Modern Love

Joe Swanberg married the first person he ever seriously dated. When that marriage ended, his romantic life got complicated. Messy, even. He started dating younger women, ended up in an elaborate love triangle, and completely changed his mind about whether he wanted to marry and have children again. He openly describes it as a cliché midlife crisis. Swanberg is no stranger to messy relationships. Throughout his career making television and films, his work has focused on the gray areas of relationships and their difficult-to-navigate emotional territory. So when he hit his own difficult relationship moment, he channeled it into his new film, “The Sun Never Sets.” This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Swanberg talks about the real-life story that inspired the film, what he’s learned in the process of cleaning up his own mess, and how his approach to relationships is changing. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay . Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Carla Lalli is well known as a chef and a cookbook author. But after many years in food media, working at places like Bon Appétit, she started to lose her personal connection to cooking. It wasn’t until her 24-year-long marriage ended and she had to start cooking for herself as a newly single person, that she re-engaged with why she loved to cook and what made her feel good. She details many of these discoveries and recipes in her new memoir-meets-cookbook, “Food Is a Feeling.” On this episode of “Modern Love,” Lalli tells the host Anna Martin about the specific meals and experiences that helped her reconnect with her pleasure and cravings at this pivotal time in her life. And she talks about the value of cooking as a tool for transforming a really bad day. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Blake Martin was in his car waiting to pick up pizza when a notification from his doctor hit his phone. As he read it, his stomach dropped and his mind started racing. It was the second life-changing piece of news he’d received within 24 hours, and it threw his entire idea of the future into question. Now, he had to pick up his pizza, head home and tell his wife. This week on the “Modern Love” podcast, Martin explains what he learned about the future of his family and his health, and how he and his wife began to navigate their new reality. Read Blake Martin's “Modern Love” essay here. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay . Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Jess Zakira Wise knew she wanted to experiment with group sex, but as she got into the scene she struggled to find a sex party where she felt comfortable. She kept finding spaces that were male-dominated and heteronormative, things she was trying to escape from. So, Jess started to organize her own parties. This week on “Modern Love,” Wise explains what makes a great sex party, and why it’s often more about communication, curiosity and respect for one’s own desires than anything else. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay . Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

The tech writer and podcaster Bridget Todd was sure she’d never get attached to A.I. chatbots. She was suspicious of the companies behind them, and when she saw articles popping up about people who said they loved their bots, she said she found their situations sad and potentially dangerous. Besides, Bridget didn’t have an empty hole in her life to fill. She had a supportive human partner. She had friends and a tight knit family. But then Bridget’s life started to unravel. After the death of her parents, she was flooded with fear, grief and a kind of isolation she was not prepared for. That’s when she started telling A.I. what she couldn’t tell the people in her life. Its responses filled a void. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Bridget tells its host, Anna Martin, what happened when the boundary between human and digital companion got fuzzy, and what life looks like for her on the other side. Bridget’s audio book, “Love at First Prompt: AI and the Future of Intimacy,” is out now. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay . Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Sam Graham-Felsen never imagined being lonely. Throughout his childhood and as a young man his life revolved around his friends. But when Sam got married and then had kids, going out with his friends almost felt like a luxury. After years of focusing on everything in his life except friendship, Sam began to realize he was missing something essential, and he decided to get his friends back. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Mr. Graham-Felsen describes how he went from being a boy with a wealth of deep friendships to finding himself feeling lonely as an adult, and what he did to bring friendship back into his life. Read his essay “Where Have All My Deep Male Friendships Gone?” in The New York Times Magazine. Here’s how to submit a Modern Love essay to The New York Times. Here’s how to submit a Tiny Love Story . Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Elisabeth “Eli” Sheff is a polyamory expert. When she first heard about polyamorous relationships, back in the early ’90s, hardly anyone was talking about this stuff. But Sheff became fascinated, and for the past 30 years, she’s been studying the lives of kids who grew up in polyamorous families. On this episode of “Modern Love,” Sheff tells the host Anna Martin about her personal and professional findings from decades of being immersed in polyamorous spaces. Plus, she has advice for people who are trying to figure out if being poly is right for them. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

At the age of 15, the filmmaker and actor Kyla Harris had an accident that forever changed what her body could do, and what it couldn’t. From then on, she needed someone with her 24 hours a day to help her with things like going to the bathroom, cooking and showering. Family members, friends, romantic partners and personal assistants have all played a role in Kyla’s care over the years. She’s had to learn to communicate, in exceptionally clear terms, how her body feels and what it needs, at any hour of the day or night. Kyla is a creator and the star of the BBC TV show “We Might Regret This,” and her character, Freya, has the same disability that Kyla does. While the show depicts a fictional world, its complex web of remarkably close, interdependent relationships is, in part, inspired by Kyla’s life. In this episode of “Modern Love,” Kyla tells Anna Martin what it’s been like to approach every want and need as a group project. This dynamic becomes especially interesting when it comes to Kyla’s thriving sex life, from dance-floor makeouts to long-term partnerships. Kyla discusses getting creative with her body — and the occasional prop — and takes a deep dive into what intimacy can really mean. How to submit a Modern Love Essay How to submit a Tiny Love Story Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here https://www.nytimes.com/activate-access/audio?source=podcatcher . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app. Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Explore the trials and tribulations of love in these deeply personal essays. A collaboration of The New York Times and WBUR in Boston, Modern Love: The Podcast features the popular New York Times column, with readings by notable personalities and updates from the essayists themselves. Join host Meghna Chakrabarti (WBUR) and Modern Love editor Daniel Jones (NYT) -- and fall in love at first listen. Subscribe today at nytimes.com/podcasts or on Apple Podcasts, Spotify and Amazon Music. You can also subscribe via your favorite podcast app here . For more podcasts and narrated articles, download The New York Times app at nytimes.com/app . Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.