, we can rewrite the script by creating healthy emotional attachments and responses. While there are many tools we can use to do that, in this episode we're going to talk about co-regulation and co-creation ("CoCo.") And learn how to share and navigate emotions together. If your loved one is excited, you match their excitement. If your loved one is angry, you honor their anger. Co-regulation is not co-dependency. Co-regulation does not say, "I feel happy only if you're happy." It says, "You feel happy, and I'm happy for you." Co-regulation allows the witness to be there for their partner while also honoring their own emotions. Most of the time, people don't understand the emotion they're in, and they need someone to support them in a curious and non-judgemental way. Co-creation allows partners to act as witnesses for each other. By asking questions and being present, the witness can help the emoter explore and deepen their understanding of their feelings. Listen to learn how to apply 'CoCo' to your relationship and create positive shifts in your emotional and sexual cycles!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode we are discussing reaching withdrawers through the body.  When the withdrawer is anticipating something negative, they become activated, freeze and fall into a shame spiral. This shame spiral causes distance in the partnership and is a step in the negative cycle. Creating body awareness, and identifying what feelings are present can help withdrawers slow down and stay engaged. Listeners will learn how to do this today using the acronym ROC. R-elax, O-pen up, C-onnect. George guides the audience through, how to relax, opening up and getting curious, and connecting with others on your experience. This practice builds the skills of self-awareness, regulation and improved communication in relationships. How can you use ROC in your life? Let us know on our instagram @BraveLoveGreatSex and don't forget to pre-order a copy of our book by the same name! Check out Owen Marcus's organization Meld to find out more. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You grind so hard all year in hopes to spend quality time during the holiday season with your love but when the time comes you end up getting caught in the cycle. Has this ever happened to you? The holiday season brings out the extremes and primes relationships for the classic blame/attack cycle. Partners locked in tension often scream "you're too much/you're not enough" while putting on cheerful faces for family photoshoots and out of town visitors. We see the challenge and we've been there before! Join our hosts today as we open up a conversation on the many conflicts couples face during the holidays and how to stress less together. George and Laurie discuss the invisible workload and mental labor that goes into making holiday magic, the demands on time and energy and the cycles that couples get locked in. This episode will help each partner expand their perspectives and start a valuable dialogue of ways to support one another better, increase appreciation and create time to step under the mistletoe. We know that making memories isn't easy work and we want to prevent your relationship from taking the hard hits this year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome Brave Lovers! In today's episode, Laurie is joined by EFT couples therapist Jef Slootmaekers. Jef is an EFT trainer hailing from Belgium and is the author of a new book on shame called Shame in Psychotherapy: The Art of Appearing (English translation coming in September 2026). He is also the coauthor of Fighting for Connection: Perspectives on Conflict and Intimate Partner Violence . This fantastic episode starts with the question "If shame had a voice, what would it want us to understand about being human?" and dives deep into our need to belong to each other, the ways we experience shame, its healthy functions and how toxic core shame is developed. All persons feel shame but our response to shame can either be adaptive or create negative stories that organize and influence our relationships with ourselves and others. Walk through this conversation with Laurie and Jef to learn the healthy functions of shame, why living in a world without shame would be like driving around New York City without traffic lights. Learn how to recognize unhealthy shame and ways to uncondition yourself from the rigid stories it has created. We all need to feel safe and belong and this conversation helps shine a light in the dark places we keep to ourselves but can also keep us stuck. This conversation brings a lightness and hope to what can be a heavy topic and you'll walk away with action steps on how to begin healing toxic shame. Take care Brave Lovers!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices